New at Reason

Tim Cavanaugh | March 2, 2006

Nick Gillespie reviews Why Mommy Is A Democrat and Help! Mom! There Are Liberals Under My Bed!, and finds out they're even worse than their titles would indicate.

Comments

|3.2.06 @ 3:31PM|#

It's books like these that make one wonder whether Gaius is right...

|3.2.06 @ 3:32PM|#

I have to admit, Help! Mom! There Are Liberals Under My Bed! sounds like it totally nails my main arguments with liberals. That said, are kids really going to read this kind of garbage anyway?

|3.2.06 @ 3:37PM|#

Smalls,

Problem is, that book is apt to confuse the hell out of kids---especially when they grow older and come to find out that modern-day Republicans do the exact same things.

"Mommy! Um, the picture book said that 'liberals' do all those mean things, but...Mr. Republican over there is doing it too. Does that make HIM a liberal too?"

|3.2.06 @ 3:41PM|#

Could you imagine something like this being put out by the Libertarian establishment? I could see it being much more cheesy. Anyone read, say, the Advocates for Liberty newsletter lately? I got it today, and they almost shit their pants because the cartoon duck, 'Mallard Fillmore', called himself a libertarian in a strip. They do this little giddy dance everytime anyone so much as mentions the word "libertarian". Yes, a hip bunch they are.

Gimme Back My Dog|3.2.06 @ 3:44PM|#

Except for the Jesus part, the second book sounds a lot like an Ayn Rand novel.

|3.2.06 @ 3:46PM|#

I'm glad to see that political strategists are targeting the crucial 4-8 year old voting bloc.

How long before somebody writes "The Free and Furry Ferret"?

Larry A|3.2.06 @ 3:51PM|#

I say buy your kids and grandkids both books. Then tell them, "These are written by the same people who make all the angry political ads that make your Daddy turn purple and your Mom clap her hands over your ears so you can't hear what naughty words your Daddy is saying."

|3.2.06 @ 4:00PM|#

Before they do, they have a nightmare in which they become small business owners in "a very strange place called Liberaland." Once the boys' lemonade business is booming, "Mayor Leach" (get it?) comes around and squeezes them with a 50 percent tax. Next up is "Mr. Fussman" of the "Liberaland Civil Liberties Union" (haw haw haw!), who is offended by the picture of Jesus the brothers hang on their stand and demands they replace with it a picture of a big toe. Before you know it, a Hillaryesque "Congresswoman Clunkton" is demanding the boys force broccoli on all customers, and so on, until at last the lemonade stand is seized by the state and run into the ground.

But this isn't a dream, it's true. So if you're gonna give something to your kid ... Anyone here remember Kelo?

|3.2.06 @ 4:03PM|#

"Forget for the moment that today's kids will live longer and richer lives (the bastards). And that they face a future overstuffed with options when it comes to education, work arrangements, and lifestyle choices."

Tim, what have you been ingesting? Longer & richer lives?
Longer, maybe
Richer, not in the police state, especially the kind our country is creating.

future overstuffed with options?
if those options have to do with Dubai Ports World, or the Carlyle Group, otherwise, I think you are screwed.

education, work arrangements, & lifestyle choices?
education, I agree with you on that.
work arrangements: what are you talking about?
Lifestyle choices:I think unless you have a big trust fund, you should not have a lifestyle, only a life.

I think the utopia you dream of pretty much ended after Nixon, & the first oil shock, & especially after reagun started his drug war, & chipping away , at freedom, privacy, our dollar's worth(and the citenzry tolerating said insults) & cullminating in the debacle of deficit spending 43 has embraced.

|3.2.06 @ 4:06PM|#

Mewsifer:

"But this isn't a dream, it's true. So if you're gonna give something to your kid"

Yes, it's "true"---the problem is, the book incorrectly claims that all of these dastardly deeds are only attributable to "liberals". In reality, libs AND cons take part in this shite. I'd have no problem with the book (other than its inherent stupidity and squareness) if it indicted both liberals and conservatives on these points.

|3.2.06 @ 4:20PM|#

the problem is, the book incorrectly claims that all of these dastardly deeds are only attributable to "liberals". In reality, libs AND cons take part in this shite.

Actually, I disagree with you, but it's really a matter of semantics. *Real* conservatives (not to be confused with Republicans) i.e. people who actually believe conservative philosophy don't do these dastardly deeds.

On the other hand, Liberal political philosophy leads directly to these problems. So it's an accurate, fair statement for the book to make.

GWB, for example, is (inadvertently no doubt) a closet liberal when he makes a Federal prescription drug problem ("Mommy makes sure we all get our meds"). Nixon follows liberalism with wage/price controls.

So these two are Republicans perhaps claiming to be conservative but ruling as Liberals.

It's valuable to be able to spot Liberals even when they say they're conservatives.

|3.2.06 @ 4:21PM|#

In 1972, when I was 9, I had a classmate who was a big Spiro Agnew fan. I kid you not. He actually had an Agnew poster over his bed.

|3.2.06 @ 4:29PM|#

But this isn't a dream, it's true.

