Jeff Taylor | July 27, 2005
What do we think of the Nebraska AG who arrests a man for having sex with his wife? What if he is 22 and she is 14? What if he got her pregnant at 13 and, with her parents' consent, took her to Kansas for a legal marriage in that state?
Nebraska Attorney General Jon Bruning says he doesn't care about the law in Kansas, and that Matthew Koso, 22, is a pedophile.
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I have this really crazy, totally irrelevant question I just
have to get off my chest:
What does the girl think?
I'm with joe.
It's all well and good that the girl's parents and the laws of
Kansas are on board with this, but what about the girl
herself?
Now, one could debate whether she is mature enough to give informed
consent, yadda yadda, but at a bare minimum I'd like to know what
she thinks in this matter. Sort of seems relevant, ya know?
Well, in three years the girl can buy a copy of Grand Theft Auto, but will have to wait another four years to drink a beer.
The arrest concerns a rape before she was his wife, in the state of Nebraska, so the marriage in Kansas is irrelevant to the crime.
Sounds typical. Nebraskans always think they're better than everybody else.
Arthur--
Even assuming that such behavior will be a crime, will the
girl/victim benefit by the state putting her husband in jail? Will
ANYBODY be better off?
Jennifer,
The point is that such behavior is a crime; rule of law
and all that stuff...
Rich-
I only support laws that prevent Person A from hurting Person B.
Unless this girl was forcibly raped, the state has no business
getting involved.
Let's not go overboard, Jennifer. A 13 year old girl cannot give
meaningful consent to sex, and is extremely vulnerable to being
manipulated by an adult man. The guy's a piece of crap, she could
very well be trapped in an abusive situation, and the state should
absolutely be looking into this.
I think your sentiments function better as a cautionary note than
as a roadmap.
Joe, thats all well and good, but, She and her parents consented
to a marriage, yes yes after the pregnancy, but still. And he
wanted to marry her, which bodes well for his motives. And there's
been no talk of abuse.
This is definitely creepy, but given the circumstances, them
married and left alone is the best possible outcome.
But how can you say for sure, Joe? I'll admit there's a definite "ick" factor when thinking about a thirteen-year-old having sex--hell, I don't even like watching the little buggers hold hands at the mall--but for whatever reason, boys and girls these days are maturing a LOT earlier than they used to. How sane is it for the state to promote a policy which says that people can't legally have sex until years and years after reaching sexual maturity?
Seriously, I think libertarians should keep their hands off stuff like this. A guy in his twenties having sex with a 13-year old girl? This is not a liberty issue.
She was fucking 13 when he knocked her up and 14 when he took
her across state lines to marry! Who gives a fuck what she thinks
or what the parents think? The guy is a perv guilty of sex with a
minor and the parents are guilty of child abuse or at the very
least neglect. Putting her "husband" in jail couldn't possibly fuck
her up any worse than her parents already have. They should toss
them in the clink as well.
Jesus people.
No wonder no one ever takes us seriously as a political party.
Well, if the word "pedophile" actually means anything, then this is a crime. Marriage offers (and should be offered) no special constitutional protections -- apologies to shitbags like Rick Santorum -- and married people should not be treated any differently under the law than unmarried people.
boys and girls these days are maturing a LOT earlier than
they used to.
Only compared to the previous few generations in western
societies.
That aside, I wonder what sort of loser is dating 13 year olds at
22.
"She and her parents consented to a marriage, yes yes after the
pregnancy, but still."
I question how much "she" actually consented, or whether he parents
consented for her. At a minimum, this is one of the questions that
should be put to her.
"And he wanted to marry her, which bodes well for his motives." Or,
it demonstrates a desire to protect himself from prosecution.
"And there's been no talk of abuse." Well, there's the
22-year-old-guy-f*cking-a-little-girl thing.
Jennifer, I can't say for sure. That's why I suggested that the
investigators should talk to her.
"How sane is it for the state to promote a policy which says that
people can't legally have sex until years and years after reaching
sexual maturity?" I agree, to an extent. Seeing 19 year olds
arrested for having sex with their 17 year old girlfriends
infuriates me. But 22 and 13? That's just not right.
Heh. This reminds me a bit of the Argentinian law that says a
rapist can be freed if he marries his victim, no matter what the
child�s age.
But it's more like that story out of Alabama--which has marriage
laws similar to Kansas--where last year a father allowed his
14-year-old son to marry a 42-year-old woman, saying they could
always get divorced if it didn't work out.
Ok kids, time for the holier-than-thou on both sides to come
clean. 13 seems to be too young to make an informed decision. How
old were YOU the first time? Did it ruin you for life?
I was 16. I have a friend who was 12, another who was 13, and one
who was 14. All turned out ok.
Kids aren't as fragile as you'd like to think.
As it happens, I know a 21-year-old guy who is seeing a
13-year-old girl. Not my business, because I don't know that
anything "criminal" is going on, if you know what I mean, and I
think you do.
But here me now and believe be next week: SHE is the boss in that
relationship.
It's a bit funny, actually.
I agree with everybody but mostly with Joe. Seriously. This is
one of those cases where my libertarian instincts rub up against my
human (and maternal) instincts and much itching and chafing ensues.
A 21 year old guy sleeps with a 13 year old girl and her mom lets
them get married? Girls are certainly maturing physically
at a younger age than they used to, but that doesn't mean she has
the capacity to consent. What are the chances this is an old
fashioned (in every sense of the word) romance rather than a case
of white trash sexual abuse? And the fact that the guy has no
listed phone number sort of clinches it. Can we say trailor?
Ok, I'm judging. Back to remedial libertarianism for me.
"hear" me now... it's actually way too early in the morning for me... relatively speaking
I was 16. I have a friend who was 12, another who was 13,
and one who was 14. All turned out ok.
All pregnant and married at those tender ages?
What were the ages of their first partners, seems like the more important question.
"And the fact that the guy has no listed phone number sort of
clinches it."
Maybe, like a lot of people I know, he turned off his land line and
just uses a cell. And cell numbers are typically unlisted. (Or he
could just have an unlisted number.)
My grandmothers were married at 13 and 14 years of age and keeping house like women fully grown. The definition of "childhood" is more or less arbitrary, and treating adolescents as children is pretty sick in itself.
I'm with Joe and Ralphus on this. This girl needs to be legally and physically separated from her "husband". It may seem pragmatic to just let them be, but if the law is to mean anything, then this dirtbag needs to go to jail.
I don't see where the state has any compelling interest in telling a sexually mature person, "You are not allowed to have sex. Or you can, but only with certain people WE decide are not off-limits."
I also think that the state should be looking into this situation. I don't see any argrument in favor for the man. This guy should have charges brought on him, and let the courts handle it.
No wonder no one ever takes us seriously as a political
party.
Reason number 945,746?
I wish people would quit coming up with their own stupid reasons
why no one takes us seriously. Most libertarian positions are
currently highly unpopular. So foogin' what, that's hardly a reason
not to discuss them and say what you honestly think. Plus, ralphus,
who says "we" are a political party? Like many libertarians, I see
the LP as little more than a sideshow act.
Anyway, this issue raises a number of interesting and ambiguous
questions....
Not that I approve of their choices in this day and age, but my
grandmother married when she was 15. She married my grandfather who
was 25 at the time. They were married 65 years before he died. This
was fairly common from their part of the country.
I'm happy that we've come a long way to the point that we think
that this shouldn't be common or even rare. But to just write this
whole thing off without having more of the facts and without
hearing from the girl (without any possible parental pressure to
marry) is a kneee jerk reaction.
The problem with setting age limits to certain social behaviors is
that they are arbitrary and often don't make sense. As someone
pointed out above, marriage at 13, video games at 17 beer at 21.
They also don't take into account individual decisions and the
ability to make that decision. They are a nice guideline, but it
takes more work to find out if they apply to any given
situation.
wsdave,
The average age of loss of virginity in the U.S. is below age 17
and nearer to age 16. That this girl lost her virginity at age 13
isn't unusual.
Time to arrest Jerry Lee Lewis, I guess.
And Bill Wyman.
And Jimmy Page.
And Sergei Federov.
And a decent sized chuck of the male population of the US for most
of its history.
And a lot of assholes in the Bible that this dickhead Nebraska Ag
probably slobbers over.
Politcally correct moral outrage is fucking tiresome--leave these
people alone and get your own shit straight. They've probably
fucked up their lives,sure, but they are trying to do the "right
thing"--if they hadn't gotten married, the guy probably wouldn't
even be in trouble with this Nebraska crusading asshole.
Jennifer,
I might be able to accept expensive gifts from developers who need
permits from the boards I staff, and still do my damnedest to be
fair and resposible in my work.
But it stinks to high heaven, and it's not a circumstance any
decent person would put himself in. You just don't go there.
mk, I think there's the possibility that the 22 year old is a
decent, emotionally immature person, and that there is real love
and respect between the two of them. My points are 1) it isn't
right to just assume that and let him go on his merry way, and 2)
regardless, he should have waited, and there needs to be some legal
sanction to keep people from taking advantage of kids. At a
minimum, probation, counselling, and a DSS file.
joe,
Anymore circular logic out of you and I will have to slap you. Get
outside the box of your cultural mores and give me a reasoned
answer.
Joe, there's a difference between "You just don't go there" and "he's taking advantage of her." And seriously, what is the state's compelling interest in telling sexually mature people who they can and cannot have consensual sex with?
Jennifer,
"How do you KNOW he's taking advantage of her? Seriously." I don't,
but there is a strong possibility.
"boys and girls these days are maturing a LOT earlier than they
used to."
Now, I know she didn't actually "get" pregnant, but wasn't the
mother of Jesus, like, 13 when she gave birth? And SHE was already
married! (How old was poor cuckolded Joseph, anyway?)
Maybe any age scandal was buried under the sensationalism
surrounding the whole "king"/"son of God" brouhaha, but I don't
recall Mary's "maturity" ever being an issue.
B.D.,
Well, we live in a society where childhood has been stretched out
significantly. We, quite frankly, emasculate our children that way,
helping them to avoid responsibility, etc.
I think it is great that each state gets to set its own age for
marriage.
I think its great that ppl in the US can move to whatever state
heas the marriage laws that suit them best (if they care).
However, I think the individuals in this case did the marriage too
late to help them on any rape charges that apply to the pre-marital
contact.
Will be a *very* interesting federalism case where a 13 yo gets
married in Kansas first and only then starts to have sex in
Nebraska. In that case, I hope there is some kind of full faith and
credit / right to travel based defense, but I really don't
know.
I don't personally feel any moral outrage at 13 yo's getting
married and then having sex. If I were personally setting the law,
I would set the age higher, but this seems like an area where
reasonable people can differ. If Kansas really wants to keep giving
its 13 yo's autonomy to marry, then there should probably be at
least some procedural safeguards in place to make sure that consent
is real and informed when one or both of the affianced is esp
young.
joe,
I don't, but there is a strong possibility.
It wasn't just a "strong possibility" a few moments ago; it was an
absolute certainty.
Seriously, I think libertarians should keep their hands off
stuff like this. A guy in his twenties having sex with a 13-year
old girl? This is not a liberty issue.
This ranks right up there with the "corpse-fucking
libertarians" issue out in California.
I'm not for doing a whole lot "for the children," but it makes
perfect sense that, to avoid any type of "confusion" of this sort,
wherein parents may be complete and total creeps or idiots and a
child may be molested as a result, that the people of Nebraska
should be allowed to make laws regulating the behavioral
interactions of minors and adults.
