If you've been trying to suss out John Roberts' positions on the country's most contentious issues, you're in luck. Even though he's managed to keep his opinions under wraps on almost every topic, his friends at the Committee for Justice, a group devoted to pushing Republican court nominees, claim to have them in handy talking-points form:

If confirmed, Roberts will benefit the country by not being a judicial activist:

* First and foremost, Roberts won't allow bureaucrats to seize ordinary people's private property.
* He won't redefine traditional marriage.
* He won't strike under God' from the Pledge of Allegiance.
* He won't force the Boy Scouts to hire openly homosexual Scoutmasters.
* He won't favor criminals' rights over victims' rights.
* He won't protect simulated child pornography on the Internet.
* He won't allow Congress to legislate in areas where the Constitution doesn't grant it authority.
* He won't ban the death penalty.
* He won't permit the politicians to regulate what we say about them at election time.
* He won't allow government to treat people differently because of their skin color.
* He won't hamstring the military and intelligence services in the War on Terror.
* He won't block school choice for kids trapped in failing schools.
* He won't eliminate the right to gun ownership.

They don't say how they discerned all this, but hey, they wouldn't put out a press release if it wasn't true. Alert the Senate!