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Julian Sanchez | September 12, 2005

Jacob Sullum prowls the pubs of Montmartre looking for truth behind the hype around absinthe.

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|9.12.05 @ 10:29AM|#

Wilde "liked the idea of absinthe more than the drink itself."

When I first arrived in England, I was determined to enjoy this vice to the fullest. Most pubs don't serve it, but I finally found one that did. They even added to the mystique by refusing to sell more than three drinks to a person. Ooooh!

I can report that it tastes far worse than mouthwash, but it does save one time getting drunk. And by "drunk," I mean just that. Drunk is all you get. It looks pretty, though.

keith|9.12.05 @ 10:42AM|#

Ahh, that Czech "absinthe" is an endless irritant to me, though at the same time I suppose I appreciate what it does -- which is serve as an easy warning marker for people who don't know what they're talking about. As an avid absinthe collector and drinker, I can hardly count the number of times someone has come up to me and described their "crazy" excursion into that dreadful Hill's stuff.

Their reaction to Hills and other Czech slop reminds me of a kid I knew in high school who was desperate to be a stoner, but had no idea where to get pot. we used to pick anything -- blades of grass from the front lawn, most of the time -- roll it up, and give it to him, telling him it was pot. He'd smoke it up, then sit around for half an hour talking about how stoned he was.

There are, however, many very good brands of absinthe floating around today. "Alert drunkeness" is the most common effect, but one or two labels really made me see strange things. But boy howdy does the shipping price kill us Americans!

-Keith

|9.12.05 @ 10:58AM|#

Keith

Nice to hear of a real fan. I've always thought the best thing about absinthe--other than its reputation--is the whole production involved in drinking it. Sadly, on the occasions in which I was able to partake, the barmen did not know what I was talking about, so I only got shots of the dark green motor oil--no sugar, no little screen over the drink, no magical transformation to emerald green. That always looked fun in the movies. Do you drink it in that wonderfully Hollywood way?

|9.12.05 @ 11:14AM|#

As a vinter and maker of cordials (small quantities for personal use) I had attempted at one point to replicate the flavors of absinthe. Without legal ability to distill the resultant mixture (or the spare cash to build a still), the woody flavor of the anise far overpowered just about anything else in the drink. I finally came up with an anise / wormwood blend that, while tasting not a danged thing like absinthe, was quite palatible. Owing to the homegrown nature of the wormwood I used; the bitterness was quite pronounced.

In order to ingest enough thujone to illicit anything other than "clear headedness" you would have to be insane enough already to drink down the bitter brew. I suppose you could attempt to distill / extract out the thujone to increase effect, but as I understand it, the Artemesia Absinthium (Wormwood) was only added to the original product, after the initial distillation, as a bittering agent and colorant.

rimone|9.12.05 @ 11:20AM|#

having no idea i could have it shipped to the states, i waited until we were over here to try it. i dig the lucid kind of 'drunk' i get ('un emile' Pontarlier, from France).

|9.12.05 @ 11:24AM|#

JMoore,
If you are just looking for the effect, here in the US you can obtain Pernod. It is a wormwood free variation made by Pernod Fils, the originator of Absinthe. While you won't get the wormwood attributes the other dissolved oils will "louch" out when poured into a glass of cold water. Quite dramatic it is. You can still find modern absinthe glasses and "spoons" but vintage ones can also be found on eBay. Enjoy!!

|9.12.05 @ 11:24AM|#

I actually read this article in the print version whilst on a plane to Prague, which I considered a form of synchronicity. Naturally, I just *had* to try the absinthe while I was there. Verdict: true, it tastes like mouthwash. And I don't know if it was just the booze but I got really weepy, telling my companions they were the most wonderful people ever and I was having the most wonderful week of my entire life. Since I am never a weepy drunk, and felt quite embarassed the next day, I am going to blame the thujone. Don't let your facts deter me!

|9.12.05 @ 11:28AM|#

I read a nice piece on absinthe a few months ago by someone who sounded like an absinthe fan, at least in theory.

|9.12.05 @ 11:33AM|#

This is a really fascinating topic to me, one which others (including Jacob, I think) have covered before: how much of the effect of absinthe and other drugs is due to what the user expects? Are you experiencing "clear-headed drunkeness" because you really are, or because it's what you think absinthe does?

The question always reminds me of aphrodisiacs. People swear certain substances (balot, rhino horn, whatever) work; and of course they do, because users believe they do.

I remember once seeing an experiment done to some college kids in which they were given a huge party with all the free beer they could drink. Predictably, they binged and got seriously blotto; several got sick and puked their guts out. The beer was non-alcoholic.

|9.12.05 @ 11:35AM|#

Thanks, Kwix!