If it were a seventeen year old girl, I'd argue that she should be
considered competent, but I'm not convinced a 13 year old or a 14
year old is competent, nor 15 or 16.
Haklyut, Jennifer, if you don't grasp on your own the conflicts
of interest here, the vulnerable position of the kid, and broad
social good that having something besides the conscience of the
predator to protect the prey, I don't think I'm going to be able to
convince you otherwise.
If I trade a six year old five shiny pennies for his $20 bill, I'm
a dirty thief. It doesn't matter if he agreed.
A 13 year old girl cannot give meaningful consent to sex,
and is extremely vulnerable to being manipulated by an adult
man.
Because it's so much better to be manipulated by the law and its
enforcers.
"How old was poor cuckolded Joseph, anyway?"
There's no way to know for sure, but if their betrothal followed
the usual pattern, abotu 15 or 16.
Hakluyt,
Well put. We agree on this.
I also will commit a tale of a friend of mine who once confided in
me that she lost her virginity at the age of 13 - to a teacher from
her school. When, at the time, I suggested outrage, that the
teacher was in a position of authority, that he took advantage of
her, yadda yadda, I'll never forget the backlash I got from her.
She made it very clear that it was her choice, that she pursued the
short affair, that she was happy with her choice, and that I was
being a paternalistic ass. I thought about it and concluded that
she was right. Who was I to define this experience for her?
"I was 16. I have a friend who was 12, another who was 13, and
one who was 14. All turned out ok."
Serafina: None pregnant or married, because even at those ages,
they were smart enough to take precautions.
Joe: The 16 was 17, the 12 was 13, the 13 was 34 and the 14 was 18.
But why does that matter? Either a 13 year old is mature enough to
decide or not, regardless of the age of the other party. Or are you
suggesting that it's ok for two 13 year olds but not if one of them
is 22, because a 13 year old is more mature around people her own
age?
Joe, in your money-changing example you're clearly scamming the
kid out of money. But in this sex thing, it's basically circular
logic. You're operating from the unproven assumption that having
sex is inherently bad, and since it's bad for people to have sex,
the state thus has an interest in regulating who is and is not
allowed to have it.
How do you even know it's "predator" and "prey?" If B.D.'s
grandparents fall into a time machine on their wedding day and
arrive in our society, should we arrest his grandfather for preying
on a young teenage girl?
My boyfriend is 8 years and 17 days older than I am. I assume you
don't have a problem with it since we're both well above the age of
legal adulthood, but how many years back in time do we have to go
before Jeff is magically transformed from "loving man" to "sick
predatory fuck?"
"What were the ages of their first partners, seems like the more
important question."
Really? How can it be that a 13-year-old girl has the capacity to
give meaningful consent to intercourse with another 13-year-old,
but not to give such consent to a 22-year-old?
Note the prosecutor's statements reflect joe's:
�The idea ... is repugnant to me,� said
Nebraska Attorney General Jon Bruning. �These people made the
decision to send their ... 14-year-old daughter to Kansas to marry
a pedophile.�
He said the marriage is valid, thanks to the �ridiculous�
Kansas law, �but it doesn�t matter. I�m not going to stand by while
a grown man ... has a relationship with a 13-year-old � now
14-year-old � girl.�
There is nothing in the article about abuse, etc.
wsdave, I'm suggesting that it's "ok" for two 13 year olds, but
not for a 13 year old and a 22 year old, because the 22 year old is
in a more powerful position to pressure and exploint the 13 year
old than another 13 year old.
Haklyut,
"It wasn't just a "strong possibility" a few moments ago; it was an
absolute certainty."
Look up "bribery." Look up "conflict of interest." Cross-apply the
reasoning. The "conflict of interest" is an absolute certainty. The
"bribery" is a strong possibility.
If a Planning Board member is given a car by an applicant, and
votes to approve his plan, you dono't just assume that the two were
unrelated. You don't even adopt a neutral position on it - you toss
his ass off the board for conflict of interest, and investigate him
for bribery.
Jennifer,
To follow your line of reasoning, in all seriousness, what does
sexual maturity have to do with it?
"You're operating from the unproven assumption that having sex
is inherently bad,"
No, I'm operating from the assumption that sex without meaningful
consent is bad. Someone who penetrates a passed-out girl should be
prosecuted for rape, even if there are no physical injuries.
However, if she's awake and up for it, go for it.
joe,
Ooh, finally a reasoned approach to this issue that falls outside
absolutist truth claims based on cultural mores. Thanks. :)
...if you don't grasp on your own the conflicts of interest
here...
Hmm, there are conflicts of interest in almost every area of
life.
...the vulnerable position of the kid...
Based on the facts you don't know whether her particular position
is one of vulnerability.
...and broad social good that having something besides the
conscience of the predator to protect the prey...
This is a shrill argument from emotion, not reason.
Jennifer,
WTF? I mean, all your posts would apply equally if she were twelve
or eleven. How about eight? Would you still be saying what you're
saying if she was eight?
A guy in his 20's has sex with a 13-year-old girl. That is a crime
whatever else may be the case. He absolutely deserves a statutory
rape conviction. Although it nauseates me to say it, I find myself
in complete agreement with joe on this one.
Now you'll have to excuse me while I plunge the fingers that typed
that into hot coals...
Generally, I understand Jennifer, Hakluyt, et. al's positions,
but I don't think that the "Mary and Loretta Lynn and my aunt
Fannie did it" arguments are persuasive. Lots of things were done
regularly in the good old days that we now frown on (insert
outrageous examples here).
Specifically, I don't think Jimmy Page should ever be used as an
exhibit for the defense of a particular sexual practice or
lifestyle. Or Jerry Lee Lewis either.
And I doubt that the guy is using a cell phone. I have no reason
other than innate anti-white trash bigotry for assuming this, but
it's a bigotry born of long acquaintance with white trash both kin
and kith.
I'm operating from the assumption that sex without
meaningful consent is bad.
And also, presumably, that a 13-year-old cannot give meaningful
consent to anybody more than X years older than she.
Coach--
To follow your line of reasoning, in all seriousness, what does
sexual maturity have to do with it?
perhaps nothing; I'm wondering, though, why the STATE thinks it
shouldn't matter.
Jennifer,
After reading through this further and trying out my brain instead
of my initial knee-jerk reaction, I'm not sure where I stand on
this - sorry for my initial snarky reply.
To all those who want this man to go to jail--if the 13-year-old waits for her husband and returns to him when he's released, will you apologize for separating them for so long, or still insist that you did it for her own good?
joe,
The "conflict of interest" is an absolute certainty. The
"bribery" is a strong possibility.
Sorry, but this is laughable. You didn't mean anything like this in
your original comment. You made an absolute truth claim, and now
you are trying to twist it around as if you made some fantastic
insight. I am laughing my ass off at you. :)
HA HA HA HA!
Are there any children of the 60's here? How come you guys did
all that stupid stuff (free love, drugs, deranged music, etc.) back
then, turned out (more or less) in good shape, but want to
"protect" your children from the the same things?
Joe: You assume that 13 year olds don't have any more of an idea
about morals or values than a 6 year old (or a government
employee). I would suggest you spend some time getting to know a
few, but you'd probably think you we're a pedophile for doing
so.
Kids are a LOT smarter than you give them credit for. You were at
that age, why do you assume that they're not?
Again, we're talking about laws based on personal taste rather
than any actual reasoning.
You find a 22 yeard old guy with a 13 year old girl repugnant but
none of the parties involved, including the parents, do. So what
business is it of yours??
Joe,
I think there is a much bigger problem with older ppl (eg, 22)
pressuring younger ppl for sex.
I am not sure there is such a big systemic problem with older ppl
pressuring younger people to marry. Sure, I can find anecdoes or
make hypotheticals where there is undue pressure for marriage, but
this pressure may unpredictable and diffuse enough that I am not
willing to say that all, or even most, marriages involving 13 yo's
also involve some form of procedural unconscionability.
Maybe premarital sex should disqualify a 13 yo from getting
married. That would remove many of the unfair situations, while
still allowing responsible 13 yo's to enjoy responsible sex, and
other comforts of matrimony, responsibly.
jennifer,
Well, that and the poor kid's father might now receive a fifty year
sentence to boot. What was all this language about "broad social
goods?" :)
Rich Ard--
De nada.
Something funny, though, about the insistence that the 22-year-old
preyed on this young girl--when I was in school, any young girl who
scored with an older man would have achieved SERIOUS status points.
How do we know SHE wasn't being predatory toward him?
Seriously.
Russ D.,
You'd have to come up with some data which demonstrated that such
marraiges are inherently bad (which is essentially what joe's
argument boils down to - that they are inherently bad). Until that
time its just circular logic and a matter of personal taste.
Hernry, Jennifer and the like,
I'm looking forward to fucking your underaged daughters. Don't
worry, it won't be skeevy or perverted. It will be love true and
pure. I promise.
Giggitty Giggitty.
Paraphrasing Owen Allred:
The man who wants a young girl to be his sexual partner can have
children by her, and the state will support those children. If the
two decide to stay together they become criminals.
Jennifer,
Because 13 year olds can't have such motives. They are as clean as
the pure driven snow. Now 13 year olds can think upon and plan and
carry out acts of homocide, but no way could a 13 year old seduce
someone. :)
Jennifer,
Once a sick predatory fuck, always a sick predatory fuck. And 9 out
of 10 feminists agree; all men are sick predatory fucks. Unless
they're gay. Tops are all SPF's. Bottoms are victims.
ralphus: If my daughter wants to have sex with you, that will be her choice, not mine. Though with an attitude like yours, somehow I doubt she'd choose that....
"Tops are all SPF's. Bottoms are victims."
What does this mean? Literally, that is ... What do these sentences
mean?
Jennifer,
What we have here are a bunch of people who have jumped the gun on
an issue where the facts are in small proportion to the amount of
conjecture created.
Interesting that nobody here wants to draw a line, but just
about everyone wants one drawn.
"Well, if it was 17 it wouldn't be a problem, but 12 is too
young..."
That implies that a line somewhere between 17 and 12 exists and
should be drawn.
And if we believe that there are differences in maturity between
different people of the same age, and we wish to limit the
involvement of the state to what's absolutely necessary...
It's a very interesting problem.
Hakluyt: "Because 13 year olds can't have such motives. They are
as clean as the pure driven snow. Now 13 year olds can think upon
and plan and carry out acts of homocide, but no way could a 13 year
old seduce someone. :)"
And they would NEVER seduce someone and then kill them.... ;)
Jennifer,
No. People who commit crimes are usually free to consort with the
victims of their crimes after their release. If he's found guilty
and jailed and emerges when she's an adult, I encourage them to
fuck each others brains out.
I have a question. If males and females of our species can have sex and procreate at the age of 13, that is our basic biology allows for such, why is that some people claim that our basic biology doesn't allow for a similar mental maturity? Is it that our culture stunts such mental maturity?
You're right, NoStar, I keep forgetting that People of Penis (or
would that be Penile-Americans?) are incapable of being good in
rreagrds to us helpless widdle females.
But the vileness of men notwithstanding, I STILL wish somebody will
explain why the state should have the right to tell a person who
she can or cannot have sex with. And I would still like the folks
who want this guy in jail to tell me: if she still wants this man
when she's eighteen, will you let him out of jail, or continue
insisting that she doesn't know what the hell she wants, and must
be forcibly protected from herself?
