Tim Cavanaugh | March 7, 2006
Definitely worth watching, even better than the Top 100 Chuck Norris Facts, though the UK location slightly breaks the illusion.
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I don't give a damn about the Simpsons, so I might as well come
up with a few CN facts, to wit:
1. Chuck Norris does not believe in God. God believes in Chuck
Norris.*
2. If you go to the exact middle of the Sahara Desert, you will see
a sign. That sign will say �Chuck Norris farted here.�
3. If you go to the northernmost point of the Grand Canyon, you
will see a sign. That sign will say �Chuck Norris urinated
here.�
4. If you sail to the exact middle of the mouth of the Amazon
River, you will see a sign (a floating sign). That sign will say
�Four thousand miles upstream, Chuck Norris is taking a
piss.�
5. Reality bites, but only because Chuck Norris told it to.
6. The dinosaurs did not die out because of a meteorite. They died
out because Chuck Norris got tired of their sass.
7. Chuck Norris has never won an Academy Award, because Academy
Awards are for acting. Chuck Norris does not act. Chuck Norris
is.
8. The stars in the �P� on the cover of Playboy do not indicate the
number of times Hugh Hefner has had sex with the playmate. They
indicate the number of orgasms the playmate has upon hearing
Chuck�s name.
9. Chuck Norris does not speak. His (one) facial expression
intimidates people into guessing (correctly) his thoughts.
10. Chuck Norris does not give autographs. He does, however, take
names.
*Surely this has been said of some southern football coach?
ZZzz.
Give it a rest with the Chuck Norris. It had its five seconds of
fame.
The live action Simpsons is way better. It didn't give me gay.
Theory:
Chuck Norris and Gary Busey are both of Irish and Cherokee descent.
They're both from the southwest US. I believe they may be distant
cousins.
The best thing you can say about Chuck Norris, is that he isn't
Jean-Claud Van Damme.
Hooray for live-action Simpsons
"Chuck Norris and Gary Busey are both of Irish and Cherokee
descent. They're both from the southwest US. I believe they may be
distant cousins."
Except that Chuck Norris doesn't play someone in a Turkish movie
who removes organs from Iraqi POWS without anaesthetic -- he does
that for a hobby!
In that clip, Homer drives a Lada Riva. Quite fitting.
She'll go 300 hectares on a single tank of kerosene. Put it in
H!
The best thing you can say about Chuck Norris, is that he
isn't Jean-Claud Van Damme.
My Bunny Hun is in love with Chuck Norris. Should I kick his ass or
kick her ass?
"She'll go 300 hectares on a single tank of kerosene."
Isn't a hectare a measure of area rather than distance?
I got gay watching "Fried Green Tomatoes" and listening to old Chet Baker recordings.
That live action intro is pretty amusing. I like the fact Homer is driving a Lada.
She'll go 300 hectares on a single tank of kerosene. Put it
in H! -Dave Straub
Isn't a hectare a measure of area rather than distance?
-SR
Yeah. But the mistake is in the original quote...
http://www.snpp.com/episodes/9F07
I'm sure the manual will indicate which lever is the velocitator
and which the deceleratrix...
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