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Chicago Is a Sissy Town!
Almost 20 years ago, I remember visiting the Sears Tower in Chicago and having to sit through a promotional film about how goddamned great the then-Second City (and now third, after NYC and LA) was and how much better the Sears Tower was than the Empire State Building, the Chrysler Building, and the World Trade Center combined.
In a curious bit of '80s waning homophobia--the sort on display, say, in virtually every episode of Barney Miller and Three's Company--the John Facenda[*]-like narrator proclaimed, a propos of absolutely nothing, "Chicago ain't no sissy town!" He was, if memory serves, quoting some alderman or whatever the fuck they've got there.
Well, it turns out that Chicago is a sissy town, though in a way that has naught to do with sexuality:
If you're a cell phone-using, goose liver-eating, cigarette-smoking, fast food-loving person, Chicago might not be your kind of town.
In this city that once winked at Prohibition, members of the City Council are trying to crack down on things they deem unhealthy, immoral or just plain annoying.
A proposal that would restrict fast-food chains from cooking with artery-clogging trans fat oils got a public airing last week, and in the past year alone aldermen have banned smoking in nearly all public places and the use of cell phones while driving.
In April, Chicago became the first U.S. city to outlaw the sale of foie gras, a goose liver delicacy that is decried by animal-rights activists because it is created by force-feeding birds to fatten up their livers.
Whole thing here.
"Stormy, husky, brawling,/City of the Big Shoulders"--not so much anymore.
[*]: corrected
Update: Reader Chris Scoggins writes in with news that Windy City pols now want to micro-chip Fido.
More Update: Reader Dave Wegener points to a Sun-Times' story about Chicago pols pushing for hiked wages and benefits to be paid by big-box retailers.
|7.25.06 @ 2:24PM|#
Rush Limbaugh is reading your article on the air right
now(11:22am pst).
You should get residuals Nick.
|7.25.06 @ 2:28PM|#
Funny coincidence. My brother is visiting Chicago right now, and he's been sending me text messages about how it's such a great town for the last few days. Apparently the club scene is thriving, as he went to 20 different places on Sunday night. Wonder if there was any smoking in them?
|7.25.06 @ 2:29PM|#
Wow -- all this and you guys don't even mention the impending big-box wage ordinance that is coming up for a vote today.
|7.25.06 @ 2:33PM|#
Wonder if there was any smoking in them?
Joe,
I believe that that the non-smoking rules for bars/clubs are being
slowly phased in and won't be enforced until July 1, 2008 --
whereas it has already taken effect for restaurants
|7.25.06 @ 2:35PM|#
Funny to accuse a city of being sissified for banning foie gras of all things. It's French, for Chrissakes! I'm surprised Texas hasn't banned it.
|7.25.06 @ 2:40PM|#
In April, Chicago became the first U.S. city to outlaw the
sale of foie gras, a goose liver delicacy that is decried by
animal-rights activists because it is created by force-feeding
birds to fatten up their livers.
Simply another reason not to visit Chicago.
|7.25.06 @ 2:51PM|#
Heinlein was right... we're living in the Crazy Years.... or the Year of the Jackpot.
|7.25.06 @ 2:55PM|#
ChicagoTom, just don't tell me that Gino's is getting rid of the
sausage pizza. You know the one, with the solid layer of fatty and
deadly sausage.
Chicago is a fine place in the summer. Plenty of fun to be had, and
it has good museums to go to on free days when you're a poor
student. And the pizza is the best. It's also the most
openly corrupt city I've ever seen. Heck, I personally got
to see a place zoned for towing AFTER my car was towed. With no
legal recourse that the city would recognize. That's okay, of
course, because they were filming a movie across the street from my
apartment (Blink). But I'm not bitter.
|7.25.06 @ 3:11PM|#
Wow -- all this and you guys don't even mention the
impending big-box wage ordinance that is coming up for a vote
today.
