Reason Magazine
- reason.com
- reason.tv
- reason.org
- Donate
- Site Search:
Reason on Facebook
Reason on Twitter
Reason on YouTube
Reason RSSGet Reason E-mail Updates!
Manage your Reason e-mail list subscriptionsadvertisements
New at Reason
Robert Stacy McCain tosses an M-80 into anti-fireworks hysteria.
MP|7.3.06 @ 10:07AM|#
Fireworks injuries are relatively rare, accounting for an
estimated 0.01 percent of annual U.S. injuries, according to an APA
analysis which found that injuries from cooking ranges are four
times as common as fireworks injuries
Misuse of statistics alert! Guess what Robert, that's because
people cook every day. They only shoot off fireworks a couple of
times a year.
which are instead covered by a patchwork quilt of state
laws.
Actually, the quilt is far more localized than simply at the state
level. Just look at the
variation among 19 towns in the seacoast area of New
Hampshire.
|7.3.06 @ 10:08AM|#
But seriously,
I have two funny sniglets from this weekend. Where I live there are
about 3500 fireworks stands (I live near tribal land). Or it could
be just one stand that's about ten miles long. Anyway, yesterday I
passed one with an electronic sign that said "And the Lord said buy
fireworks." I thought that was pretty good. The other is that my
wife told me she saw a station wagon that was absolutely loaded
with fireworks. As she's marveling over this, she sees the driver -
smoking a cigarette. Darwin, folks.
Timothy|7.3.06 @ 10:15AM|#
Growing up in Oregon all of the good fireworks were illegal. Sometimes we'd go up to Washington and get something fun like bottle rockets or saturn missiles, but mostly (once we were teenagers) we'd all buy a good supply of the legal stuff and spend all day on the 4th making it fun. You can do a surprising amount with magic whips, piccolo petes, a few film canisters and some duct tape.
|7.3.06 @ 10:15AM|#
I really wish some of the morons in my neighborhood would have blown off a hand or two last night when they were blowing off fireworks at 3am. It's a good thing Chicago has banned them - it works almost as well as the bans on cell phones while driving, guns, drugs, and spray paint!
|7.3.06 @ 10:18AM|#
I'm sure that the fireworks accidents that do happen have nothing to do with the 24 pack of beer consumed immediately prior to lighting them.
|7.3.06 @ 10:19AM|#
Just one more symptom of the pussification of America.
If you want me tomorrow, I'll be eating barbeque, spending time
with a significant other, and blowing stuff up. I may spend part of
the day on standby at the fire/ambulance station, but in the last
two years, we've never sent an ambulance out for a fireworks
injury, so that effort may be wasted.
|7.3.06 @ 10:22AM|#
Timothy,
How about a tennis ball and strike anywhere match heads? That's
some good times.
CA had all shorts of shitty bans on fireworks. So instead, me and
my friends would try to sneak fireworks back from Mexico if any of
us went.
Those were some fucking dangerous fireworks. There were the
occaisonal poorly designed bottle rocket that would turn around
before exploding. The inconsistent wick burning times (an M-80 w/ a
fast wick is scary fun). And my personal favorite, the wicks that
would go out a centimeter before the end forcing us to relight due
to the rarity of the fireworks. It sure did help with reflexes
though. So fireworks laws actually had the reverse effect on safety
for me and my friends, but the fun was multiplied.
Jennifer|7.3.06 @ 10:28AM|#
I had to get our city's police blotter yesterday. In addition to
four or five arrests for drugs, there were various arrests for
illegal fireworks as well ('tis the season).
Oh, and ONE guy who committed what we'd consider an actual crime.
Eleven or twelve arrests--only one guy who actually caused harm to
another human being.
Remember how much freedom we used to have before the government
decided that it had the same responsibility over its citizens that
parents have over their three-year-old child? I don't remember
that, but I've read about it in history books.
Taxes used to be a lot lower, too, because we didn't have to pay
for things like court-penal systems where eleven out of twelve
arrests are of people who haven't hurt anybody.
|7.3.06 @ 10:28AM|#
#6,
My mother-in-law used to work for a hospital in the medical records
dept. She said every single year without fail there would be five
or six people that lost anywhere from a finger to a hand.