And I'm embarrassed to admit this, but if my thirteen-year-old self
had had the chance to sleep with various twentysomething members of
Duran Duran, I'd've jumped at the chance. Probably wouldn't have
been any good at that age, so Simon and John wouldn't have gotten
much out of the experience, but I sure as hell would have.
Hak: That's my vote. Children are being repressed in our culture by the very people who ruined our culture with all that "jungle music" (that would be Elvis).
Well, if the word "pedophile" actually means anything, then
this is a crime.
Not to be a pedant, but if the word "pedophile" means anything, it
doesn't apply in this case. Pedophiles are attracted to
prepubescent children. This girl obviously was sexually mature,
since she got pregnant. (Whether she was emotionally mature is, of
course, a different matter.)
If it turns out that he started diddling her back when she was
nine, then the guy's a pedophile. But I suspect he wasn't.
Pedophiles aren't usually attracted to teens or adults.
Anyone ever see "Coal Miners Daughter"? Ever read anything about
the age various kings took the throne?
That said, I'd probably strangle anyone who tried that with my 13
yo neice.
To all those who want this man to go to jail--if the
13-year-old waits for her husband and returns to him when he's
released, will you apologize for separating them for so long, or
still insist that you did it for her own good?
If a woman who is regularly beaten by her husband returns to him
after he's charged, imprisoned, and eventually released, was it
wrong to imprison the abusive husband?
wsdave,
We'll see how enlightened you are when it becomes a reality instead
of a hypothetical.
Hakluyt,
Fact 1: she's 14
Fact 2: he's 22
Fact 3: It's illegal
What fact am I missing?
Jesse Walker,
Pointing out the term pedophile doesn't apply in the case of the
post-pubescent is so Catholic Church sexual abuse scandal. :)
I think the concept of "age of consent" is meaningful and gives
the government the legitimate authority (some here would have my
head if I said "right"!) to protect people under that age from
themselves. That, OTOH, doesn't mean it's always a good idea. The
question also arises whether a prosecutor should always prosecute
when a law is broken or should he exercise personal discretion
based on whether prosecuting the law is the best alternative in a
particular circ. Seems to me there's pros and cons all
around.
(Sorry for being so wishy-washy, I swear it won't last!)
According to the Gospel of James, Mary was only 13 when she had
Jesus. I don't see too many people in Nebraska running around
saying god is a pedophile.
The question I want answered is what happens if both were under 18
or 15? Would the AG go after both of them or neither? The fact
remains that most all numbers applied to law are arbitrary, recent
and, it seems, going in the wrong direction. While it's probably
necessary to put an arbitrary number on some things to have a
baseline, there should always be ways to opt out.
Phil,
That analogy is a false one.
ralphus,
Pot is illegal. Cocaine is illegal. Voluntary organ sales are
illegal. You make the fallacious assumption that illegality equals
a rational or useful means to distinguish human behavior.
If it were a seventeen year old girl, I'd argue that she
should be considered competent, but I'm not convinced a 13 year old
or a 14 year old is competent, nor 15 or 16.
I'm not convinced that most 30 or 40 year olds are competent, if by
competent you mean capable of making reasoned decisions based on
the available evidence with an eye towards the probability of a
negative outcome to any choice they might make (as a small proof of
this, I would like to point out the continuing popularity of
lottery tickets).
That does not mean that I should be in the position of stepping in,
and say, preventing people from making bad decisions - i.e, buying
lottery tickets. That's why I'm reading a libertarian site - I
agree with the position that people should be allowed to make
stupid choices.
In regards to sexual activity, I think that these situations are
actually pretty clear. Nature has already established an age, which
varies for each individual, at which point they sexually mature and
become interested in pursuing intercourse. It's called puberty.
It's a freak historical accident that we've created an age range
between puberty and adulthood, during which people are biologically
compelled to copulate while such activities are legally restricted.
This conflict has caused no end of social trouble and we should
just realize that nature trumps legislature, and give this battle
up.
To answer the poll concerning my own personal experience, I was 17,
she was 15, we've been friends through the many intervening years,
and she's one of the most mature, stable women I know.
For joe and the others who agree with the Nebraska attorney
general, I'd highly recommend that you read all of Lillian Harman's
"Age of Consent Symposium" from the late 19th Century:
http://flag.blackened.net/daver/anarchism/tucker/aoc.html
It includes this insightful information: The age of consent
varies from ten years to eighteen, being the latter only in Kansas
and Wyoming. In all the States association with a girl before she
has reached the age prescribed in the statutes of the State in
which she lives is rape, regardless of her consent to the
association. The limit is ten years in three States, twelve years
in four, thirteen years in three, fourteen years in nineteen,
fifteen years in one, sixteen years in twelve, seventeen years in
one, and eighteen years in two.
With that knowledge, in your opinion, were the legislatures and
voters of all the states that had ages below whatever arbitrary
number you would assign to the age of consent composed of
"pedophiles"? (Setting aside the fact that expressing sexual
interest in someone who is pubescent is a priori not
pedophilia.)
A 13 year old girl cannot give meaningful consent...
Comment by: joe at July 27, 2005 11:11 AM
According to the
ACLU,
Planned Parenthood, and NARAL, she
can.
Only a right-wing neanderthal (redundant, I know) would think
otherwise.
Jesse,
I checked at dictionary.com and M-W.com first, and there was no
mention of pubescence in the definition of pedophile. So I guess,
according to dictionary.com and M-W.com, you're not at all
pedantic.
Just wondering... is there a word to describe someone like the
22-year-old in this case?
fyodor,
The question also arises whether a prosecutor should always
prosecute when a law is broken or should he exercise personal
discretion based on whether prosecuting the law is the best
alternative in a particular circ.
Prosecutors are supposed to weigh such things (indeed, its part of
a formalized code of conduct). In this case, from what I have seen
from his statements, this prosecutor hasn't done that; he's had the
same sort of emotional reaction that joe has had.
Regardless of what one might think about the initial decision to
have sex and whether that consent was meaningful, yadda yadda, I'm
skeptical of her consent to marry. Her parents were on board with
this? I'd like to find out if she was pressured, and whether that
pressure, coupled with her level of maturity, renders meaningless
her ability to give informed consent to marriage.
Face it: Consenting to have sex once, despite the potential
life-long consequences (e.g. pregnancy, disease, etc.) is not as
serious of a commitment as consenting to marry. A sexual encounter
lasts one night (at most). A marriage lasts, well, longer than that
(except in Vegas and Larry King's household), and ending a marriage
is more complicated than simply saying goodbye and going
home.
I'm not trying to dismiss concerns about the sexual encounter, but
I give higher priority to the circumstances of the marriage. That's
a legally binding contract that's recognized by the state, and it's
not exactly easy to get out of it. Oh, anybody can
divorce, but it's never simple. Given that an immature person made
2 questionable decisions, I'd rather focus on the more serious one
and find out the circumstances under which consent was supposedly
given.
Buh-bye, disphit Hack. My first "absolutist" comment of the
thread was, "I have this really crazy, totally irrelevant question
I just have to get off my chest:
What does the girl think?"
You're up to your old tricks of playing dumb and misrepresenting my
position, so once again, I'm done with you.
ralphus,
My attitude won't change, because I've already thought through the
pro's and con's of the situation and come to a (always open for
more input) reasonable decision on the issue. Short of some new
discovery of info, why would my position change?
Hakluyt,
So you're from the - if it bleeds it breeds/ if there's grass on
the outfield play ball - camp?
You know, Hack's posts are so idiotic, so easily refuted, that
I'm almost sorry I've taken myself out the running to be the one to
knock them out of the ballpark.
But I gots me principles, I do.
Pedophile:
American Heritage: "An adult who is sexually attracted to a child
or children."
Child:
American Heritage: "A person between birth and puberty."
She's not a child... and he's probably not an adult either.
Jennifer, your wish is my command.
"I STILL wish somebody will explain why the state should have the
right to tell a person who she can or cannot have sex with."
Because children lack the maturity and wisdom to give meaningful
consent.
History: that's what I mean about the itching and chafing. My
intellectual position on issues like this does not comport with my
emotional position. I cannot justify this rationally or logically,
and I agree with Jennifer that "ooh yuck!" is not a proper basis
for state interference, but....ooh. Yuck.
Jennifer: yes, under the right circumstances, a 13 year old scoring
an older guy does get status points. But I am sticking to my
original (and totally baseless) hunch that the 22 year old in
question is a trailor dwelling, wife beater in public wearing,
erratically employed, dentally disabled, no stranger to overnight
lockup redneck, and so, she's probably not envied among the in
crowd. We're likely not talking Dawson's Creek or the OC here. If
it turns out that Mr. Koso is in graduate school and that Mrs. Koso
intends to finish her education and go on to a degree in business
administration, then so much the better.
Joe,
"Child:
American Heritage: "A person between birth and puberty."
She wasn't a child.
wsdave,
Because reason and rational thought go out the window when some
skeeve in his 20s is tapping your daughter's 13-year-old ass. Have
fun raising his kid.
joe,
I'm not up to any tricks.
I asked you a specific question and you gave me a specific and
absolute answer (and your quoted language has nothing to do with
either). I took you at your word, but your word apparently doesn't
mean much.
For some reason your specific answers should never be taken
seriously unless you want them to be taken seriously; if they box
you into a corner, well, you really didn't mean that. After a while
such sophistry wears on me.
Here is the exchange between you and me:
_____________
joe,
But 22 and 13? That's just not right.
Why?
___________
Haklyut,
Because he's taking advantage of her.
___________
joe,
I don't, but there is a strong possibility.
It wasn't just a "strong possibility" a few moments ago; it was an
absolute certainty.
Because children lack the maturity and wisdom to give
meaningful consent.
If child means "prepubertal," then yes. Otherwise, since everyone
is someone's child, then no-one could be mature enough to
have sex...
"Because reason and rational thought go out the window when some
skeeve in his 20s is tapping your daughter's 13-year-old ass. Have
fun raising his kid."
Actually, if he's in her ass, there wouldn't be a kid. But thanks
for the encouragement.
Just wondering... is there a word to describe someone like
the 22-year-old in this case?
The psychiatric term is "ephebophile." A gay adult who prefers
adolescent partners is called a "pederast." I'm not sure if there's
an equivalent term for lesbian or heterosexual relationships.
Would anyone like to post a comment or question addressed to me?
Anyone?
I promise I'll read through, and not just skip over it when I see
who posted it.
Hakluyt,
Good point on the question of legality. So I'll just keep somkeing
my weed and you can keep cruising for babes at Abercrombie.
Fuck tha Man!
Jennifer et al.
Since you find 13 old enough to consent to sex, how about porn,
alcohol, other drugs? How about voting? If this girl is mature
enough to govern herself, then I assume you think she should have
be able to vote too. Don't you?
I'm still waiting to know if you would be making the same arguments
if she were eight? Or are you taking the 'old enough to bleed, old
enough to breed' approach?
Joe,
I did. Several. In response to your questions. I thought you were
just ignoring them.
Warren,
I think voting should be at 14, but only if you work. Otherwise it
should be 16.
Warren, I don't think Hack of Jennifer are as perverse as their
arguments make them out to be.
They're just so determined that it couldn't possibly be right for
the government to argue from the NAMBLA talking points to avoid any
heresy.