I heard about 30 seconds of some people debating this on the radio
this morning. An alderman was saying something about people in the
poorer neighborhoods would be willing to work for slave wages if
that's the best pay they could find, but he needed to ensure that
they were paid a living wage. Another debater interjected that
actually slaves weren't paid at all.
|7.25.06 @ 3:12PM|#
Okay, the paternalistic government stuff is obnoxious, but you can find that everywhere. What's with the Chicago-bashing? I happen to be moving from Chicago to DC next week after a couple of years in this great town, and I'm really going to miss it. The views of the city from the lakeshore are spectacular, unmatched anywhere. Great food, great music scene, beautiful parks, and a populace who are happy and proud to be here. This city has a soul. Heck, even the corruption has something to be said for it, because this city runs like clockwork (just don't ask too many questionns about how). Compare it to, say, Philadelphia, where the corruption is combined with incompetence. Nick probably just got jilted by some girl from Chicago.
|7.25.06 @ 3:14PM|#
My brother is at the Museum of Science and Industry today, as a matter of fact. Now I wish I'd gone with him!
|7.25.06 @ 3:20PM|#
PL- Agreed. One of my favorite Chicago moments was when I walked
up to my building to find a crew in a "Mayor Daley's Graffiti
Patrol" van blasting the walls. I stopped to thank them for
cleaning up the building, and the guy running the operation
responded with a few words about how great Hizzoner was. Then he
asked me if I was registered to vote. I said no. He just happened
to have some voter registration forms in his truck, and was happy
to drop the form off at the appropriate office.
But the Chicago I lived in doesn't seem to have much to do with the
Chicago mentioned here. My Chicago was brusque, crowded, and
vibrant in a very down-to-earth sort of way. It was the kind of
place where you could buy deep-fried pizza puffs from a Greek guy
who smoked as he yelled at you to hurry up with your order. I
remember it as a brawny, beer-and-brats kind of place where even
the pidgeons would square up on you. In the ten years since I've
left, it seems as though things have changed.
|7.25.06 @ 3:21PM|#
"In this city that once winked at Prohibition, members of
the City Council are trying to crack down on things they deem
unhealthy, immoral or just plain annoying."
Like, say, oh, allowing the citizens of Chicago to defend
themselves from the criminal element with a firearm.
|7.25.06 @ 3:24PM|#
Why do liberal do gooders have to fuck up every great city in America? Chicago is fabulous. So is San Fran, or Washington DC, or LA for that matter. What is frustraiting is to think about how even more fabulous they would be if their city governments weren't so full of crap like this.
|7.25.06 @ 3:28PM|#
On the corruption comments- Daly's Chicago and Tom Pendergast's Kansas City lead me to believe that machine politics can work very well, at least in a practical sense. I'll give Chicago this much-the municipal side of things did work reasonably well. Kansas City, on the other hand, has gone on to provide proof that corruption and stunning incompetance can also go together.
|7.25.06 @ 3:28PM|#
You're missing the best headline coming out of Chicago in
2006:
One thing aldermen won't ban: Their raises
Foie gras forbidden. Trans fat endangered. Car cell phones
restricted.
No debate as pay hike cleared by committee
http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/nationworld/chi-0607250157jul25,1,4079292.story?coll=chi-newsnationworld-hed
|7.25.06 @ 3:45PM|#
(Slightly Off Topic)
Hey ya'll, Chicago is also hosting the DEA brainwashing exhibition
at the Museum of Science and Industry next month (August 11 through
December 3).
As Newsday reported on the exhibit when it was in New York:
"Like many anti-drug campaigns before it, this one rests on
shaky evidence and throws a fast emotional punch. [..]
There's a prominent display of World Trade Center debris
accompanied by an audio sound track reliving Sept. 11 and tying it
straight to the drug trade.
I think it would be great for any reasonoids in the Chicago area to
visit the propaganda and make general comments to people at the
displays about how the war on some drugs is the first front in the
war on our civil rights. That's how we can tie the war on terror to
the war on some drugs.
|7.25.06 @ 3:46PM|#
Why do liberal do gooders have to fuck up every great city
in America? Chicago is fabulous. So is San Fran, or Washington DC,
or LA for that matter.
Need I even point out the inconsistency here? :)
I've only been to Chicago twice, but I do love it. As a native New
Yorker, I'd say it's the only other city in the US that feels like
a "real city," whatever that means. I'd love to live there, if only
it wasn't so frickin' cold in winter, and with no skiing nearby to
boot.
|7.25.06 @ 3:47PM|#
Number 6,
I'm sure the other denizens of the Village think the latest Number
2 is doing a fine job.
Be seeing you :)
|7.25.06 @ 3:58PM|#
Hot Doug's
cooks fries in duck fat on Fridays and Saturdays.