These things are no more "true" than the ridiculous hyperbole put forth by the squirrel book. Sheesh, some of you need to take your blinders off and come back to reality. The last time I checked, the tax rate was NOT 50%, private businesses CAN hang pics of Jesus on their walls, the government is NOT forcing anyone to eat or not eat anything, and there ARE thousands (millions?) of thriving businesses everywhere.

|3.2.06 @ 4:41PM|#

Phooey. Even if both books suck, I lean toward the one that demonizes liberal oppression of the lemonade stand. At least it doesn't appear to claim that Republican = DoublePlusGood.

Economic Conservative = DoublePlusGood is close enough for a children's book.

"Democrats make sure we are nice to people who are different, just like Mommy does,"

Well, that just makes me laugh.

brian423|3.2.06 @ 4:41PM|#

Nick Gillespie's "haw haw haw!" reminds me of the dialogue in a Jack T. Chick religious tract. But these two books can only aspire to Chick's level of sophistication.

|3.2.06 @ 5:07PM|#

My 9 year-old kid's class are doing a mock second continental congress wherein the kids get to play a character.My daughter gets to be Ben Franklin.
She has been reading books and learning about some of the things that the founders believed in. It all makes me smile. I'm hoping that the kids get an idea of what is important before they even learn the terms "Republican" or "Democrat". Our founding fathers are a good start.

|3.2.06 @ 5:17PM|#

*Real* conservatives (not to be confused with Republicans)

Isn't that sorta like communists saying that *real* communists (not to be confused with Soviets) don't ...

Timothy|3.2.06 @ 5:27PM|#

Mo: Good call.

|3.2.06 @ 5:31PM|#

Isn't that sorta like communists saying that *real* communists (not to be confused with Soviets) don't ...

Or like John Kerry saying that the Patriot Act was a good law, but the problem was John Ashcroft?

I don't think so. My first reason would be that communists are wrong, Soviet or otherwise. They say "if only we hadn't had Stalin ..." but their system produces Stalins - it did all over the world. What they don't reealize is that it more-or-less has to.

If your ideas rely on a good guy in government, you're doomed.

|3.2.06 @ 5:44PM|#

So I clicked on the Amazon link for "Mom There's Liberals..." and the first thing that strikes me is that the book's main font is Comic Sans

Now, I can understand wanting to use a kid-esque font for a children's book, but if you're not going to put any more effort into the typography than to look at what came with your copy of Windows XP, you probably shouldn't be allowed near children.

It just smacks of a slovenly outlook and lazy attitude that only serves to reinforce the propagandist "easy answer" outlook of the author.

|3.2.06 @ 5:45PM|#

I think my point is this: you have to separate a political philosophy from people and parties who claim to represent it.

If Republican = conservative, neither word has any meaning beyond whatever the current politician is doing.

What does libertarian mean if it's the same thing as Libertarian?

I think mk's point about the founding fathers is good because Rep/Dem means nothing in the late 1700's so you're forced to think of ideas denatured from modern party politics.

Modern liberalism is a statist, government centered philosophy; does anyone here dispute that?

When we're angry at GOP neocons for whatever statist morality kick they're on, do we not remember what Irving Kristol himself said: "A neconservative is a liberal mugged by reality" ?

Jeff P.|3.2.06 @ 5:55PM|#

First off, has anyone photoshopped the dialog on these yet?

Secondly, Where's "Why Your Friends' Parents Are Insane," explaining that voting for either "legitimate" party is a psychological disorder.

I, for one, will purchase both books, open them, shit in them, photograph the act, and send the photos to the RNC and DNC. That'll get a shootin' war going...

|3.2.06 @ 6:03PM|#

I'll repeat what I posted on the thread originally dealing with the Demo squirrel: I wouldn't buy either of these books if it was the only way to preserve the English language after the apocalypse.

The only political information a child under the age of 9 or so should be able to identify is the name of the country, state, city, and George Washington. Beyond that, read "Goodnight, Moon." If you're more than a decade away from voting, you don't need to worry about political affiliation. I, for one, do not want to see "liberal!" or "Republican!" replace "poopyhead" as the favored playground insult.

Finally, swingsets costs over $1,000 these days. What did those boys put in the lemonade to raise that kind of dough?

|3.2.06 @ 6:05PM|#

"I, for one, will purchase both books, open them, shit in them, photograph the act, and send the photos to the RNC and DNC. That'll get a shootin' war going..."

Only do this if you promise to blog the act and the resulting fallout.

|3.2.06 @ 6:06PM|#

I found it interesting that the pro-Dem book came right out with the Mommy=government proposition. Amazing. There really are people who want a nanny state.

Timothy|3.2.06 @ 6:08PM|#

Jeff P.: Only if the return addresses are Nancy Pelosi and Tom Delay, respectively.

|3.2.06 @ 6:22PM|#

Mediageek,
Only do this if you promise to blog the act and the resulting fallout.

Did you miss the fact that blogs are dead?