I think even absinthe haters will have to admit that the presentation really is fun. Like sushi, you may not like it, but it sure does look pretty.

|9.12.05 @ 11:40AM|#

Since I enjoy a pastis every now and then, I decided to try a French absinthe. I didn't expect anything to happen (except for incipient drunkeness), but I certainly felt, hmm, odd for the rest of the evening. Luckily, there was a case of cold beer nearby to help take the edge off.

|9.12.05 @ 11:53AM|#

Yeah...the entire production of drinking absinthe accounts for its popularity. Much like rolling a joint, cutting up lines, or heating up a spoon (for you hardcore freaks), making absinthe draws attention to you and gives you the impression of creating something. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to tighten the belt around my arm or I'll NEVER find a usable vein.

Oh...and we did a similar experiment in college on the first weekend of the year. We gave all of the freshmen who came in blue cups which allowed them to get beer from the special keg (which was non-alcoholic). Needless to say there were a lot of "wasted" freshmen puking their guts out and acting like asses. Then my roommates would use their giant maglite flashlights to act as undercover cops, catch the kids, and pretend to arrest them for underage consumption. I've never seen so many 18 year olds who thought they were drunk burst into tears. One kid said "My parents are going to KILL me!", and when we told him what happened he ran away crying.

|9.12.05 @ 11:53AM|#

I have an absinthe I obtained from Germany a couple of years ago and I can't bring myself to finish the bottle off. Containing the highest legal amount of thujone in the EU and being 140 proof, I can safely say it's effects are far more centered around expectation than reality.

In essence, it was really quite anti-climactic.

It isn't all bad, though; I found it to be a really nice drink to go with a light dessert after dinner.

|9.12.05 @ 11:55AM|#

telling my companions they were the most wonderful people ever and I was having the most wonderful week of my entire life

Maybe that was from the ecstasy someone slipped in your drink?

|9.12.05 @ 12:03PM|#

Anthony Bourdain, in the Paris episode of his new show No Reservations, does a bit on absinthe.

The apparatus and ritual of it looked entertaining. But I have to wonder, were it legal now in the US, would that ritual survive? There were rituals associated with opium smoking, too, but junkies just shoot up.

I'm imagining Bartles and Jaymes Absinthe Cooler, probably with a snappy name. Anise flavoring! Pre-sweetened! Pre-diluted! With artificial coloring agents!

|9.12.05 @ 12:17PM|#

I haven't seen Bourdain's new show so I don't know if he mentions this, but he once told me he found a 100 year old bottle of absinthe in the wine cellar of the C.I.A. I asked him what it was like and he said, "like mixing bourbon with MDA."

|9.12.05 @ 12:28PM|#

>>Maybe that was from the ecstasy someone slipped in your drink?

Those bastards!

|9.12.05 @ 12:32PM|#

I would like to try Absinthe.

But like kid that Keith talks about, I haven't the slightest idea where to get the stuff.

However, I'd like to think I'm dumb enough to just drink anything green and feel the "effect."

|9.12.05 @ 12:33PM|#

Er, that should read
I'd like to think I'm NOT dumb enough to just drink anything green and feel the "effect."

/set myself up, who wants to knock me down?

|9.12.05 @ 12:50PM|#

Like any drug it surely effects different people differently. It might also depend on when you drink, was it after a big meal or on an empty stomach. Were other alcholic beverages imbibed or not.

|9.12.05 @ 1:32PM|#

It was better the other way, mediageek. The one time I tried wormwood, just wormwood tea, it was truly the most vile thing I have tasted ever and will probably remain the worst since I have no desire to drink from a septic tank.

Actualy, I was looking into (inspecting) a septic tank at a slaughter house last Friday. Yeah, wormwood is just that vile. Don't think Ill try absinthe.

Matt Welch|9.12.05 @ 1:48PM|#

Not all Czech absinthe is/was fraudulent, I can testify from both personal and observational experience. Totally different drunk/buzz, like you're swimming through Robotussin or something (not that I know what *that* fees like) .... One glass would typically do nothing except taste bad; three could easily send you to a pretty different place.

|9.12.05 @ 1:53PM|#

I can report that it tastes far worse than mouthwash, but it does save one time getting drunk. And by "drunk," I mean just that. Drunk is all you get. It looks pretty, though.