There are no two finer words in the English language than "encased
meats," my friend.
|7.25.06 @ 4:02PM|#
This has nothing to do with liberal versus conservative politics. The nanny state do gooders can be found everywhere and from all political groups. For every liberal that supports a living wage law, there is a conservative that supports a public smoking ban. The hypocrisy of the conservatives is actually worse since liberals don't proclaim their support of smaller government while they pass new laws to control personal behavior.
|7.25.06 @ 4:03PM|#
""Why do liberal do gooders have to fuck up every great city in
America? Chicago is fabulous. So is San Fran, or Washington DC, or
LA for that matter.""
How do you mean fucked up?
Are the cities you mention the fucked up ones? What about New York,
yeah, yeah, A Republican liberal Mayor screwed it up, along with
that liberal Republican Governor.
Arkansas is trying to pass a law to keep you from smoking in your
car, so is that liberal Republican Mike Huckabee screwing that
state up?
Are the Liberals that the right-wingers hate, really
themselves?
I'm just trying to understand what you are talking about.
|7.25.06 @ 4:22PM|#
Compare it to, say, Philadelphia, where the corruption is
combined with incompetence.
Shh, no. Nothing to see in Philly. Move along.
|7.25.06 @ 4:23PM|#
Happy Jack- Now that you mention that, I'm trying to picture a
smoke-free Billy Goat Tavern. The image simply won't come.
PL-As it happens, I'm running for Number 2 in the next election.
It'll be a real free for all.
Tricky Vic- I'm trying to figure out what you're talking about. No
one here said anything about party affiliation, or suggested that
Republicans are immune from the nanny impulse.
|7.25.06 @ 4:28PM|#
I understand that Gaius Marius is a Chicagoan. I wonder how he feels about all this...
|7.25.06 @ 4:30PM|#
You really haven't lived unless you've driven 100 m.p.h. down
Lower Wacker. Or even Lower Lower Wacker.
Ah, the Billy Goat. Cheeseburger!
|7.25.06 @ 4:36PM|#
Number 6,
John posted "Why do liberal do gooders have to fuck up every great
city in America? Chicago is fabulous. So is San Fran, or Washington
DC, or LA for that matter."
John is implying it's the liberal do gooders screwing up the
american cities.
Does that clear it up?
Or am I mistaken in that people using the liberal word in this
manner are usually referring to Democrats.
|7.25.06 @ 4:44PM|#
TrickyVic,
Most large cities in this country are one party Democratic. They
have high taxes, dumb ass laws like the ones described here, and
terrible, ineffiecent union dominated services and policing. They
are in short liberal Democratic playgrounds.
|7.25.06 @ 4:56PM|#
Tricky- The problem is John's use of the term liberal.
Substitute 'pateralist,' 'nanny' or 'uplifter' and you'll get an
argument that' consistent.
I can't speak for John (nor would I want to), but most of us on
this board are not interested in the standard Dem/Rep,
liberal/conservative way of looking at things. In a way, we're even
more simple-minded: Those are all flavors of statism.
|7.25.06 @ 4:56PM|#
Most large cities in this country are one party Democratic.
They have high taxes, dumb ass laws like the ones described here,
and terrible, ineffiecent union dominated services and policing.
They are in short liberal Democratic playgrounds.
All terribly true. And yet what TrickyVic and I were taking you to
task for was your statement that these cities have been "f---d up."
I hate annoying liberal laws just as much as annoying conservative
laws, but if New York is f---d up, I'll take two and you can keep
Arkansas.
|7.25.06 @ 5:03PM|#
Thanks John for clearing up number 6's confusion about my post.
But John, number 6 is right. High taxes, dumb ass laws, do not come
only from Democrats.
Many Republicans are passing these laws too. If you hate that they
are being passed, something I believe that you and I share, don't
just blame the Democrats.
If there is anything that should be learned since the Republicans
took control of both houses of Congress and the Presidency, is that
power makes you act in certain ways regardless of political
affiliation.
|7.25.06 @ 5:08PM|#
By the way, Nick, I dare you to go up to Mike Ditka and call Chicago a sissy town. I DOUBLE dare you!
|7.25.06 @ 5:24PM|#
Pate is for pussies!
Bullshit, I love liver sausage. But Pate Philip is a pussy.
Most of the nannyfied ideas coming from city hall are because the
lakefront voters are considered the "swing" vote and people with
designs on running for mayor want to make sure those voters know
who they are. That's because the lakefront is where the
out-of-towners (the sissies) move to, so they don't know what
disgusting crooks these alderman are. This is why we got such
bat-shit insane ideas like being a "nuclear-free zone" even though
the technology was basically invented by Fermi on the goddmaned
South Side. We should be proud to be the birthplace, but screw that
when there's votes to be had!