Hey, she liked it. Really. Kids develop a lot earlier than they're
given credit for. It's loving, and their natural desire to get with
a great big old bear like me shouldn't be stifled.
Holy shit. I look away from H&R for an hour and we've got
people defending a 22-year-old fucking a 13-year-old. Real classy.
I feel dirty after reading this thread.
And the guy who said it would be none of his business if his
13-year-old daughter fucked a 22-year-old? I'm guessing you don't
have a daughter.
Warren,
The problem is that joe, etc. make some rather arbitrary truth
claims about maturity.
"Jennifer OR Hack"
"couldn't possibly be right for the government to TAKE ANY ACTION
THAT THEY'RE WILLING TO argue from the NAMBLA talking
points..."
As for old enough to bleed...
How about old enough to understand the ramifications of what you're
doing, which will vary per person, up to and including never
(apperantly).
joe,
Its not really an issue of heresy. It is an issue of reasoned
statements. So far, you've provided me with none and your reaction
has largely been an emotional one.
wsdave,
While that is an ideal theoretical standard, there is no way to
apply. Which leaves us with either an arbitary line, or Uncle
Charlie being allowed to fiddle around with little kids.
I don't think belittling their positions and simplifying it is
doing any good. Fact: None of us know all of the particulars, so
we're all talking out of asses.
Given that, some of us want to see the state run right in and make
rash decisions such as a 13 year old can never consent.
It's simply quite a bit more complicated than that and it needs to
be a reasoned decision and discussion. That's the position I'm
taking.
Steve,
"And the guy who said it would be none of his business if his
13-year-old daughter fucked a 22-year-old? I'm guessing you don't
have a daughter."
Actually I do. And a 13 year old Niece.
joe,
I'm sorry, but I am not arguing the NAMBLA talking points (I don't
even know what they are). But hey, thanks for trying to smear me
and Jennifer instead of engaging in a rational debate. :)
BD,
Ditto. Sadly, admitting the possibility that a 13 year old might be
exploited by a 22 year old is a frightening concept for some
people.
More frightening, apparently, than the exploitatino itself.
I'm still waiting for the ages of the nay-sayers' first sex (and their first Elvis).
ws dave,
I apologize. Are there any specific thoughts you'd like me to
respond to?
wsdave and joe: Finally we're at the real issue here--do we draw a line or not? Does anyone here, including Hack, really believe there should be no laws establishing where that line is?
Obviously, we need a splinter group: Libertarains against
NAMBLA.
"Dude, you have sex with children!"
--Stan Marsh
Since you find 13 old enough to consent to sex, how about
porn, alcohol, other drugs? How about voting? If this girl is
mature enough to govern herself, then I assume you think she should
have be able to vote too. Don't you?
Insofar as porn, EtOH, etc. are concerned, these are other
situations where the law as it is currently written, is largely
irrelevant. No on that I have ever discussed the issue with
(although, perhaps, there are some here), waited until the legal
drinking age before having their first drink. Most people drink a
little in their mid teens, peak in their late teens/early twenties,
and then taper off, the law be damned.
And porn. Seriously. How many people think that laws, as they are
currently written, keep porn out of the hands of 14 year old boys.
Did any man here hold off until 18 before trying to get his first
girly mag?
Perhaps these examples are less issues of what should be, rather
than simply problems acknowledging was actually is. Arguing about
what should be "allowed" about a lot of these issues is like
arguing about whether the sun should be allowed to rise.
Now voting, that's another story. I actually think there's a good
deal of utility in lowering voting ages, in that the issues of
young people are particularly poorly addressed in this country. And
teenagers can't be any dumber than the currant electorate.
Joe,
Yes, a 13 year old MIGHT be exploited, but then again, maybe not.
My arguement is that 13 years old doesn't automatically make
someone a victim.
Joe,
Did I miss something? Did Jennifer or Hak ever say that a 13 year
old cannot be exploited by a 22 year old? I rather thought that
they were reacting to your supposition that a 13 year old cannot
make an informed consent (to which I reacted as well). Perhaps I
did miss something...
wsdave,
That of course is one of the basic problems with universal legal
regimes that set arbitrary ages for their ramifications. Plus, does
anyone honestly think that there is any, you know, science behind
most age of consent laws?
Joe, your first comment was to ask what the girl in question thinks. Suppose she says that she loves her husband and wants him with her, rather than in prison? Then what--do you accept her opinion, or argue with her until she realizes that she's actually been oppressed and should be miserable?
I'm getting a time machine & going back to arrest all my relatives over the centuries who married in their early teens. Fuckin' pervs!
For the record, guys: NAMBLA favors sex with children, which is to say pre-adolescents who have not even STARTED to reach sexual maturity. Big difference. Now that we've burned the strawman, can we get on with the debate?
wsdave,
Good one.
Still, I expect that you won't be quite as calm and rational as you
think should the scenario actually unfold.
You can argue that the way we treat children has made them too
immature to deal with the natural sexual drives they have. But, the
fact is that no matter how we got there, it is where we are today.
Immature is immature. Should we not protect them from the people
who would prey on that immaturity?
Also, since one of the laws primary roles is to mitigate revenge,
shouldn't the state punish the guy that boffs my 13-year-old
daughter to keep me from killing him?
Let's say the girl initiates. Shouldn't the mature adult rebuff her
advance? Just because someone asks me to rob a bank doesn't mean
I'm off the hook if I do.
It's simply quite a bit more complicated than that and it
needs to be a reasoned decision and discussion. That's the position
I'm taking.
I can make no commentary on the particulars of this case. Maybe he
was taking advantage of her tender age. Maybe she was using him to
get out of an abusive situation at home or a dead-end town. Maybe
they were both taking advantage of one another. Maybe no one took
advantage of anyone. I can't say. I can only speak to
generatlities.
Ron bites into the steak of the problem:
Even if we have enough knowledge (rare), do we have the right to
set a limit? My experience tells me that, in this day and age, most
kids can (and many do) make informed decisions about sex bybthe
time they're 12-13. Another interesting point, is it different for
girls? If the older person had been female and the 13 year old
male, would we be having this conversation?
joe,
Sadly, admitting the possibility that a 13 year old might be
exploited by a 22 year old is a frightening concept for some
people.
Ahh, so this is a case of you jumping to unwarranted conclusions.
Maybe you ought to ask me my opinions before you tell me what they
are. :)
Since someone brought up voting...
If you pay taxes, you should be allowed to vote. That includes
sales taxes. Otherwise it's taxation withut representation, the
coin a popular saying in children's history textbooks.
Joe, your first comment was to ask what the girl in question
thinks.
But then his every following comment was about how that was
irrelevant. He might have been posturing or had missed the girl's
age the first time...
If you start letting people cross state lines to marry a minor,
what's to stop a donkey fucking maniac from marrying half the
barnyard?
...Yeah I know, it's a ridiculous argument. But somebody had to get
it out of the way. ...and if someone else had made the comment, it
might not have contained a reference to donkey fucking.
P.S. The question of consent seems out of context in a case where
the parents legally consented, and, indeed, the state in question
recognized that consent. What, are we arguing for federal marriage
standards now?
I am reminded of the Mary Kay LeTourneau case. She did a kid (or
the kid did her, no difference under law), was excoriated in the
press and court of popular opinion, and did jail time after going
to real court. This, despite the fact that she and the kid had
their own kid.
Years later, she is out of jail. She and the kid (now a young man)
are married, raising their offspring together. Their lives were
twisted inside out, for many years, just so the law could be
respected, and so that people's sense of righteous indignation
could be appeased. Does that seem right to anyone?
I'm with Jennifer on this one: why is it right for the State to
dictate terms in cases like this? I might accept the State's role
in the absence of parental involvement. But if the parents don't
want to press charges, the minor doesn't want to press charges, and
the couple is now married, what interest does the State have in
LeTourneau-izing the adult?
Promoting the sexual purity of kids is only one job of their
parents. Decisions about shelter, clothing, proper nutrition,
healthcare, and many others are the prerogatives of parents. If the
State has proper authority to overrule parents in cases of sexual
relations, I don't see anything preventing parents from being
secondary to the State in all matters of child-rearing. Instead of
the State functioning "in loco parentis," parents all too often
seem to be treated as nothing more than conveniently commissioned
agents of the state, whose child-rearing privileges can be revoked
or curtailed at State discretion.
If the kid feels as if she were raped -- or even if only the
parents do -- then fine. The State justice system can do its duty.
But messing with people's lives and their private arrangements just
to ensure that "the law is respected" is a red flag that the law
is, at least in some cases, not respectable, and in need of
adjustment.
Joe said:
"Ditto. Sadly, admitting the possibility that a 13 year old might
be exploited by a 22 year old is a frightening concept for some
people."
Oh come on Joe, now you are being intellectually dishonest. No one
is saying that it isn't a possibility. Instead it is you who is
saying that it is IMPOSSIBLE for a 13 and a 22 year old to be
involved without the 13 year old being exploited. Jennifer and
Hacklyut are basically arguing (and I agreee with them) that at age
13 there's a very large number of minors who can consent to having
sex with someone without being exploited. It is you who is
frightened by the possibility that maybe just maybe everyone
involved in this situation is happy and there is nothing wrong with
it. To sit here and argue that simply based on the age of the
players you can assume exploitation is just stupid and
disrespectful to all young adults. There are plenty of mature
rational 13 and 14 year olds and there are plenty of immature
irrational 18, 19, 20 year olds, and to try generalize based on an
arbitrary age is foolish.
In my opinion, barring any evidence of abuse or if the wife claimed
any pressure or exploitation, the governement should get its nose
out of this case. And lets be honest, if there was reasonable
suspicion of abuse/exploitation the AG would make that his main
argument not that "its just wrong" crap.
wsdave: That's why state legislatures keep coming up with different answers. 4 years old? No argument. 14?
B.D., you're nuancing this issue to death. Is it wrong for
adults to have sex with children? Yes. It's wrong, and there's a
victim, so it should be a crime.
As to where you draw the line, that's a tough question. Is a
16-year-old old enough to consent to sex with an adult? Probably. A
15-year-old? Maybe. But 13? God, no.
Point is, you have to draw the line somewhere. You can't have a law
that says, "sex with a minor is statutory rape if we decide the kid
isn't mature enough."
The law is a broad instrument, maybe too broad sometimes. Yes, once
in a while, a 22-year-old who's having sex with a 13-year-old who
happens to be really mature might get prosecuted. But really, so
fucking what? I don't think it would be world's greatest
injustice.
Also, since one of the laws primary roles is to mitigate
revenge, shouldn't the state punish the guy that boffs my
13-year-old daughter to keep me from killing him?
In other words, arrest anybody I personally feel like throttling.
Jesus Christ, half the Reason posters'll get life sentences with
THAT guideline!
ralphus,
" Should we not protect them from the people who would prey on that
immaturity?"
Or how about we educate the kids at an age roughly equal to when
they learn about sex from thier friends (usually much earlier than
we do now). I don't fear my kids (or yours, for that matter)
knowing about sex and how to handle sexual situations that may come
up. That's just good self-defense.
"Also, since one of the laws primary roles is to mitigate revenge,
shouldn't the state punish the guy that boffs my 13-year-old
daughter to keep me from killing him?"
Actually, that's what the death penalty is for, for all the good it
does.