It sounds like you can get similar effect from drinking Tarantula Tequila. Although I don't remember what color it is. There are a lot of things I don't remember from that night. Except that Tarantula Tequila tasted like Scope.

|9.12.05 @ 1:54PM|#

My own personal experience is that it also gives you a high probability of setting your tablecloth on fire.

|9.12.05 @ 1:57PM|#

I did some research, and apparently Tarantula Tequila looks like Scope too -- the blue kind. A kind of pretty blue with a hint of green. Peacock blue. Call it the poor man's absinthe.

|9.12.05 @ 2:11PM|#

I heard about some European customs cops who once confiscated an illegal bottle of absinthe that a guy tried to smuggle into some country or other. Of course, the customs officers were so curious, they had to try it themselves. They secretly got together, got much more drunk much more quickly than they expected, and ended up drinking the entire bottle.

When the accused smuggler came to trial, his attorney moved for dismisal because the evidence was gone. The prosecutor objected, "But we still have the clearly labeled bottle in which the contraband was transported!"

The judge dismissed the case, ruling that absence of evidence was not evidence of absinthe.

|9.12.05 @ 2:12PM|#

Hey, we needed at least one "absinthe" pun in this thread. One that didn't include the words "grow fonder."

|9.12.05 @ 2:19PM|#

Saw-whet,
You ever try horehound tea? That is umm, interestng to say the least. But when you pump enough sugar into it that it sets up firm, you get a nifty hard candy. Without the sugar, I would take wormwood over it any day. And for your tastebud's sake, don't try rue.

|9.12.05 @ 3:29PM|#

Lets say I sold a bottle of something 100 to 150 proof and the bottle is in the same case as some wormwood. On the case there are instructions on how to mix them which, if followed, would result in something like absinthe. Would that be legal?

They did stuff like that during prohibition. There was something called "Near Bear" which had an alcohol concentration just below what would be required for it to be considered legally alcoholic. On the label it gove detailed steps of "what the buyer should not do under any circumstances, because then he/she would have beer".

keith|9.12.05 @ 3:51PM|#

Hey Matt--

You're right about a couple Czech labels. As the drink continues to attract attention, a few distillers have come out with products hewing to the more authentic formula (I hear Bairnsfather is good), though 99% of the college students that come back from their summer trip to Prague with stories about drinking absinthe are still getting the junk. Even the infamous Hills started an offshoot label that produces a good brand called La Fee.

Thing is, much of the crap absinthe attempts to make up for the lack of being absinthe by jacking the alcoholic conent up to 80% or so. Green moonshine. One brand --Hapsburg Hardcore -- boasts 89% alcohol by volume! Thujone or not, that one is bound it make you...react. Or fall asleep.

There are a lot of places online where one can order from Europe and the UK (I recommend the continent, just because euro-to-US$ is less harsh than pound-to-dollar), though some of the best brands (Jade Liquors' Nouvelle Orleans for instance) ship only thorugh the UK. A German mail-order company called Alandia has a pretty good selection of both authentic and faux for sale.

As for the ritual -- yes, that's a big part of the fun. Getting people together to go through the whole thing is a good way to spend an evening, esp. if you have a couple people there who are nervous that it'll end up with them naked on the roof reciting Longfellow poems (sadly, this has yet to happen in my get-togethers). The "light it on fire" ritual is of more modern origin, though it can be a blast (har har). The traditional sugarcube on a spoon with water poured over it is the best way to go.

Import laws into the US are tricky, and any mail-order is always a bit of a craps shoot. However, in several years and several orders, I've never lost anything to customs, not even a relatively large order or seven bottles just last month.

|9.12.05 @ 3:59PM|#

But the DEA says that absinthe consumption is down by 60%, so obviously absinthe prohibition works!

ME - You can get wormwood extract in the US, although it usually comes with those wink-wink nudge-nudge "not for human consumption" warnings. Likewise for tonka beans, which are banned for food use in the US. (Because they contain a blood thinner. Like alcohol, aspirin, and a whole host of other legal things aren't blood thinners?) They, too, are available, for use in *ahem* "perfume" and "candles" and such

keith|9.12.05 @ 5:42PM|#

They, too, are available, for use in *ahem* "perfume" and "candles" and such.

That's like all those street vendors here in NYC that sell psychadelically-painted bongs "for tobacco use only." Or a diving knife labeled "Not for Use on Humans."

-K

|9.12.05 @ 7:30PM|#

I tried absinthe, and was not impressed. Plus, it tastes like black licorice, which I don't like. I drank about half a bottle, and wasn't really feeling much, except a little drunk. Course, I was doing other things, too, so maybe they were keeping the drunk away.

Tried Pernod, too. Same problem: tasted like black licorice and didn't get me as messed up as I was hoping.