Ed Burke - The "new" Chicago Pile.
|7.25.06 @ 5:30PM|#
I do not view things by political party myself, I am
non-partian. Neither side has a monopoly on stupidity, nannyism, or
anything else, including fiscal responsibility and desire for
smaller government.
My belief is people in power tend to want control over us. I do
agree that government should not be our babysitter. I am
responsible for my own ______(fill in the blank).
Though John and myself agree about the laws themselves, he has
placed the arugment under the term "Democrat". That I disagree
with. I believe he relates liberal with Democrat. If I'm wrong on
that John let me know, you have made other posts since your
original that backs up my original belief.
I didn't think there was such a thing as a liberal Republican, at
least not by listening to the rightwing rhetoric, however...
The Liberal Republican party was founded in 1872 by Republicans
discontented at the political corruption and the policies of
President Grant's first administration.
http://www.encyclopedia.com/html/L/LiberalR.asp
I stand corrected
I'll pass on Arkansas too, It's bad enough I have to go there once
a year to visit family.
|7.25.06 @ 6:17PM|#
Let's see if this posts now.
Michael Bloomberg is generally considered to be a liberal
Republican.
Granted, this thought isn't so important that I needed to try and
post it 3 times, but I'm weird in the head and wouldn't have been
able to truly enjoy my beer had I not posted this.
|7.25.06 @ 8:18PM|#
Michael Bloomberg is generally considered to be a liberal
Republican.
Bloomberg is a lifelong Democrat who only became a Republican
moments before running for mayor, in order to avoid the Democratic
fray. Rudy Giuliani is a better example of a liberal Republican -
and note that he didn't seem at all concerned with this nanny-state
stuff we're seeing now. It seems to me that the city councils are
where this nanny stuff is coming from - they seem to attract a more
liberal cohort than the regular population would suggest.
|7.25.06 @ 9:05PM|#
Rhywun:
Of course, because they are beholden to a small number of noisy
activists in each district that whine for and trumpet every goal
they have that their alderman/councilman accomplishes.
Still, if Rudy is a liberal Republican (and I'd call him a
moderate), give me more Rudys.
|7.25.06 @ 10:02PM|#
Hey c (if that is your real name) - I live within walking distance of the MSI; I'll make sure to mosey over and eyeball the exhibit when it comes in.
|7.25.06 @ 10:20PM|#
There are "liberal" Republicans, even if they are thinner on the
ground then they were in the middle of the last century. They used
to belong to the Ripon Society, and support Nelson Rockefeller or
Charles Percy for President. They survive in the wild in the
Northeast (ex.: Lincoln Chaffee) but have, over time, been re-named
RINOs* and often bolt to the D side of the party duopoly or become
nominal independents. (See: Lowell Weicker, Jim Jeffords)
Nothing above is meant to disparage the real liberal Republicans of
the Republican Liberty Caucus, of course.
Kevin
* Republicans In Name Only. "Rockefeller Republican" was the 20th
Century term of art.
|7.25.06 @ 10:21PM|#
Well, hopefully the aldermen won't ban The Taste of Chicago in a
nanny state health fit before I move back. Have the stormtroopers
also moved on Vienna hot dogs and Giordano's pizza, as well?
Can't wait for all the welfare state fun of the post-Daley mayor's
race.
|7.25.06 @ 11:19PM|#
Over the past year, I've visited Chicago twice, for the first
time since I was sixteen (not counting a couple business trips
where the only things I saw where the insides of the airport,a
taxicab, a hotel and a conference center).
I proclaim the Chicago-style hotdog a delicious bundle of
heart-stopping goodness.
Kind of a difficult city to drive around in, though. Currently even
more difficult to find a way off or onto a highway.
|7.25.06 @ 11:37PM|#
Just about all of these prohibitions seem like sissy nanny-state nonsense (and I could add more like helmet laws to the mix) but I'm not sure about the ban on fois gras. From what I've read it really is an incredibly cruel procedure and done for no other reason than pleasing the palate. It's not for medical reasons. When it comes to the treatment of animals, I'm not on the side of peta but I do find there are some issues that are not so easy one way or the other; animals might not have the same rights as humans but that doesn't mean we shouldn't exercise restraint and compassion in deciding how to treat them.
|7.25.06 @ 11:45PM|#
Chicago rolls merrily on:
Brats, Beer, Sox, Cubs, the spirit of Royko, Da Bears, Da Bulls, Da
Coach, and all da Alderman under Hizzoner's thumb.