Liberal Statism:
(Modern)Liberal ideology is no more statist than classical Communist ideology. The basic idea is that the people/society as a whole should (want to) contribute to the society as a whole. Of course, you factor in little things like human nature and the dissagreement of what constitutes "contribution" and it becomes abundantly clear that the only way for those who wish for society to "contribute" more than they do is to force them via government coercion. The philosophy is great, but only on paper.

|3.2.06 @ 6:36PM|#

"and the first thing that strikes me is that the book's main font is Comic Sans"

What the heck is that website for, mediageek?

|3.2.06 @ 7:19PM|#

I don't suppose the author of Help! Mom! There Are Liberals Under My Bed! realizes that the book's title derides the fear and paranoia of far-right nutcases.

God, how I have come to hate politics...

|3.2.06 @ 7:32PM|#

linguist-

Yep, Mommy's the Democrat. It's often said that the Dems are the "Mommy Party" and the Republicans are the "Daddy Party."

I said once, and I'll say again, that more accurate labels would be the "Nanny Party" and the "Daddy, Please Stop Drinking Party."

|3.2.06 @ 9:09PM|#

Modern liberalism is a statist, government centered philosophy; does anyone here dispute that?

I don't think I dispute it, but it seems too simple to me. I have very liberal social philosophies that involve less government. Traditionally, conservatives have held social philosphies that require more government. I often think that as most people who identify themselves as either "liberal" or "conservative" are neither entirely, the labels have become fairly meaningless.

|3.2.06 @ 10:10PM|#

The best thing about Liberals and Conservatives is that they aren't full-blown populists. There is no worse creature of American politics than a populist.

|3.2.06 @ 10:12PM|#

I wouldn't buy either of these books if it was the only way to preserve the English language after the apocalypse.

Not sure if someone else paraphrased Comic Book Guy previously, but... Best line ever

|3.2.06 @ 10:17PM|#

"What the heck is that website for, mediageek?"

Ooops. Evidently I typed an extra "dub" in the dub-dub-dub.

Link should go to ban comic sans

|3.3.06 @ 12:48AM|#

"Did you miss the fact that blogs are dead?"

And you don't think that if Jeff were to blog what he said he'd like to do it wouldn't be supply just the shock needed to bring the blogosphere back from the dead?

:-p

|3.3.06 @ 4:01AM|#

camus,

education, I agree with you on that.

You mean, all that government run education? The stuff that's designed to produce the Republocratic Reptiles of the future?

|3.3.06 @ 7:47AM|#

"What did those boys put in the lemonade to raise that kind of dough?"

Now, there's your libertarian kid's book - Tommy and Lou's "Special" Lemonade Stand

|3.3.06 @ 9:37AM|#

Finally, swingsets costs over $1,000 these days.

They weren't that expensive before the evil liberal trial attorneys drove up the manufacturers costs with product liability lawsuits. :)

David|3.3.06 @ 10:09AM|#

The only political information a child under the age of 9 or so should be able to identify is the name of the country, state, city, and George Washington. Beyond that, read "Goodnight, Moon." If you're more than a decade away from voting, you don't need to worry about political affiliation. I, for one, do not want to see "liberal!" or "Republican!" replace "poopyhead" as the favored playground insult.

What she said.

|3.3.06 @ 11:57AM|#

Tommy and Lou's "Special" Lemonade Stand

I got to get me a copy.

|3.3.06 @ 12:02PM|#

From way back,

"To me the start of a solution is to educate the population to realize that liberalism is fundamentally an error. Don't ask the government to do things for you that you can do better yourself."

The problem is defining which things you can do better for yourself and which things are better handled by the society as a whole through cooperation. It is simplistic in the extreme to claim that liberalism is fundamentally in error when you don't understand it as anything more than a cartoon image that opposes your simplistic take on government. If I said liberalism or libertarianism are just as fundamentally flawed as any other political philosophy. That's why it is important to have a systematic way to allow for multiple views to interact (usually called democracy). The trick is to have the wacko libertarians help us to curb the urge to use force when it is not necessary, and teh wacko populists remind us when there are problems that impact the community in ways that require cooperation to be solved.

If you start with the assumption that another point of view is fundamentally flawed, you will never take the time to appreciate why reasonable people believe differently than you.

|3.3.06 @ 12:04PM|#

erratz,
stike that "If I said"

|3.5.06 @ 1:49AM|#

If kids really are increasingly under a form of societal lockdown these days, there is something truly depressing about stealing from them the few minutes they have to themselves to sermonize on politics. In an America in which party affiliations are for self-evident reasons growing ever weaker and in which life expectancy at birth is now close to 78 years and climbing, there will be plenty of time for kids to learn exactly why they hate the Tom DeLays, Nancy Pelosis, Bill Frists, and Harry Reids of the world. Why rob them of one of the great and continuing joys of adulthood?

ROFLMAO!!

So, I finally get a (small) concession from the folks who were trying to tell us we're freer today then we were in 1972 (are you out there lurking, Matt Welch?).

Yep, little Johnny may not have a minute to himself, he may have to be dressed up like a quarterback to jump on his bicycle and ride around the block, and he may be getting himself indoctrinated in what little spare time he might have left...

... but dammit! at least when he grows up, he'll be able to get an abortion or go to a gay bar (as long as he doesn't smoke while he's there)!

Now that's real freedom, I tell ya!