Personally, I don't buy fireworks anymore because I consider them
to be a collosal waste of money, because I don't want my money
going to tribal coffers anyway, and because it's much more
gratifying to send a 45-70 govt. round into a cinder block to blow
it up.
Timothy|7.3.06 @ 10:33AM|#
Mo: I actually never tried that one, personally. It does sound like a hell of a good time, though. The second to last July 4th in college was the last time I built anything. I had a few pussies for friends who didn't want any of my homebrew fireworks going off in front of their house for some damn fool reason. Fear of cops or something, I have no idea.
Jennifer|7.3.06 @ 10:37AM|#
I used to love setting off fireworks, but apparently my
boyfriend has known a couple of people who had bad fireworks
experiences. So we have an agreement--I won't buy or light
fireworks, which would make him worry; in exchange for this he
won't buy or ride a motorcycle, which would make me worry.
I don't mind staying away from fireworks for my boyfriend's
benefit. But to hell with any government that would require me to
do so.
Ron Hardin|7.3.06 @ 10:43AM|#
The best fireworks are the cherry bombs you save for meaningful
occasions later in the year, like blowing up a balsa-wood model
airplane in flight.
This was before TSA.
|7.3.06 @ 10:47AM|#
Hey, my philosophy is this.
You lose your finger or your hand. You tough it out, and live the
best life you can without it.
You injure somoene else who was willingly participating, then you
duke it out as to whose fault it was and who pays your bills.
You injure someone who was not participating, or destroy his
property, get ready to have your ass sued off, and if a relative or
a neighbor, to start a looooong feud that maybe your grandchildren
will put an end to.
Happy Fourth.
|7.3.06 @ 10:50AM|#
"court-penal systems where eleven out of twelve arrests are of
people who haven't hurt anybody."
The US INjustice Complex is running a protection racket.
|7.3.06 @ 10:59AM|#
Timothy,
The way you do it is this. Slice a slit in a tennis ball and cut
the matchheads off of the strike anywhere matches. CAREFULLY* fill
it up with a shitload of matchheads. When you're done, duct tape
the opening securely and throw it against a wall.
Instant fireball.
Granted, it's not as impressive as most storebought fireworks.
However, it is a bargain basement option, the danger inherent in
its construction adds to the fun and making your own stuff is
always more satifying.
* The less friction the better. You don't want to get to the
activation energy of the match.
|7.3.06 @ 11:15AM|#
Why can't the anti-liberty crowd manage to understand the
concept of risk/reward tradeoffs? And that the indivdual is best
placed to make those decisions.
I actually watched a PBS documentary on surfing last night, and
they were showing clips from "the perfect storm of Hawaii waves" or
whatever they were calling it. Biggest waves ever, 10 story falls
if you get things wrong.
Anyway, one of the surfers put it best when asked why he did it:
It's the difference between living and existing.
The nanny state merely wants us to exist. They don't give a rat's
ass if we live, which is to say, they could care less if we enjoy
the life we have. All in the name of abolishing risk. In the name
of the children of course....
|7.3.06 @ 11:18AM|#
Not bad, but I was wondering..When are Sam Francis, Jared Taylor, and all the rest of those guys going to start writing for Reason?
|7.3.06 @ 11:25AM|#
The nanny state wants ME to exist. Don't be too sure it wants happy juggler's to exist.
Timothy|7.3.06 @ 11:41AM|#
Mo: These objects are what I need when I build my life-sized replica of Super Mario Bros. Flower power indeed! I wonder if using waterproof matches would help ease the danger of construction being that they need more friction to activate.
|7.3.06 @ 11:47AM|#
I have many illegal fireworks memories. (The fireworks were
illegal, the memories aren't, for now anyway).
The most relevant one was as a teenager there was this high rock
off in the woods that had a flat surface. So we shot off fireworks
from there because it was a pretty far distance from the road,
making it hard for cops to be able to get close enough to us to
catch us.