B.D.,
joe's agenda is to create opinions for others out of well, thin
air. At the same time, any statement he makes which he finds was
unwise on his part, can always be explained away. :)
wsdave,
No, there can be no discussion! If you have questions, discuss the
matter, etc. you are automatically a bad guy! :)
Should we not protect them from the people who would prey on
that immaturity?
Most of the people who prey on the immaturity of 14 year old girls
are 14 year old boys. As things currently stand, the state offers
no protections in this area.
Why are we advancing the lunatic fiction that any person has ever, at any age, made a rational decision about who to fuck and who to marry?
Perhaps, BD, you missed the part where I wrote, "I have this
really crazy, totally irrelevant question I just have to get off my
chest:
What does the girl think?"
If the run of the debate ends up with people accusing me of taking
an obsolutist position and of declaring all non-virginal teenagers
to be victims, it's not because I have stated either of those
things, but because absolutists on the other side go all jihad on
my ass whenever I stray from their black or white world.
I wouldn't want my 13 year old daughter having sex with a 22
year old. I also wouldn't want her using drugs. Or looking at dirty
magazines. Or playing Grand Theft Auto. Or listening to country
music. Or ditching PE class. Or wearing revealing clothing.
But I don't want any of those activities to be illegal.
Jennifer,
"Joe, your first comment was to ask what the girl in question
thinks. Suppose she says that she loves her husband and wants him
with her, rather than in prison? Then what--do you accept her
opinion, or argue with her until she realizes that she's actually
been oppressed and should be miserable?" I'd say the interview
should go beyond a yes-or-no question. I know, I know, mushy
nuance, I'm a Stalinist, I hate sex...
"For the record, guys: NAMBLA favors sex with children, which is to
say pre-adolescents who have not even STARTED to reach sexual
maturity. Big difference. Now that we've burned the strawman, can
we get on with the debate?" Sure. Could you please explain why your
higher, but still extant, Ick response is a good guide to the law,
but no one else's is?
Steve,
Yes, once in a while, a 22-year-old who's having sex with a
13-year-old who happens to be really mature might get prosecuted.
But really, so fucking what? I don't think it would be world's
greatest injustice.
In the West people accused of crimes have traditionally (since the
Enlightenment) been convicted on the individual nature of their
actions.
"Most of the people who prey on the immaturity of 14 year old
girls are 14 year old boys."
Who seem to be mature enough to "prey" on the girls. I say again,
kids aren't as dumb as the nay-sayers think...
warren,
I don't know about you but I was making decisions about porn, pot,
alcohol, and sex whan I was 13. I figured in this day and age
everyone does. Now whether or not your parents want you to be
making those decisions is a different story, but those decisions
are being made.
Some of my decisions were good, and some were bad and I learned
from all of them.
Since I have kids I see a big difference in the judgement of 8 year
olds and 13 year olds. I also know some 40 somthings who make
dumber decisions than my 8 year old does.
Steve-
You (among others) keep repeating "it's wrong," but WHY? More
circular reasoning. It's wrong, because she's too young. How do I
know this? Because I do. Why is it wrong? Because she's too young.
How do I know?
I'd certainly favor laws saying you can't have sex with girls who
have not yet reached sexual maturity, because among other things
there's a good chance of vaginal tearing, resulting in peritonitis
and death. THAT is a reason. But just saying "It's wrong, because
she's young, which makes it wrong, because she's young" isn't good
enough.
Again--if the girl wants her husband with her, wouldn't locking him
away and turning her into a single teenage mother cause far more
harm than that which you claim to be protecting her from?
What Steve said. Hack and Jennifer--quit the fence sitting. Are we going to pick an age or are we going to have a "navel check" test of consent in every case?
Joe,
At 11:11 (your second post), you wrote:
"Let's not go overboard, Jennifer. A 13 year old girl cannot give
meaningful consent to sex,"
Sound pretty absolutionist to me...
Joe,
I love the phrase "all jihad on my ass" because I'd think it would
be "all Abu Grab guards on my ass", but I digress. Actually, I read
your first statement and agreed...it was the first thing I thought
as well. I'm sorry if I misunderstood your position, but it did
appear as if there were some absolutism in the statement.
Steve,
Speaking of absolutism, I'm afraid I disagree with you. A 13 year
old can make such an informed decision. We have vague laws
involving rape which get put to a jury of 12 people who decide not
whether the person is mature enough, but rather who is telling the
truth and whether or not it really was rape. We deal with those
nuances in the jury system all of the time with sex crimes. It
isn't perfect, but it's our system. The AG should think this
through and thoroughly investigate it and report his findings
before taking this to trial. Thus far, we've gotten an emotional
reaction from him which does little to decide what is justice in
this case.
joe,
Just show us on this anatomically correct doll where Father O'Brien
touched you.
I lied. The girls will have to wait.
wsdave,
I'm not talking about the death penalty. By mitigating revenge I
mean that if someone steals my car I can't go shoot him. The law
exists to make sure the punishment is in proportion to the crime.
It makes sure that the aggrieved have received a measure of justice
that society has agreed upon so they do not seek their own separate
justice. If they do then they are then in violation of the
law.
On another point, I agree that children should be educated on a
whole range of issues like sex and drug use. However, just because
they are taught something doesn't mean it sticks or they have the
maturity to fully comprehend the possible outcomes of their
actions. I'm just now getting calculus.
Now I�m off to find me some young meat.
joe,
The point was that you are accusing us of being almost in league
with NAMBLA, when NAMBLA's positions really have nothing to do with
the story at hand. You used NAMBLA for shock effect and to get an
emotional reaction.
OK, there's a number of questions here. First the easy ones
(which admittedly have little to do with law and policy):
1) Is the guy a creep? Almost certainly yes.
2) Did the girl make a bad decision? Yes.
3) Is the girl immature? Duh.
4) Does this couple have any hope of long-term happiness together?
Almost certainly no.
Now, those issues aren't really enough to merit bringing the law
in. So some more questions:
1) Should the guy go to jail? This is the hard one. Until I know
more I'll err on the side of saying no, simply because there should
be a high burden of proof before somebody goes to jail.
2) How meaningful was her consent to marry?
This is an important one. Even if he doesn't go to jail, one might
argue that she really had no business consenting to marry a creep
if she was pressured by her parents and scared by her pregnancy.
I'd like to know more about the parents and the scenario.
Are they uber-religious folks who told her she'd go to hell if she
doesn't marry the first guy she has sex with?
Did they lay down the "Well, we're certainly not paying for this
baby, so go marry the guy!" line?
Are they neglectful and self-absorbed people who will sign off on
any bad decision that their daughter makes under desperate
circumstances?
There may very well be grounds to annull this marriage. The sex act
is done and no public official can change that. But the marriage is
an ongoing committment, it's almost guaranteed to come to a bad
end, it's legally recognized, and when it ends it will be messy.
Depending on the circumstances, one could make a good case that the
state should take pity on her and annull it as painlessly as
possible.
James-
My thoughts exactly. LeTorneau is now a registerd sex offender for
having sex with her husband. Sure they weren't married at the time,
but the only harm in this situation is the scarlette letter she now
must bare.
However, on the flip side, I had a 15 year old cousing pop out a
second kid to the 21 year old she was sleeping with. My
ever-rightous uncle forced the wedding, you know, shotgun style.
After a 3rd kid and few years of abuse, she finally divorced him at
18. She has since been in and out of abusive relationships.
Sometimes the best intentions of both the state and the parents
leads to disaster. This is clearly a difficult issue that a blanket
law cannot solve. I think the state, and the parents, need to look
at this at a case by case basis in order to attempt to benefit the
couple and any children involved.
Next dilemma, will a red state force a divorce and break up a
family?
By the way, I know Joe's fine with welfare, but for the rest of you libs arguing that the girl's husband should be locked up--don't you DARE start bitching if this girl has to go on food stamps and AFDC because her husband's too busy being raped in the shower to support his wife and child.
By the way, I know Joe's fine with welfare, but for the rest of you libs arguing that the girl's husband should be locked up--don't you DARE start bitching if this girl has to go on food stamps and AFDC because her husband's too busy being raped in the shower to support his wife and child.
So Jennifer, you're ok with pedophiles getting blowjobs, because
there's no risk of physical injury?
Of course you're not. You know how indefensible your line of
argument is.
Unlike most on this board, you're willing to admit that a boss has
power of an employee that makes her less than free in deciding
whether to rebuff his sexual advances. Why are you so unwilling to
admit that an adult - with his car, his income, his greater
experience at playing the scoring game, and his assumed authority -
has power over a child?
Joe,
I love the phrase "all jihad on my ass" because I'd think it would
be "all Abu Grab guards on my ass", but I digress. Actually, I read
your first statement and agreed...it was the first thing I thought
as well. I'm sorry if I misunderstood your position, but it did
appear as if there were some absolutism in the statement.
Steve,
Speaking of absolutism, I'm afraid I disagree with you. A 13 year
old can make such an informed decision. We have vague laws
involving rape which get put to a jury of 12 people who decide not
whether the person is mature enough, but rather who is telling the
truth and whether or not it really was rape. We deal with those
nuances in the jury system all of the time with sex crimes. It
isn't perfect, but it's our system. The AG should think this
through and thoroughly investigate it and report his findings
before taking this to trial. Thus far, we've gotten an emotional
reaction from him which does little to decide what is justice in
this case.
HL,
You made me laugh with that quip.
wsdave, a 14 year old can more easily be coerced and manipulated
by an older, savvier adult than by another 14 year old. There's a
"pick on someone your own size" dynamic here.
I don't think the problem is necessarily that she was 13. The main
problem is that he was 22.
I lied. The girls will have to wait.
wsdave,
I'm not talking about the death penalty. By mitigating revenge I
mean that if someone steals my car I can't go shoot him. The law
exists to make sure the punishment is in proportion to the crime.
It makes sure that the aggrieved have received a measure of justice
that society has agreed upon so they do not seek their own separate
justice. If they do then they are then in violation of the
law.
On another point, I agree that children should be educated on a
whole range of issues like sex and drug use. However, just because
they are taught something doesn't mean it sticks or they have the
maturity to fully comprehend the possible outcomes of their
actions. Hell, I'm just now getting calculus.
As for 14 on 14 sex. Whatever. If you think 22 on 14 sex is fine
then there is no argument I can make to change your mind.
Now I�m off to find me some young meat.
Joe-
So now you're defining "power" as "any advantage in age or wisdom?"
Jesus, Joe, go to high school and arrest the guys in the "in" crowd
who sleep with willing but stupid unpopular girls, then.
And why do you persist in using the loaded word "child" in
reference to a young woman who, while not mature in the eyes of the
law, is fully mature in the eyes of Mother Nature? Oh, right, to
further bolster your circular argument.
Jesus H. Christ on a pogo stick, Jennifer--no, I haven't really
given a lot of thought as to why it's wrong to have sex with
13-year-olds.
I suppose I could think about it and give you a sophisticated
exegesis on the topic. But if we're not both starting from the
assumption that it's wrong to fuck 13-year-olds, I don't know how
much good it would do.
As for the case in question, I'm not sure that putting the guy in
jail would be the best thing. It's too damn bad he wasn't caught
before he could marry her and impregnate her.
One of the purposes of the state is to remove the need for private
vengence. If the state doesn't act to punish 22-year-olds who fuck
13-year-olds, lots of them will get killed by angry parents. That,
in itself, isn't reason enough to forbid something, but it's an
important consideration.
