Cleaning Out Our Closets

Brian Doherty | January 18, 2006

In another world and under another identity, Reason's editor-in-chief Nick Gillespie and I used to write for a fondly remembered web site called Suck.com. One of our little jeu d'esprit's done for the site involved predicting the swift self-neutering of the former bad influence Eminem aka Slim Shady aka Marshall Mathers aka that really boring guy who used to produce inexcusably fun music.

Viewers (and I sympathize with each and every one of you) of Eminem's video for his latest sententious, tedious serioso tearjerker--what did youthful hellions ever see in this guy?--"When I'm Gone" will recognize this scene, hideously envisioned by Nick and I with the brilliant cartooning skills of Terry Colon well nigh five years ago. Don't ask us to play Criswell again--the knowledge we hold is too hideous to be freely shared.

Comments

|1.18.06 @ 2:59PM|#

The "Congressman Mathers" cartoon was especially funny.

Eminem peaked with 8 Mile and "Lose Yourself."

|1.18.06 @ 3:03PM|#

When Mather's becomes a Senator we are going to have Hitler look-a-likes as well?

I do not see how that reinforces the other point, but I guess that is me.

Would Mathers be a Dem, Rep, or a rep for the LP, in a effort to provide candidates with more voter appeal?

|1.18.06 @ 3:11PM|#

"...a certain transmogrification from hate-filled, anxiety-inducing bad boy to lovable, 100 percent safe pop dreamboat..."

Classic.

|1.18.06 @ 3:42PM|#

The plural of jeu d'esprit is jeux d'esprit.

"envisioned by Nick and I"? Try "me."

"over well nigh five years ago"? Well, was it more than five, or nearly five? You can't have both.

Us youths of America deserve better.

|1.18.06 @ 3:42PM|#

I think Slim Shady is the Eminem alter-ego most likely to run for office (on the Guns & Dope Party ticket?). I bet his filibusters would be SRO...

Ken Layne|1.18.06 @ 3:57PM|#

"Sir Shits-a-Lot" is pretty fucking brilliant.

Gawd, was Eminem ever really considered some scary thing? Seems like for as long as I can remember, he was Mr. Hard-Working Guy who only went looney about his former-ex-current wife.

I just keep seeing images of him playing piano & singing love songs with Elton John or something ... what was that about? Wasn't that five or six years ago?

Johno|1.18.06 @ 4:20PM|#

Ken, yeah, that was at some award show - the MTV VMAs?- doing the classic anti-pedophilia song "Don't Let Your Son Go Down On Me."