"They should not have dismissed me for what I believed."

Jesse Walker | May 5, 2006

It's always the smaller religions that get the shaft.

Comments

|5.5.06 @ 4:59PM|#

Consulting with mystic, omniscient dwarves? Maybe this judge is secretly Green Lantern.

|5.5.06 @ 5:04PM|#

Huh. Didn't say that he was fired for believing goofy shit, only that he was found incompetent and had violated professional ethics by showing bias in a case.
And even if he were fired for consulting gnomes or whatever the hell, I'm just not going to get my libertarian panties in a twist over it.
Oops, I meant boxers. Boxers, people. Ahem. Oooh, drinking time.

|5.5.06 @ 5:09PM|#

Seeing into the future??? Invisible mystical dwarfs??? How ridiculus! Why can't he believe in something reasonable, like the resurrection of Jesus or Moses parting the Red Sea?

|5.5.06 @ 5:09PM|#

They didn't dismiss him for "what he believed," they dismissed him because he was a lunatic that "was incompetent, had shown bias in a case he was trying and had criticized court procedure."

This should've been filed under "Friday Fun Link."

|5.5.06 @ 5:10PM|#

three mystic dwarfs -- Armand, Luis and Angel

Aw, hell, it's as valid as any other religious belief.

I'm with Jamie Kelly...it's drinking time.

|5.5.06 @ 5:20PM|#

This does bring up that interesting legal point--even for believers--what's the line between religion and insanity? If I'm a government employer and I have an employee that believes in some crazy religion and acts pretty loony, is there a point where I can fire him for his "religious" views or actions? Short of the employee doing something obviously illegal, of course. The kneejerk answer is "no", but I think there is some magic line out there. It's kind of like the question in some countries about whether Scientology is a cult or a religion.

Peter K.|5.5.06 @ 5:26PM|#

Pro has an excellent point. If a lot of people, and people in power, believe in some nutty religious ideas, it's okay.

I like the fact his mystic dwarf friends had names. Imagine.

"My name is Armand. This is Luis and Angel."

Jesse Walker|5.5.06 @ 5:29PM|#

They didn't dismiss him for "what he believed," they dismissed him because he was a lunatic that "was incompetent, had shown bias in a case he was trying and had criticized court procedure."

Six of one...

|5.5.06 @ 5:30PM|#

I like the fact his mystic dwarf friends had names. Imagine.

"My name is Armand. This is Luis and Angel."

Peter K.,

heeheehee I thought that was a nice touch.

I got a similar mental picture...lol!

|5.5.06 @ 5:32PM|#

If his mystic dwarf friends aren't real, how does he know their names?

I just hope he has the strength and courage to fight this injustice.

|5.5.06 @ 5:36PM|#

if Phillippine law doesn't specifically prohibit judges from consulting mystic dwarves, then they have to give him his job back, in a strict constructionist reading of the law

|5.5.06 @ 5:38PM|#

I think the triple-dwarf theology is kind of weirdly sweet. And at least no one's been burned at the stake or beheaded in the name of Armand.

Armand|5.5.06 @ 5:59PM|#

And at least no one's been burned at the stake or beheaded in the name of Armand.

Wait until Tuesday, oh just wait until Tuesday.

|5.5.06 @ 6:14PM|#

"And at least no one's been burned at the stake or beheaded in the name of Armand."

Wasn't that in Interview with the Vampire or something?

|5.5.06 @ 6:15PM|#

I love the idea of the judge consulting three dwarves, Snow White and the Holy Trinity.

Too bad we can't fire Bush for asking his imaginary friend Jesus to help him decide which brown people to kill.

Religions are all based on a belief that their fairy tales are better than yours.

|5.5.06 @ 6:19PM|#

I agree,it is drinking time. Unfortunately, a good portion of my ice cold Coors went though my nose upon reading the first paragraph of that story.

|5.5.06 @ 6:21PM|#

1) Influence Judge and give him ability to see into the future.
2) ??????????????????
3) Profit!

|5.5.06 @ 6:24PM|#

ARMAND WILL RULE WITH A ROD OF IRON LIKE OR NOT!

|5.5.06 @ 7:26PM|#

@mediageek: Is that all you got, pussy?