This may be a double post, but here goes:
Joe, You've now dumbed down the definition of "power" to mean "any
advantage--in age, in wisdom, in wealth, whatever." Jesus--why not
go to high school and arrest the guys in the "in-crowd" who sleep
with willing but stupid unpopular girls, then? The guys are taking
advantage of their superior social status.
And Joe, five-year-olds don't have adult sexual desires.
Thirteen-year-olds do. So there's no way to get a kindergartner to
fuck you without serious coercion, but a thirteen-year-old could be
quite willing.
ralphus,
If you're still here...
Society's version of punishment for a crime doesn't prevent you or
anyone else from killing them; you can still do that if you want
to. Your idea of "mitigating revenge" doesn't hold water.
Ron,
I'm curious, if state governments are so confused (varied?) on the
matter of age of consent, etc. why must I automatically pick one.
I've reiterated over and over again doubts about whether any law
currently in situ is based on anything more than joe's basic
argument: its icky.
thoreau,
That's a lot of unsubstantiated conjecturing.
Jennifer: OK, now we're drawing the line at "sexual maturity" (at least for girls). Is that an age or would you leave that issue to a medical exam?
This may be a double post, but here goes:
Joe, You've now dumbed down the definition of "power" to mean "any
advantage--in age, in wisdom, in wealth, whatever." Jesus--why not
go to high school and arrest the guys in the "in-crowd" who sleep
with willing but stupid unpopular girls, then? The guys are taking
advantage of their superior social status.
And Joe, five-year-olds don't have adult sexual desires.
Thirteen-year-olds do. So there's no way to get a kindergartner to
fuck you without serious coercion, but a thirteen-year-old could be
quite willing.
This may be a double post, but here goes:
Joe, You've now dumbed down the definition of "power" to mean "any
advantage--in age, in wisdom, in wealth, whatever." Jesus--why not
go to high school and arrest the guys in the "in-crowd" who sleep
with willing but stupid unpopular girls, then? The guys are taking
advantage of their superior social status.
And Joe, five-year-olds don't have adult sexual desires.
Thirteen-year-olds do. So there's no way to get a kindergartner to
fuck you without serious coercion, but a thirteen-year-old could be
quite willing.
Jennifer, point me to where I said the guy should go to jail.
The well being of the two children (a concept which civilized human
beings don't consider a punchline) is the paramount concern here,
which is why the preliminary outcome I recommended was probation,
counselling, and a DSS file. The rat bastard may deserve to go to
jail, but if that's not the best outcome, then he catches a
break.
Ken Layne, if you have any Viking ancestors, arrest them for raping
and murdering. If you have any Keltic ancestors, arrest them for
burning humans alive in giant wooden effigies. In barbaric periods,
people did barbaric things. They didn't know any better - that
doesn't mean we have to continue in their ignorant barbarism.
If we're talking Ick factor, can we make it illegal for old people to have sex? Just the thought of it makes me ill.
Steve,
But if we're not both starting from the assumption that it's
wrong to fuck 13-year-olds, I don't know how much good it would
do.
Wrong for whom? Wrong in what way? It may indeed be wrong, but the
fact is that you have to justify your presuppositions to be taken
seriously.
Joe,
"I don't think the problem is necessarily that she was 13. The main
problem is that he was 22."
At 11:11, Joe wrote:
"A 13 year old girl cannot give meaningful consent to sex"
The problem is that you don't think that she (or any 13 year old)
can give meaningful consent to sex. And that's where you're
wrong.
Joe said :
"Unlike most on this board, you're willing to admit that a boss has
power of an employee that makes her less than free in deciding
whether to rebuff his sexual advances. Why are you so unwilling to
admit that an adult - with his car, his income, his greater
experience at playing the scoring game, and his assumed authority -
has power over a child?"
Are you really trying to equate the power that a boss has over a
subordinate with the the power an adult stranger has over a
non-adult?
Wow what a strech! This is the worst comparison EVER! The adult
isn't in a position of authority simply because they are older.
Maybe if the 22 year old was the 13 year old's teacher or guidance
couselor or something, but in general terms there is no comparison
between the two.
And what does "his car, his income, his greater experience at
playing the scoring game.." have to do with age? Couldn't these
same examples be used to show some kind of exploitation between
adults that have the same "differences".
Hack: You still haven't answered my question. Are you going to pick an age or not, and if not, what standard are you proposing? Everyone on this board is incredibly squishy.
Jesus H. Christ on a pogo stick, Jennifer--no, I haven't
really given a lot of thought as to why it's wrong to have sex with
13-year-olds.
Seriously, Steve--do you often find yourself with strong opinions
even though you haven't given them any thought?
Hakluyt-
Conjectures aside, I'm not so sure that it's legally wise for 13
year-olds to be entering into marriage contracts, even with
parental consent. 13 year-olds are famous for making decisions that
they'll regret later, and rather than letting them make such a
serious and binding contract that needs to be cleaned up later
(divorces are never neat), maybe it's better to just have a higher
age limit for such serious contracts.
Yes, I know, there are divorces in every age group (cough, Larry
King, cough), but you have to draw a line somewhere. Drawing a
marriage line is different from drawing a line for statutory rape,
because statutory rape laws involve sending people to prison. The
same cannot be said for making people wait to marry.
"And why do you persist in using the loaded word "child" in
reference to a young woman who, while not mature in the eyes of the
law, is fully mature in the eyes of Mother Nature?"
What a sick thought. Her body looks a certain way, so she's a
mature adult? You want the laws of Mother Nature to determine what
acts are and aren't legal, now?
"And Joe, five-year-olds don't have adult sexual desires.
Thirteen-year-olds do." Ah - so that fact the she has new,
unfamiliar, confusing feelings that she hasn't had the time to
learn to deal with maturely yet makes it ok for an older, more
experienced man who knows a great deal more about l'amour to play
on those feelings. But hey, if there's no gun to her head...
"I'd certainly favor laws saying you can't have sex with girls
who have not yet reached sexual maturity, because among other
things there's a good chance of vaginal tearing, resulting in
peritonitis and death. THAT is a reason."
Jennifer:
I think there are emotional circumstances involved as well as
physical. Bodily wounds can heal, but emotional damage often takes
much more time, if they heal at all. How can a female child develop
any kind of trust if she is betrayed by some fuckhead who is many
years her senior?
I think we, as a culture, over-sexualize our children, particularly
females. It drives me fucking nuts when I wander around a
department store, and see some of the clothing sold to adolescent
girls. Short-shorts.. shirts with provocative messages like "Juicy"
and "Come and get it". Why can't kids be allowed to be kids? As the
cliche goes, we only have so many years to be goofy children until
the weight of adulthood comes crashing down on our heads.
Now, to make myself perfectly clear, I don't advocate any
government action. I just think parents need to fucking wake
up.
Well, since there's been a whole lot of "You're putting opinions
into my mouth" comments (from all sides)I'd like to ask a question
-- a straw poll on the actual opinions. Here's a basic question
that I think need to be addressed directly by the disputants.
Should there be ANY limits on who can consent to sexual
intercourse? A secondary one is: If you believe that there should
be limits what should they be? Age? Difference in age up to a
certain age (i.e. it's OK for two 14 year olds to have sex but not
a 14 year old and a 22 year old)? Puberty? Some sort of maturity
test? Anything else.
For the sake of getting this started my opinion is that there is a
certain level of maturity that below which the person cannot give
meaningful consent and therefore a legitimate function of the state
is to protect that person from exploitation. I do not think that a
"maturity test" is feasible. Ergo I believe that a "bright line"
age is a reasonable solution. Being a democracy, that age should be
set by the legislature in each state. This does set up the
possibility that having sex with your s.o. in one state my be legal
whereas across the border it's not. This is not an unusual thing
however, some things are legal in some states and not others (e.g.
fireworks) -- they should've stayed in Kansas. I also feel that
there needs to be a power differential for exploitation -- I don't
believe 2 14 year olds should be convicted of statuatorily raping
each other for example. Again a "power test" is unreasonable ergo a
2-4 year age difference may be a good substitute up to whatever age
of consent is selected. That's my opinion, what do you think?
"You can't have a law that says, 'sex with a minor is statutory
rape if we decide the kid isn't mature enough.'"
Really? We have laws that say minors can't have abortions without
parental consent unless we decide the kid is mature enough, don't
we?
ralphus,
After a while that becomes an idle threat. Sort of like Mona's
posturing about never returning, etc. :)
joe,
They didn't know any better...
Sure they did. You've always had competing notions of morality over
the ages (this is one of the reasons why Christians who claim that
there has always been some universal cross-cultural agreement is
such a canard). When Catholics were burning Protestants, conversos,
spirituali, etc., when Calvin's Geneva was burning Servetus, and
when Elizabeth I was executing Catholics all three could have drawn
on traditions of tolerance that existed in Europe (namely in the
Netherlands, in Transylvania, in Poland, etc.).
You've yet to establish that rape, murder, etc. are related in
their moral seriousness to the issue at hand.
Ron,
I'm not ignoring you, I'm just having trouble coming up with an
age... This is a complicated issue (regardless of this particular
case) that shouldn't be taken half-assed. Consent could be a
certain education level, or age, or body function; none of which
gurauntees(sp?)mental and emotional maturity. By the same token,
should we punish those how are mature enough but are younger than
some predetermined age?
thoreau,
What do you mean by "leagally wise"?
Ron,
You are incredibly rigid. Why do we have to pick? Why does
everything have to be so spelled out for you to consider rightness
and wrongness? We're in fact no incredibly squishy at all, the
litmus test is "Does anyone involed feel harmed or wronged in any
way?" The answer is "no".
It's fine to have the law, I suppose, but why should the state be
pushing criminal charges when the parties involved aren't asking
for it? The law should be the last resort, but the enforcers of law
tend to think it should be the only resort. That's not rational
either.
"You can't have a law that says, 'sex with a minor is statutory
rape if we decide the kid isn't mature enough.'"
Really? Don't we have laws in some states that say minors can't get
abortions without parental consent unless we decide the kid is
mature enough to make that decision on her own?
If my first time had to be way, way past 13, I think everyone else's should be too.
ChicagoTom, have you ever actually had any dealings with human
beings? How about with young girls who find an older man
attractive?
Yes, all people can be vulnerable to persuasion via the factors I
described. The point is, children lack the defenses necessary to
stand up the persuasions that can be offered by a savvy adult, as
well as (often) the capacity for forethought necessary to realize
why they should resist persuasion.
Do you know why anti-feminists like to throw around the word
"infantilization" at those who would limit women's choices for
their own good? Because it is assumed to be wrong to treat adults
like children. Do you know who should be treated like
children?
Children.
I think we, as a culture, over-sexualize our children,
particularly females.
And the constant worry overy "are they emotionally mature enough?"
only further sexualizes them.
Ron,
I did answer your question. I told you I don't know.
joe is back to his basic argument: its icky. You know, Christian
fundamentalists make a similar argument about another matter ...
:)
Mr. Nice Guy,
I think we, as a culture, over-sexualize our children,
particularly females.
I think we as a culture hide reality from our children in an effort
to lengthen childhood.
What do you mean by "leagally wise"?
I mean that:
1) I can't spell ;)
2) It would be a bad idea to have a law that allows the thing I was
talking about. (i.e. 13 year-olds entering into marriage
contracts)
Jennifer,
So if a guy murders the husband of his pregnant lover, and then
marries her, we shouldn't send him to jail because it would tear
apart the family?