Anyway, one of the fireworks landed in the woods and started a
fire. Some of ran and tried to stomp it out, while others
(nonparticpant spectators) ran away. We managed to stomp it out,
but if we hadn't been able to it would've been the biggest news
headline in the US on that 4th of July I suspect.
No way the fire department could've gotten close enough to put it
out, since by design we were far enough away from the road to be
hard to reach.
Moral of the story? Prohibition is dangerous.
Robert|7.3.06 @ 11:57AM|#
Consumer (1.4 g, class C) fireworks, hell. Real pyros make their own. However, here in the Bronx lots of commercial display (1.3 g, class B) fireworks get shot too. Last year someone a couple blocks away had 5" shells, which stood out only a little against the neighborhood background of 3" & B cakes as well as the din of C.
|7.3.06 @ 12:07PM|#
When we were kids, we would build model airplanes and insert
firecrackers into the wings and fuselage before gluing.
We went to a local train trestle, dipped some fresh glue in the
wing, lit the glue, and then suspended the model plane from a
wire.
Next we would run down to the bottom and shoot BBs at the burning
model, kicking off rancid black smoke. Sometimes the wing would
blow off, other times pieces of smoldering plane would fall off and
rush towards us. What fun that was.
Now, for a more modern view of how to end up in the emergency room,
here's how not to hold a bottle rocket.
http://www.ebaumsworld.com/videos/buttrocket.html
|7.3.06 @ 12:09PM|#
MP: Not all people cook every day. I know some
people who probably shoot fireworks more often than they
cook.
In general, anti-fireworks hysteria illustrates the inability of
many people to distinguish between danger (the
possibility that something might cause harm) and
risk (the real likelihood of harm).
To illustrate: Gasoline is highly flammable and therefore very
dangerous. Yet Americans use millions of gallons of gasoline every
year with only a relatively tiny number of injuries caused by
gasoline-related fires. If you were to count auto accident
fatalities as "gasoline-related deaths," however, you might have
the makings of a clever media hysteria campain.
I am aware of three "fireworks-related" deaths in 2004-2005 which
resulted from separate enactments (in Florida and Virginia) of this
scenario:
a. Moron buys a bunch of fireworks and puts them in the backseat of
his car.
b. Moron and his friend drive around, lighting fireworks and
tossing them from the car window.
c. An accidental spark ignites the fireworks in the backseat.
d. Spectacular death ensues.
If some dimwit wants to be a Darwin Awards finalist, consumer
fireworks are one possible means of competition. But I am reminded
of Jeff Foxworthy, who observes that the famous last words of a
redneck are: "Hey, y'all, watch this!"
You can outlaw fireworks, but you can't outlaw stupidity.
|7.3.06 @ 12:10PM|#
When was the last time you had a really good bottle rocket war?
If you got caught doing that now (especially if you allowed MINORS
under twenty-one to play) you'd probably end up doing hard time in
an institution for the criminally insane.
Not that I have ever done that; I read about it in a book....
Captain Holly|7.3.06 @ 12:17PM|#
This is somewhat related, but this morning my son and I were
watching a program on the Science channel about amateur
high-altitude rocketry -- you know, the guys the ATFE wants to shut
down -- and for some inexplicable reason, the program was rated as
"NR/AO" (not rated/adults only) on the satellite guide and "TV MA"
on the screen.
For the life of me, I couldn't figure out why. You normally only
see such ratings for shows like South Park and cheap
soft-core porn on Cinemax.
Being a slightly paranoid libertarian-minded person, I concluded
the only reason (other than a system glitch) was
because it showed grown men building large, potentially
dangerous objects, lighting them off, and launching them thousands
of feet in the air.
I'm sure any Safety Nanny, government or otherwise, who would
agitate for a ban on today's tepid consumer fireworks would have a
heart attack seeing that program ("They're handling explosives!
Without protective equipment!"). My theory is the network probably
figured it would be accused of inciting teenagers to build rockets
themselves and therefore treated it like porn when it came time to
attach a rating for the guide.