Love the city, hate the corruption but it will take a lot more than
a few pussy laws to take down this great city. Besides, foie gras
tastes like shit compared to a Giordano's slice anyway.
The real travesty according to my wife is Macy's over Fields - now
that sucks.
|7.26.06 @ 12:24AM|#
I'm not sure about the ban on fois gras.
Well, I wouldn't touch the stuff because of the cruelty aspect and
because it sounds revolting. But - I don't think it's something our
elected elders need to be wasting their time on. Someone will point
out now that such frilly nonsense keeps them from really screwing
things up, which I guess is a valid point.
Republicans In Name Only
Man, I hate that freaking phrase. It smacks of ideological elitism.
Something that never happens around here :)
|7.26.06 @ 1:02AM|#
I'm not sure about the ban on fois gras.
Well, I wouldn't touch the stuff because of the cruelty aspect
and because it sounds revolting.
Good! More for me!
It's not cruel. Those ducks and geese are treated better than your
average factory farm poultry. In fact they are treated better than
the "free-range" birds you can buy at the store. They are pampered
and allowed to live more like the animals on the farm in "Babe."
The last couple of weeks of their lives they get force fed a very
rich diet which they love. The force feeding is not as brutal as it
sounds. The birds actually seem to like it and will approach their
"tormentors" with an open beak, awaiting the funnel o'food. I think
Tony Bourdain went to a foie gras farm on one of his shows. Watch
that and let me know what you think about the cruelty aspect.
Regarding "fatty liver" sounding revolting:
It sounds so wrong, but it tastes so right.
|7.26.06 @ 3:31AM|#
Highnumber,
No, I haven't seen the show you mentioned. Do you have a
link?
In any case, I'm open to changing my mind on the subject - if
indeed the procedure in this case isn't so cruel. I was led to
believe it was.
The bottom line for me is that, in a case of animal cruelity, where
the purpose is purely for human pleasure, if this should
necessarily be handled outside the rule of law. Maybe in this
particular case, once seeing all the facts, I'll change my mind.
But I do wonder about where the line should be drawn in more clear
cut cases of animal cruelity - I don't think it should just be left
up to personal preferences if we really are talking about a clear
cut case of animal cruelity.
|7.26.06 @ 6:23AM|#
Is there something anti-libertarian about supporting the
restriction of cell-phone use on PUBLIC property? Numerous studies
have found yapping on your phone to be as dangerous as driving
while mildly drunk. Anecdotally, just about everyone I know has a
half-dozen stories about near-misses (or full-blown accidents) with
these oblivious yapping morons.
I am all for banning the yap on public transportation and similar
places as well. Learn to text message, you lazy freaks. If they
ever begin to allow talking on airplanes, there will be a war
between the inconsiderate clods and the civil majority, I
swear.
|7.26.06 @ 8:54AM|#
I am all for banning the yap on public transportation and
similar places as well.
Ha. NYC is poised to facilitate cell phoning *underground* -
supposedly "per demand". And people wonder why folks roam the city
in their headphones. The inane yapping heard between your average
two New Yorkers is bad enough - being surrounded by one-sided
conversations is going to make me postal.
|7.26.06 @ 9:57AM|#
BornAgainIconoclast,
Next they'll be banning the Blues Festival. Seems that the blues
are just too depressing.
|7.26.06 @ 11:47AM|#
I can't believe no one's mentioned the 2006 Gay Games, being held in Chicago right now.
|7.26.06 @ 8:21PM|#
VM
Just used slice cuz nobody could eat a whole "pie".
BTW, I cited Giordanos as a more familiar reference, but for my
money, Malnati's is best. Better sausage, buttercrust, and a
plethora rather than an orgy of cheese (to steal liberally from
Dane Cook).
|7.26.06 @ 10:21PM|#
Ah, the classic Lou's vs. Gino's vs. Giordano's debate. Naturally, Gino's is best :)
|7.27.06 @ 10:08AM|#
The FIBs in the Big Onion can be such sissies sometimes. Frex,
they often go apeshit if you put a little ketchup on your
frankfurter. What's that all about?
Kevin
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