@all: Insanity is a minority of one.

|5.5.06 @ 7:37PM|#

Ah, AFORF, that was brilliant. But I have a couple of serious questions. Like, why are we only talking about Armand? What about Luis and Angel? And just how does this 'trinity' work? (Because, I gotta tell you, the Christian trinity don't make no sense, no how.) Are they separate but equal? (Harhar) Separate but unequal? (If they were a band would they be 'Armand and the Mystic Dwarves'?) Or are they some kind of three-in-one deal, perhaps joined by a 'common energy'? Moreover, what is their nature - entirely mystic, both human or mystic etc?

(By the way, these were all questions asked during the first centuries of Christianity - the 'wrong answers' became heresies...)

|5.5.06 @ 7:54PM|#

Now I've only spoken to Luis, but he assures me that Judge Floro got a raw deal. Luis is right. Luis is always right.

|5.5.06 @ 8:43PM|#

*Hits SY with a stick*

|5.5.06 @ 9:21PM|#

Well, at least the dwarves weren't called Larry, Darryl, and Darryl.

strat|5.5.06 @ 9:32PM|#

The fact that we have moved into the hermaneutics and exegetics of the Armand trinity convinces me that vacations are in order all around, or drinks, or something.

I may go start this religion online in Second Life.
Always wanted little culties following me around.

Warren|5.5.06 @ 9:34PM|#

My first thought was to equate this hack with AL Judge Roy Moore. Removed from the bench for failing to uphold the law, he screams "I'm being persecuted for my beliefs".

|5.5.06 @ 11:03PM|#

strat,

Last time I visited SL, Tringo was the one true faith.

|5.6.06 @ 2:29AM|#

What is this, a goddamn Buffy the Vampire Slayer site?

|5.6.06 @ 5:06AM|#

why are we only talking about Armand? What about Luis and Angel?

Because the true believers know ARMAND is the one. Luis and Angel sit by his side and bring his word, BUT IT IS THE WORD OF ARMAND! So says the prophet AFORF, in all caps, as ARMAND commands it.

are they some kind of three-in-one deal, perhaps joined by a 'common energy'?

Before all other mystic dwarves, there was ARMAND. Through his power, Luis and Angel evolved from clams from the planet Remulac over 5,000,000 years ago. I have a book, Diuretix, that explains all this. It's available for only $19.95.

Luis is right. Luis is always right.

Maurkov is a heretic, and will be punished, along with all who follow him, when ARMAND stops doing porn and comes to rule with his IRON ROD!

|5.6.06 @ 5:12AM|#

Oops. Sandy made the "porn star with Iron Rod" joke on the O'reilly thread.

|5.6.06 @ 9:55AM|#

This does bring up that interesting legal point--even for believers--what's the line between religion and insanity?

I think it has to do with how much you allow your religion to interfere with your ability to handle day-to-day life. If you know a hurricane is coming to your area next week, and you stock up on supplies and hurricane-proof your home, and then pray to God that you make it through okay, that's not insane. But if you don't make any preparations EXCEPT to pray to God, believing that's all that is necessary, that's where you start having problems.

|5.6.06 @ 11:37AM|#

Jennifer - What about those people who go on the news right after a tornado has destroyed their house, and say things like "God saved me because he loves me. This is proof of God's love."

|5.6.06 @ 12:35PM|#

Jennifer - What about those people who go on the news right after a tornado has destroyed their house, and say things like "God saved me because he loves me. This is proof of God's love."

Solipsists. Or perhaps people who simply feel that looking for the silver lining, however thin it may be, is better than brooding on what was lost.

|5.6.06 @ 1:21PM|#

Speaking of Those People....

The hurricane is coming, and everybody gets ready to bail out; everybody except one old guy, who says, "I'm stayin' put- God will take care of me."

The neighbors say, "uh huh." and depart.

The wind and the rain come, and trees fall down, and the power goes off, and the old guy is sitting in his living room in the dark, and a guy comes up and beats on the door: "Come on Grampaw, I came back to get some stuff with my pickup, and I surely got room in there for you."

The old man says, "I'm stayin' put- God will take care of me."

The guy with the pickup says, "uh huh," and away he goes.

Next morning, it dawns clear and sunny, but the water is coming up fast. It comes up the front steps, and shortly thereafter, it comes right in the front door. Later that day, the old man is sitting on the upstairs window sill, watching the debris float past, and a couple of firemen drift by in a boat. They offer to take him to dry land, but he won't budge. " God will take care of me."