The good thing about all of this? My son and my daughter got all
excited and asked if I still had my model rockets. So I'm going to
get a couple of necessary parts and we're going to launch them off
this summer.
|7.3.06 @ 12:20PM|#
I have great memories of running around my grandparents yard
with sprinklers. Of course, you cannot buy any fireworks within
city limits so you have to drive to the county line. As soon as you
cross, there are dozens of firework shops one after another.
My son's Dr. told me that they see more injuries from kids who
accidently stap themselves in the neck with the pointy end of a
flag than from fireworks. Should we ban little flags??
So far as people losing fingers and hands. Every year at hurricane
season people accidently cut off their body parts trying to saw
fallen trees. Should we ban chain saws?? Or perhaps ban
hurricanes?? Or I guess we could say no one except a certified
licensed tree cutter is allowed to cut down trees after
hurricanes!
|7.3.06 @ 12:27PM|#
I can live without blanket fireworks bans, too, but doesn't it
make sense to have local and conditional ones?
After Hurricane Wilma passed through here, we had over a week of
unseasonably dry, windy weather, no electricty, days without
running water and phone service of any kind, seven-foot-tall piles
of fallen limbs and brush by the curbs and some idiots down the
street setting off fireworks at night. The libertarian remedy for
the catastropic damage this could have caused -- suits for property
damage -- wouldn't have been of much help given that the guys
setting off the fireworks were living in the Section-8 and
trransient rental buildings down the street by the train
tracks.
If it's only you and your guests that you're at reasonable risk of
injuring and it's not during a drought and you have health
insurance or adequate funds to pay for trauma care and it's only
your property that's suceptible to damage, sure, I'll agree
fireworks are safe enough that you should be allowed to set them
off in your big backyard.
As for beaches, parks, parking lots and city streets, that should
largely be up to the entities with local jurisdiction, with the
approval of whoever's gonna have to respond to a fire
emergency.
By the way, I like George
Wallace-admirer McCain's other statistical weaseling:
...anti-fireworks activists, led by the National Fire Protection Association (NFPA), still prophesy the rise of a generation of maimed halfwits, victims all of the grasping, growing Firecracker Trust. ... Calling fireworks a "significant public health concern," NFPA President James Shannon said, "Every year consumer fireworks injure and maim our children." Children? The majority of those injured by fireworks are 15 or older and 72 percent are male.
So how many are under 15? 49 percent? And whats the significance of
the gender brekdown? That -- aha! -- children can't be
male? That injuries to boys don't count? Wha?
|7.3.06 @ 12:28PM|#
Hey Cap'n Holly, I have a friend who took that model rocket
hobby up. He's had nothing but bad luck with his rockets,
unfortunately. Lots of crumpled metal...
I think this is an outstanding hobby for kids who are interested in
science or engineering! Quick, before it's made illegal.
|7.3.06 @ 1:28PM|#
model rocketry was actually a unit covered in science class when
i was in elementary school.
i remember cub scout competitions too.
unfortunately, half of the kids in my pack had dads who worked for
mcdonnel douglas, so their rockets always kicked my rocket's
ass.
|7.3.06 @ 1:41PM|#
I don't really have anything to add to the fireworks debate. My
kids are too young to play with them, and I'm too busy running
after said kids to do so.
I will offer this piece of advice: If you're having a bottle-rocket
war (i.e. using cashed-out roman candles as "guns" and firing
bottle rockets at your friends), wear cotton. Because sweatshirts
do ignite.
Rich Ard|7.3.06 @ 1:41PM|#
'Round the 4th of July my high school chemistry teacher always
made it a point to have a metal trashcan full of water outside the
classroom with a chunk of sodium or potassium hanging by a remote
switch - liability concerns forced him to cut it out the year after
I graduated. Always wanted to hang out at his house (in the
boonies) over the 4th weekend.
Also, dry ice + water + a 2-liter bottle = pieces of whatever
they're put into over a large tract of land.
Jennifer|7.3.06 @ 1:53PM|#
I think this is an outstanding hobby for kids who are
interested in science or engineering! Quick, before it's made
illegal.
