Allah In Miss Jones

Tim Cavanaugh | April 1, 2006

Spam of the day, without comment:

YAA ALLAH

News Article:

Studio Set To Release Four Muslim Themed Films To A Worldwide Audience

Chatsworth—An independent studio in what is known as the "San Pornando Valley" has announced the completion and imminent worldwide distribution of four Muslim themed adult films.

Although some insiders are calling producer Martin Klaus' direction, the "money shot of an untapped market," the filmmaker insists this is not the usual money motivated smut peddling but instead a serious project of international diplomacy and promotion of world peace.

In a recent interview, Mr. Klaus theorized of an inversely proportional relationship between sexual repression and the maintenance of a peaceful disposition. He explains:

"Sexually active men have much better, and more positive, things to do than hack off heads, blow people up, and generally try to (expletive) things up.

If Muslim men would take off the dresses and bomb belts, rip the veils and panties off their women, then take a little dip in the Zamzam, the world would be a more peaceful place."

The four films ready for release are:

Hardcore Islam

- A love story.

Spring Break In Mecca

- Adventures of three homosexuals all named Mohammed.

Islam Rated XXX

- Brutal graphic violence, explicit deviant sex: A religious documentary.

Medina Ghetto Hoochie Mama

- Nubian street walker and the Muslims who love her

Comments

|4.1.06 @ 11:38AM|#

This is the best news article in the history of the planet. Excellent, excellent, excellent.

The game is on now, to think of the best title of a muslim porno:

Suicide Hummer

Bend Over and Face Mecca

Drilling For Sweet Oil

|4.1.06 @ 11:48AM|#

Hold on while I add Martin Klaus to my dead pool.

|4.1.06 @ 11:50AM|#

Watch out, this could result in another MOE - Muslim Offence Emergency.

I can almost feel the fatwa�the swish of the scimitar, the pungent smell of peroxide�time for some spontaneous capitulation and pre-emptive Stockholm syndrome.

|4.1.06 @ 11:57AM|#

Happy April Fool's Day! ;-)

damaged justice|4.1.06 @ 11:57AM|#

I've been saying since before 9/11 that anyone who can set up a high quality hardcore porn site with Muslim women, costumes and imagery stands to make an absolute financial killing.

|4.1.06 @ 12:17PM|#

Yesssss! has it. But he missed the best porn title of them all:

Welcome to Paradise: 72 Virgins #17

Thomas Paine's Goiter|4.1.06 @ 12:23PM|#

- Adventures of three homosexuals all named Mohammed.

Brilliant

Roger Wellor|4.1.06 @ 12:34PM|#

I think Doc put his (so to speak) finger on it...

A nice April Fools Day gag...

|4.1.06 @ 12:40PM|#

"Martin Klaus" is an anagram for "April Fools."

|4.1.06 @ 12:41PM|#

April fools.

|4.1.06 @ 12:45PM|#

Jerka On My Burka

Abu Ghraib Nights 5

|4.1.06 @ 1:01PM|#

A Google search didn't find any copies of this story. Maybe an April Fools?

|4.1.06 @ 1:07PM|#

Other titles:

Mo and His Hos

Woman, You Meccan Me Crazy

Camel-lot

You Can't *Eat* Pigs, But You Can Screw 'Em!

A Sheep Under One Arm and a Goat Under the Other: A Bisexual Romance

Harem Today, Gone Tomorrow

|4.1.06 @ 1:33PM|#

I don't care if it is an April Fool's Day prank--if somebody isn't already doing it, somebody soon will.

In my mind's eye, I can see a clip of the President on Fox News, even now! ...He's goin' big in support of a gay porno featuring the Prophet. ...This is gonna be great!

...It's The Meaning of Life in a parallel universe. "We can make gay porn with Mohammed in it if we want to--that's what Democracy's all about!"

b-psycho|4.1.06 @ 3:26PM|#

Soemone could do a hardcore take-off of the Blacks-on-Blonds thing & do one of muslims on jews. Call it somethin' like "BackDoor Jihad".

|4.1.06 @ 4:45PM|#

"a little dip in the Zamzam"?
So, when the Wizard of Id is doing an incantation, saying "Frimmin' on the jimjam," etc., is he insulting Allah?

Whatever.
Even Herrick and his Balls want to take a swan dive into the limpid pool of Zamzam!

|4.1.06 @ 6:02PM|#

Happy April Fools Day!!

Seriously, since strict Muslim women can't even show their hair in public, it seems like hard core porn for their consumption doesn't even have to involve removing clothing below the shoulders. Just make videos of good looking Europeans getting their hair done.

|4.1.06 @ 7:04PM|#

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|4.1.06 @ 7:57PM|#

She's Going Allah the Way

Moor Hardcore Than You

Burka Babes Unveiled

Okay, those were stupid, but the good ones were already taken.

|4.1.06 @ 8:08PM|#

I move that we change the name of Hit and Run to "Little Dip in the Zamzam."

|4.1.06 @ 8:15PM|#

I move that we change the name of Hit and Run to "Little Dip in the Zamzam."

I second Ruthless' motion.

uncle sam|4.2.06 @ 12:04PM|#

Arabian Thighs

sequel: Camel-lot: Two Humps are Better Than One

|4.2.06 @ 12:16PM|#

What a bunch of crap!

brian423|4.2.06 @ 3:29PM|#

Playgoy: Entertainment for Men (Except Filthy Jewish Men)

uncle sam|4.2.06 @ 3:48PM|#

ooh, ooh
Arabian Tights

|4.2.06 @ 11:18PM|#

Too bad it's a 4-1-fool joke; Mullahs vs Mafiosi would be an interesting event.

"Whacha callit? A Fat what? A fatwa? They can't take out a contract on the Don. Get a cuppla soldiers over there and plant a big one under his Mercedes."