Later that evening, the TV helcopter is taking pictures of the catastrophe, and they spot this poor, forlorn old man, clinging to his chimney as the current tries to wash him off the roof. They plead with him to let them rescue him, but he will have none of it. "My God will take care of me," he says to them, and waves them away.

Still later that evening, he finds himself standing, dripping muddy water all over the clean carpet, in St Peter's office. St Peter looks him up and down, and says, "Now what in the hell are you doing here.?"

The old man says, "I don't know; I trusted God to take care of me, but He let me down."

St Peter laughs, loud and hard, and says, "You dumb bastard hillbilly- we sent you a pickup truck, a boat, and a goddamned HELICOPTER, and you were too dumb to get in." Then he reaches forward and pull a big golden lever on his desk; a trapdoor opens beneath the old man and he falls into Hell.

"Some people..." mutters St Peter.

|5.6.06 @ 1:55PM|#

Wait until Tuesday, oh just wait until Tuesday.

Shut up you fool. You'll ruin everything.

|5.6.06 @ 2:00PM|#

So many! ...so tedious.

|5.6.06 @ 4:05PM|#

Ken, here's one (OT) for you:

Why was the IRS agent suspicious of the athiest?
Because he had no invisible means of support. **rimshot**

|5.6.06 @ 5:40PM|#

If a judge uses his religious or other non-rational beliefs, instead of the law, to decide cases, then he should be dismissed. This applies just as much to Christians, Jews, Mormons, environmentalists, etc, as it does to dwarf-worshippers. (Despite my status as Papist Avenger, I would say the same of a judge who decides a case based on an apparition of the Virgin Mary.) There is always the option of recusal if a judge considers it impossible to separate such beliefs from his decision.

Note that I'm talking about judges here, not legislators. If a legislator wants to base his votes on the dictates of his rice krispies, he should be free to do so so long as his constituents elect him. But a judge has to apply the law, not make it.

|5.6.06 @ 5:51PM|#

A zebra is killed by a lion at his favorite watering hole, and immediately whisked up to mammalian heaven. St Peter greets him at the pearly gates and asks him if he has any questions about his earthly life before entering heavenly bliss.

The zebra has only one question: "Am I black with white stripes or white with black stripes?" St Peter admits that he can't tell, and advises the martyred zebra to ask God himself when he gets a chance.

So the zebra asks God the same question, only to get the response, "YOU ARE WHAT YOU ARE!" Puzzled, the zebra returns to Peter to see what he thinks of that.

"You must be white with black stripes," Peter explains. "If you were black with white stripes, he would have said 'YOU IS WHAT YOU IS!'"


PS, I'm not a racist, but I found that funny as hell.

|5.6.06 @ 9:32PM|#

I love when I hear someone say, "I'm not a racist, but," because it means I'm about to hear something extremely racist and hilarious. You disappointed me , crimethink.

|5.7.06 @ 12:00AM|#

I love when I hear someone say, "I'm not a racist, but," because it means I'm about to hear something extremely racist and hilarious. You disappointed me , crimethink.

Comment by: the other Mark at May 6, 2006 09:32 PM



I, too, thought it was pretty funny, but I was not disappointed,... probably because I had no expectations. I love a good joke and I consider very few things to be off limits.

Taylor|5.7.06 @ 1:50PM|#

Remind me never to name my kids Armand, Luis or Angel.

|5.7.06 @ 4:07PM|#

I have wondered what some would say... maybe thoreau?

Hey thoreau, what say you about opinions based on empirical evidence, and them being the same as, say, the belief in mystic dwarfs?

super susan|5.7.06 @ 4:32PM|#

Well, hey-separation of church and state! I guess if he can't follow that, then he should be removed from his job.

|5.7.06 @ 9:15PM|#

Ken:

The plural of "dwarf" is "dwarves", not "dwarfs".

Even the mystical kind.

|5.7.06 @ 10:13PM|#

Mr Language Person,

Mr Tolkien would seem to disagree with you. And if you think you can match linguistic credentials with The Master, well, you must be Chuck Norris.

|5.7.06 @ 11:32PM|#

What it do

Meatwad|5.8.06 @ 12:17AM|#

Do what now?

|5.8.06 @ 12:23AM|#

What it do


LOL

* trademark annoying raucous laughter *

|5.8.06 @ 2:57AM|#

Florentino Floro seems rational. I move that he replace Ginsburger or Thomas.

Speaking of mystical beings, I'm waiting for V. Fox to cross the river and starting working. He'll probably get George's job@$8/hr.