It already is.
http://highclearing.com/index.php/archives/2006/06/07/5182
|7.3.06 @ 2:00PM|#
Rich,
Dry-ice bombs are the best. I went to school at NMSU for a while
and every time people would set one of those off it was an
earth-shaking explosion that would set off car alarms for at least
a half-mile.
Good times.
|7.3.06 @ 2:01PM|#
Mr. Koppelman:
1. The article, which had to be edited to meet length limits,
originally referred to the fact that the NFPA's 2005 anti-fireworks
ad depicted a cuddly-cute 5-year-old girl as the prototypical
fireworks injury victim. In fact, if one takes time to look at the
statistics, it becomes clear that teenage boys (not exactly known
as a risk-averse population) account for a disproportionate number
of fireworks injuries.
2. The George Wallace article states facts, generally acknowledged
by historians of all political opinions. Wallace's 1968 third-party
bid played a key role in destroying the New Deal/Great Society
coalition of liberal Democrats that had dominated American politics
for more than 30 years. Wallace harnessed and channeled public
dissatisfaction with Welfare State liberalism, taking blue-collar
voters from the Democrats not only in the South, but in the
industrial Midwest, thus dooming Humphrey -- and pointing the way
toward a future in which Thomas Frank would someday ask, "What's
the Matter With Kansas?"
Establishment Republican mythologists have sought to minimize the
importance of Wallace's 1968 campaign. I am not an Establishment
Republican mythologist. Next question.
Captain Holly|7.3.06 @ 2:12PM|#
Hey Cap'n Holly, I have a friend who took that model rocket
hobby up. He's had nothing but bad luck with his rockets,
unfortunately. Lots of crumpled metal...
My rocket hobby is much cheaper. I only have the over-the-counter
Estes brand stuff that use the little "A" through "D" rated motors
(the lettering designates how much solid propellant is in the
motor. A's have about 5 grams, IIRC). My launch pad broke a few
years ago and I've never bothered to fix it. This looks like the
year.
I've had a yen on occasion to take the next step and build some of
the bigger (4 to 6 feet tall) and more expensive retail rocket kits
that use the "E" "F" and "G" motors. AFAIK, those are still legal
without an ATFE permit.
The ATFE is hassling the people who use refillable motors or make
their own. Apparently, as a response to 9/11, they decided that
such things are now considered explosives and thus require stricter
regulations. I believe Reason had a story about it a few
months ago after a district court told the ATFE it was full of
crap.
Rich Ard|7.3.06 @ 2:17PM|#
sage:
A friend of mine in college lived far enough out in the country
that his mailbox was one of several lined up on a 4x4 at the end of
a dirt road. There was an 'extra' mailbox for a house that had been
demolished, and we stuffed a dry-ice bomb into it expecting that
the blast would punch a hole in the side - maybe blow it off the
post - and provide a laugh.
Between four of us we ended up buying about $600 worth of lumber
and mailboxes. Craziest shit I've ever seen.
|7.3.06 @ 2:28PM|#
It already is.
Aaauughh. This fireworks story has just made me pissy. Going to
Nevada to buy real good stuff, and then blowing it up back in LA,
was a staple of childhood. I fondly remember my mother refusing a
cop entry to our house after a particularly vivid aerial display
(we'd hidden the booty in some bushes). Sweet memories. Mom ruled.
Of course, we didn't live in a high fire-risk area - we weren't
assholes. If there is a chance you're gonna set a horrendous
wildfire, or catch a shake-shingled roof on fire, just say
no.
|7.3.06 @ 2:35PM|#
And if you're driving across country with a big bag of illegal fireworks sitting on a pile of dirty laundry in the trunk, and you stop to put out a brush fire, think twice about where you put the blue jeans you used to help extinguish the blaze.
Jennifer|7.3.06 @ 2:37PM|#
With all this safety regulation we see nowadays, no fireworks,
no junk food, no cigarettes, no driving without a seatbelt, no
bike-riding without a helmet and elbow pads, blah, blah, blah, I'm
giving us five years maximum before we see a town or city somewhere
here in the Land o' the Free and Home o' the Brave making it
illegal for homes to have more than one story.