I still want to know if you think it would make any difference if
the girl was 8 years old.
You can't have a law that says, 'sex with a minor is
statutory rape if we decide the kid isn't mature
enough.'
Actually, that seems to be a far more rational approach than an
aribtrary age which is likely unmoored from any scientific, etc.
evidence as to when "maturity" fully flowers.
"How about voting? If this girl is mature enough to govern
herself, then I assume you think she should have be able to vote
too. Don't you?"
Uh, no. The fact that she is mature enough to govern herself
doesn't mean she's mature enough to govern me.
You people fucking amaze me with your "a 14-year-old can't
consent because" and "statutory rape laws exist because" crap. Try
thinking of the "because" first, like good lawmakers should.
Let me explain something to you. What you are arguing against is a
possible case of force and/or fraud between two people. I know the
fact that there's sex involved makes you all crazy, but it's really
that simple.
It's not much different than a case in which a merchant sells a
customer something potentially harmful, like pharmaceuticals or
fireworks. The customer either does or does not know how to conduct
herself around pharmaceuticals or fireworks. The merchant either
did or did not know that the customer had any knowledge of what she
was buying. There either was or wasn't financial fraud or
compulsion involved. The merchant might or might not have compelled
the customer to buy. The customer might or might not have compelled
the merchant to sell.
If an adult cannot have sex with a child, that is because it is
presumed to be a matter of force or fraud. The question of whether
it is, in fact, force or fraud is the question we and the courts
need to examine, not what the "correct" ages of the participants
are.
The delay looks like it pretty much killed this thread, but in the end Joe and his fellows didn't have a leg to stand on besides "If you don't like this, what's your better solution?"
How 'bout this for a hasty, knee-jerk reaction:
The guy is a goddamned wierdo.
The girl is probably fucking stupid.
Her family probably fucked her up.
If people want to go on and fuck up their lives, why should I or
the state care?
/angry mean ol' libertarian
I don't know, wsdave; I'd kind of hoped that
Jhywun's comment would have been the end of the
thread.
speedwell; if we're going to turn this into a
discussion about freedom of contract, then it's worth pointing out
that one cannot legally sign until they are no longer a
minor.
Would those arguing against a statutory rape age barrier also argue
that a child or adolescent should be able to sign a contract? If
not, then why?
What we need is a standard age. 21 seems to be the age of
adulthood. We should set 21 as the age for voting, drinking, sex,
porn, etc... everything.
Children under 21 may be biologically ready but are not emotionally
ready for sex.
"speedwell; if we're going to turn this into a discussion about
freedom of contract, then it's worth pointing out that one cannot
legally sign until they are no longer a minor."
"Legally" sign, yes. For the same reason--because force or fraud is
automatically assumed, where it should instead be decided on a
case-by-case basis.
Russ D: Re, my alleged "rigidness". I think you're seeing too much in my question. I'm not trying to make an argument. I'm trying to figure out what the position is. If you are saying that there should be no definite age of consent, that is a position. What I object to is people trying to avoid the consequences of the positions they take (or don't take). Way back in the pleistocene, BD said he could live with a "navel check" standard, which we have for rape, and I can understand that position, whether I agree with it or not. WS Dave admits it is a tough question, and hasn't made up his mind, so I'm OK with that. Jennifer's position has morphed into something like sexual maturity, although she hasn't said how that would be determined.
Joe said :
"The point is, children lack the defenses necessary to stand up the
persuasions that can be offered by a savvy adult, as well as
(often) the capacity for forethought necessary to realize why they
should resist persuasion."
Some children do lack the defenses necessary, some don't. Your
blanket statments about what children lack just emphasize what
other posters have been saying, you are speaking in very absolute
terms.
Yes children need to be protected, but the degree of protection you
are demanding, in my opinion, is over the top. And just because
children need to be protected is an agreed upon sentiment, that
doesn't mean that all children need to be protected in the same
way. Teenagers don't need the same protection as 8 year olds, and
teenagers have a much better ability to defend themselves than an 8
or 9 year old does.
In this particular case, there is nothing so far that has shown
anyone needing to be protected.
I have had quite a few dealings with human beings in the real world
(thanks for asking). And in the real world, it isnt black and white
like you are trying to make it. Just because the girl was 13 or the
man was 21 doesnt mean anyone was exploited/coerced/or taken
advantage of. No matter how bad you want it to be that way. Many
female relatives of mine (aunts, grandparents) were minors when
they met their husbands who in many cases were quite a bit older
(10 years or so), and there wasn't expoitation involved.
My point is, I believe that an the age difference in and of itself
should not be enough to make someone say "well obviously the older
is exploiting the younger". It isn't at all obvious that
exploitation has happened. If the girl comes out and says that she
didn't want to marry him, or doesn't love him or something like
that, then obviously something should be done, but barring that,
the government should get out of the way.
This has to be the most pedantic H&R thread ever--Jesus H.
Christ.
Does the term "prosecutorial discretion" mean anything to you
thumpers out there? Yes, what this guy did was wrong--no shit. Now
what? None of the indivduals involved (families included) want a
prosecution here (I'll even proffer that the child, when of age,
will not want his father in prison). But some ham-handed pol wants
to use his personal sense of indignation as a hammer and ruin
people's lives for sure. This is a second "wrong", which in no way
remedies the first. Is that so fucking hard to understand? Perhaps
why this is a legitimate "libertarian" issue is that the choice of
all the affected individuals involved is being trumped by the
almighty state, or, more accurately,by some fucking slimey
politician. That is not justice in any sense that any libertarian
should embrace.
Joe, go write a fucking bible already.
Warren--
For your analogy to work you'd have to assume that consensual sex
is on a par with murder.
And I notice that Jane got herself a sex-change operation and a
race-lift to become the Hispanic Jose. Hola!
speedwell is correct.
I've been trying to get out of joe, etc. for a while now some
rational explanation for their position based on something than its
"icky" or unsubstantiated claims about such a relationship being
automatically "coercive."
But how does one determine maturity? Should there, perhaps, be
an arbitrary age limit set on the freedom to sign a contract with
an 'opt-out clause' in the event that the person can prove their
maturity?
Also, unless there's a family farm involved, most 13-year-olds
can't get (legal) work - so is this necessary to prevent
adolescents from having no (legal) choice but to suck at the
taxpayer's teat?
Here's something I should've added 232 comments ago: What does
Nebraska's prosecution and, in effect, nullification of a Kansas
marriage tell us about same-sex marriages?
[runs quickly away]
ChicagoTom,
Just the other day joe was defending post-modernism ... now he's
jumped in with Shannon Love. :)
Henry: Your argument touches the heart of the matter for libertarians, I think. Who gets to decide when sexual contact is appropriate, the state or the parties involved? That's an easy one if we're talking about 25 year olds. The question involved here is at what point does age make a difference in your answer? I think everyone on the thread agrees it does at some point, although no one agrees on what it should be or whether there should be "exceptions" in certain cases. The other aspect of this that really hasn't gotten enough airtime imo is whether the parents are in a better position to make that decision than the state is, and whether libertarians are willing to draw a line somewhere even if the parents think it's OK (e.g., sex with a 5 year old). Tough questions.
(as a small proof of this, I would like to point out the
continuing popularity of lottery tickets).
That does not mean that I should be in the position of stepping in,
and say, preventing people from making bad decisions - i.e, buying
lottery tickets.
Buying a lottery ticket is a reasoned decision when the EV of a
dollar spent is >= $1
Jennifer,
I guess we all have some truths that we hold to be self-evident.
For me, "don't have sex with 13-year-olds" is one of them. I don't
think 13-year-olds should be having sex with each other, either,
but a 22-year-old can be assumed by the law to know better.
I suppose I could come up with the intellectual justifications as
to why sex with 13-year-olds is wrong. I'm not a philosopher,
though, so Haklyut would probably tear holes in them. I remain
convinved, though, that if you're an adult sex with 13-year-olds is
always wrong, and I suspect that most people who argue otherwise
are trying to be pedantic or pointlessly contrarian.
I couldn't find any takers.
wsdave,
The law does in fact serve as an incentive against personal
vengance. You know, social contract and all that. Certainly I could
go out and exact my own revenge, but I would be in violation of the
law and would be punished if caught. Thus, the incentive not to.
Without the law, people would be lynched for theft or not
recycling.
mediageek,
Best argument I've read all day.
Steve-
Fair enough, but is it more wrong that turning a married young
woman into an unwed teenage mother? Assume the girl wants to keep
her husband and the father of her baby--can YOU look her in the eye
and tell her no, he's going to jail? Because we want to protect
YOU? If she doesn't mind and her parents don't mind, then why the
hell are YOU so upset about it?
And when did its wrongness become self-evident, anyway? As has been
demonstrated already, young marriage was the norm for most of our
species' history. And before anybody says "Yeah, and so was slavery
and murder and etc.," let me point out that slavery and murder
generally are NOT consensual.
Will somebody think of the ponies?
from http://www.peeniewallie.com/
Man dies after anal sex with horse
"Well, officer, you're not going to believe this, but I was walking across the pasture and I saw a quarter on the ground, and I bent over to pick it up and..."
A Seattle man died after engaging in anal sex with a horse at a farm suspected of being a gathering place for people seeking to have sex with livestock, police said Friday.
The horse involved in the incident was not harmed, and an autopsy of the unnamed man concluded that "the manner of death was accidental ... due to perforation of the colon," a police spokesman said.
Posted by Peenie Wallie on July 27, 2005 at 01:02 PM
"children lack the defenses necessary to stand up the
persuasions that can be offered by a savvy adult, as well as
(often) the capacity for forethought necessary to realize why they
should resist persuasion."
"A 13 year old girl cannot give meaningful consent to sex, and is
extremely vulnerable to being manipulated by an adult man."
"...the conflicts of interest here, the vulnerable position of the
kid, and broad social good that having something besides the
conscience of the predator to protect the prey..."
"If I trade a six year old five shiny pennies for his $20 bill, I'm
a dirty thief."
"Because children lack the maturity and wisdom to give meaningful
consent."
"...an adult - with his car, his income, his greater experience at
playing the scoring game, and his assumed authority - has power
over a child..."
"...a 14 year old can more easily be coerced and manipulated by an
older, savvier adult than by another 14 year old. There's a "pick
on someone your own size" dynamic here."
"The point is, children lack the defenses necessary to stand up the
persuasions that can be offered by a savvy adult, as well as
(often) the capacity for forethought necessary to realize why they
should resist persuasion."
So, as you can see, all I've really been able to offer to the
argument is that it's, like, all icky and stuff.
Jennifer,
I didn't say the guy should be thrown in jail. I'm not familiar
enough with the particulars of the case to say what should happen
to him. I do think his conduct should be illegal. It would be nice
if he had been caught and thrown in jail before he could marry and
impregnate his victim, but since that didn't happen, some
punishment short of jail is probably appropriate. It's a shitty
situation all around.
ChicagoTom,
"Just because the girl was 13 or the man was 21 doesnt mean anyone
was exploited/coerced/or taken advantage of." It doesn't
necessarily mean she was exploited, but it certainly raises the
strong possibility.
"Many female relatives of mine (aunts, grandparents) were minors
when they met their husbands who in many cases were quite a bit
older (10 years or so), and there wasn't expoitation involved."
What makes you so certain? To my ears, you sound like the guy
saying, "My old man used to beat me with a two by four, and I
turned out ok. So there ain't nothing wrong with the way I
discipline my son" as he whacks him with a two by four.