Because, you know, stairs can be dangerous. Remember that
Twilight Zone episode where Telly Savalas died after a
Satanic doll tripped him down the staircase? Amd little children
with poor motor skills can fall down stairs. Hell, I myself almost
died from a stair-related accident when I was three; luckily, I
fell when I was only four steps up from the bottom, rather than ten
or fifteen steps. And where was the government, I ask you? Not
protecting my toddler ass, that's for sure. Shame on
them.
America WILL lose its world-power status within thirty years if not
sooner, once the Pussy Generation takes over the military and
responsibility for national defense and then Grenada kicks our ass
in revenge for what we did in the 80s.
|7.3.06 @ 2:59PM|#
Ahh...fireworks...
In reading the posts, I'm reminded of my high school chemistry
teacher. We did get to see the sodium in water, as well as nitrogen
iodide, "experiments." He also had one with magnesium flash powder,
a small flower pot, and a metal (steel) plate. He did his own
"amateur" fireworks--so much so that he had a bunker in his back
yard and his neighbors even asked him to do fireworks for their
daughter's wedding.
That aside, I currently reside in an apartment complex in an area
where it is hot and dry this time of year, and fireworks are
illegal. However, they are readily available (state line 10 miles
away, reservation within 25 miles). My biggest concern is always
that idiots that launch shells over my domicile. I don't care if
they burn down their own homes. I just wish I could do more (aside
from calling the cops) to prevent them from endangering my
property. I doubt they'll listen to reason and law suits are an
after-my-stuff-burned-up remedy. Short of "negotiation" with a .38,
I'm at a loss.
Any ideas?
mjs
|7.3.06 @ 3:01PM|#
mjs,
If it's hot and dry, take a garden hose out and douse your roof
real good when the works start. And if a stream happens to land on
the guy's crotch that's lighting them...oops.
|7.3.06 @ 3:02PM|#
I live in an area with a ban on any form of private aerial
fireworks display. We can have our six-foot fountains, but that's
about the extent of it.
Just across the state line, they sell the Good Stuff, though. And
there are also the Indian reservations, where you can (I hear...)
get the Great Stuff.
So, every July 4th, I take my kids up on a ridge that overlooks our
little river valley, and we watch the extensive private aerial
displays that are visible from one end of the valley to the
other.
Every one of those shots represents someone who is looking at the
law, sees that the law is an ass, and chooses to violate it, in a
VERY public fashion.
Chokes me up a little. Gives me some hope.
|7.3.06 @ 4:37PM|#
Telly Savalas died after a Satanic doll tripped him down the
staircase?
"I'm Talking Tina, and I'm going to kill you!"
YYYYEEEESSSS My favorite episode.
Lazlo|7.3.06 @ 6:04PM|#
It already is.
Aw come on Jennifer, you know the federales are only going after
United Nuclear because Lazar blew the lid off
what was really happening at Area 51...
|7.4.06 @ 1:42AM|#
Yesterday the greatest question was decided which ever was
debated in America; and a greater perhaps never was, nor will be,
decided among men. A resolution was passed without one dissenting
colony, that those United Colonies are, and of right ought to be,
free and independent States.
Letter to Mrs. Adams, July 3, 1776.
The second day of July, 1776, will be the most memorable epocha
in the history of America. I am apt to believe that it will be
celebrated by succeeding generations as the great anniversary
festival. It ought to be commemorated as the day of deliverance, by
solemn acts of devotion to God Almighty. It ought to be solemnized
with pomp and parade, with shows, games, sports, guns,
bells, bonfires, and illuminations, from one end of this
continent to the other, from this time forward for evermore.
Letter to Mrs. Adams, July 3, 1776.
John Adams, who
guessed wrong about which day would become the
holiday.
When I was young and less responsible my friends and I found that
an empty caulking gun made for an excellent launcher for bottle
rockets. Sorta like having your own shoulder-mounted RPG.
Wolverines!
Kevin
Site comments/questions:
Media Inquiries and Reprint Permissions:
(310) 367-6109
Editorial & Production Offices:
3415 S. Sepulveda Blvd.
Suite 400
Los Angeles, CA 90034
(310) 391-2245