Ron, in THIS case, there is no such problem--the girl in
question could be (and eventually was) married legally in a state
in the Union. I understand that the "cart was before the horse"
here. I'm not arguing what was done HERE was right. My point: now
what? All the high and mighty moral blather aside, I am a loss to
understand why the will of the state (or this grandstanding pol)
should trump here. Let these poor people move on in peace and live
their lives already. This was the point of raising Jerry Lee Lewis,
Loretta Lynn, etc.--people can move on and up from these types of
fuck-ups (getting married at 13 today is a fuck-up, IMO--but then
again getting married at 21 is often a fuck-up, too). But not when
they are in prison.
This thread is infested with same "pedophile" hysteria that runs
rampant in the MSM (imported from the UK, I think)--which, in
itself, should be telling enough. Quit labeling here and just look
at the human beings involved. Leave them the fuck alone
already--they've got enough shit to work on as it is.
The one thing that bothers me about the "we need to let the
courts get involved" tack taken by some above is that we are not
opening an inquiry into "RE:Whether this girl is safe and this
marriage is healthy/ok." Nebraska is putting her husband on trial
for a crime. The elements of the crime will undoubtedly be proven,
and "we got married in Kansas" is probably not an affirmative
defense. Unless there is one hell of a something-minded jury, he
will be convicted and sent to jail for a very long time.
None of this will examine the girl's best interests, her safety,
her consent, their lives, her mental and physical health previously
or going forward. Those who say they feel comfortable getting the
courts involved as a safeguard miss what the criminal court's role
in this issue truly is, IMHO.
While we're all talking about how "creepy" this is, I might mention Will and Ariel Durant. Ariel was 15 when she married Will Durant, who was 13 years older. (She roller-skated to City Hall for the wedding, which almost led the clerk to say no way.) I guess she was exploited, too.
I think the bottom line is that it's a pretty bad idea for 13
year-olds to have sex with ANYBODY. Yes, some will do it anyway,
but Those Who Should Know Better (i.e. people past puberty) should
have the decency to refrain from helping 13 year-olds make these
mistakes. Doesn't mean anybody should necessarily go to prison, but
I'm not going to get on the high horse of "Dammit, it's their
RIGHT!" If somebody does something stupid then I'm going to say so.
You can call something stupid without calling for legal
sanctions.
To get back to my earlier point, I want to know more about her
decision to get married. That's a pretty darn big decision for an
immature person to make, and she's chosen a pretty dubious spouse.
Even if one believes that a mature 13 year-old should be able to
make these decisions for herself, I would really like to know more
about how and why she decided to marry the guy, and what (if any)
pressure or input she got from her parents. There's more to consent
than uttering the words "I do."
Finally, if she or her parents had any sense the girl would have
gone to an adoption agency rather than a wedding chapel.
So, I'm not convinced that anybody should go to jail, but rather
than projecting our high-falutin' Big Questions onto this case,
maybe we should just acknowledge that it's a mess, that somebody
needs to talk some sense into all parties involved, that nobody has
made a good decision, and the circumstances surrounding her consent
to the marriage contract deserve careful scrutiny. That's where the
state should focus its attention: Nobody can change the fact that
the sex happened, but maybe there's a way to annull this marriage
contract that will involve less pain than the inevitable
divorce.
Joe: Just want to make sure I understand your position. If Jennifer, Hack, and others say it's OK for their 13 year old kids to have sex with a 22 year old, you favor laws that would make this illegal? If so, how do you square this with libertarian principles? Aren't you substituting your judgment (and the state's) for the parents'?
Camille Paglia somewhere suggests 14 as the age of consent,
probably balancing this and that to come up with it.
One thought is that being stuck with the consequences of your own
actions is humanizing, and largely denied to children now; they are
not taken seriously as people.
Steve,
Well, that's what you should teach your children.
The issue what is the role of government in all of this? Some
dogmatically claim that the role as currently defined is the proper
role and they base that conclusion largely on tradition and other
like factors, others like myself wonder if that is true.
joe,
You're a real hoot (despite you being an elitist and all).
"children lack the defenses necessary to stand up the
persuasions that can be offered by a savvy adult, as well as
(often) the capacity for forethought necessary to realize why they
should resist persuasion."
Absolutist and undocumented claim about the nature of
teenagers.
"A 13 year old girl cannot give meaningful consent to sex, and
is extremely vulnerable to being manipulated by an adult
man."
Absolutist and undocumented claim about the nature of
teenagers.
"...the conflicts of interest here, the vulnerable position of
the kid, and broad social good that having something besides the
conscience of the predator to protect the prey..."
I already eviscerated this remark.
"If I trade a six year old five shiny pennies for his $20 bill,
I'm a dirty thief."
Inapposite.
"Because children lack the maturity and wisdom to give
meaningful consent."
Absolutist and undocumented claim about the nature of
teenagers.
"...an adult - with his car, his income, his greater experience
at playing the scoring game, and his assumed authority - has power
over a child..."
Absolutist and undocumented claim about the nature of
teenagers.
"...a 14 year old can more easily be coerced and manipulated by
an older, savvier adult than by another 14 year old. There's a
"pick on someone your own size" dynamic here."
Absolutist and undocumented claim about the nature of
teenagers.
"The point is, children lack the defenses necessary to stand up
the persuasions that can be offered by a savvy adult, as well as
(often) the capacity for forethought necessary to realize why they
should resist persuasion."
Absolutist and undocumented claim about the nature of
teenagers.
Like thoreau you make a whole series of conjectures and expect
people to swallow them whole. You know what they say, it takes an
urban planner four years to get out of college, and another thirty
getting over himself. :)
I am now ready to render a ruling on the issue. Let the
universal "age of consent" be established at 13 years of age. At
younger ages, there will be a rebuttable presumption that sex was
not consensual. The "child", her parents, or her guardian will have
standing to make a complaint.
This is mostly arbitrary but informed somewhat by anecdotal
evidence about maturity at 13.
"If Jennifer, Hack, and others say it's OK for their 13 year old
kids to have sex with a 22 year old, you favor laws that would make
this illegal?" Yes.
"If so, how do you square this with libertarian principles? Aren't
you substituting your judgment (and the state's) for the parents'?"
The same I support substituting the state's judgement for the
parents' when they want to have a faith healer chant "boogie
boogie" over their child's enflamed appendix, instead of taking her
to a hospital.
Actually, I'm a liberal. The Hack just has a blunt mind that recoils from even moderaly-fine distinctions.
Oh, now Haklyut has crossed the line. Talking shit about
thoreau! That should be grounds for another lifetime ban.
Since 13-year-olds are children, the presumption of liberty doesn't
always work. Tell us, Hakluyt, why do you think is IS ok for
13-year-olds to have sex?
"My old man used to beat me with a two by four, and I turned
out ok. So there ain't nothing wrong with the way I discipline my
son" as he whacks him with a two by four.
Again, Joe, you're ignoring the issue of consent. If this girl was
FORCED to marry against her will I'd oppose it, but she wasn't.
Just as I doubt anyone consents to being beaten with a
two-by-four.
A secondary one is: If you believe that there should be
limits what should they be
The time period (no pun intended) when a person reaches sexual
maturity.
Interestingly enough, Joe and Steve's entire line of reasoning
means that a mentally retarded woman is NEVER legally allowed to
have sex.
Joe said :
"It doesn't necessarily mean she was exploited, but it certainly
raises the strong possibility."
No it doesn't. It raises the QUESTION. Not the "possibility" and
definately NOT a "strong possibility". The "strong possibility" is
your own personal feelings about the matter and nothing more.
There is nothing wrong with you raising the question of "was she
exploited" but there is something definately wrong with insisting
that, more likely than not, there was exploitation.
Joe also said: "What makes you so certain? To my ears, you sound
like the guy saying, "My old man used to beat me with a two by
four,...."
What makes me so certain? They're my relatives for God's sake. They
told me about their courtship and how they met. And none of them
talked about the exploitation aspect you are so sure must have
happened. Also, I sound more like the guy who says : "I was spanked
as a child, and it taught me about consequences, so I believe I
should be allowed to spank my child without fearing that Child
Services comes and take my kid away because they believe that there
is a strong possibility that someone who spanks a child will
inflict severe damage on a child"
Let me ask you this Joe, at which point would you accept that there
was no exploitation? If the girl says there wasn't would that be
enough in your world? Since she is so young she wouldn't even know
she was being exploited and doesnt have the mental capacity to
discern when explitation is taking place? And why is the burden of
proof on others to prove there was none instead of on you to
justify your belief that exploitation was a strong possibility?
Last I checked, the burden of proof is on the accuser not the
accused. Do you think its proper to go about throwing accusations
of exploitation without even having a shred of evidence to point
you in that direction? Just because in your view of how the world
SHOULD BE, you believe that exploitation is a strong possibilty
doesn't make it so. And to throw around those types of judgements
when there is no evidence to justify your belief is careless
Let me ask you this Joe, at which point would you accept
that there was no exploitation?
When he sees the videotape.
ralphus,
You just argued my point for me. Thank you. Jail for the 22 year
old doesn't stop you from killing him, jail for YOU stops you from
killing him.
(I posted this at 2:50, did not show but it still seams
applicable)
I think most people on this list are having a serious issue,
confusing the morality question with the legal question. Just
because it may be immoral or moral for a 21 year old to have sex
with a 13 year old has little bearing on whether the state should
make it automatically illegal.
As for the moral issue, most discussion on this is just back and
forth hypothecial. "13 year olds" are not a class of people to be
treated whole. It is just a classification to refer to people that
share the same age. But each 13 year old is an individual so the
morality question differs in each instance of sex and for each 13
year old. No one can judge the morality of this situation as no one
can trully know if her consent was "meaningful."
This is separate from the leagl issue of whether statustory rape
should be a law or not. Rape (the non-consent regular kind) already
makes it illegal for sex with a non-consetning (lack of meaningful
consent) person. Thus, there is no reason for a stat rape
law.
If a prosecutor feels that a particualr instance of sex is
non-consetning then he should make that case. The age should not be
defining factor but may be used as evidence. This will allow each
case to be treated on its merits with each victim and alleged perp
being treated like individuals. I mean we are libertarians and
all.
To allay fears of rampant sex with minors, prosecutors can simply
issue "guidelines" that all sex with those under 14 will be
investigated for the potential that the consent was not meaningful
with the bounds of the law.
But removing the burden of proving lack of consent is simply
removing the humanity from the situation and treating all
individuals as members of a class which is dehumanizing.
The main purpose of rape law is defending the rights of a "raped"
victim. For that reason alone, the issue of meaningful consent
being given should always be at issue in a rape trial.
Stat rape laws, acknowledge that it is impossible to determine the
exact age when it is possible to give menaingful consent so they
simply treat the subjects (13 year olds) as cows rather than
individual humans some of whom can make such meaningful decisions
and others that can not. Current standard rape laws are sufficient
to handle these issues, but stat rapes help "pro-victim" politians
win votes.
The inherent fault of statutory rape laws is that they
automatically deem sex to be non-consensual when one of the
partners is below a certain age. This age threshold needs to be set
low enough to be realistic. Anyone who reaches puberty will develop
a sex drive and may want to participate in sexual activities. I
suggest the age threshold be set at 12 years old - on a nationwide
basis. Anyone above that age can swear out a complaint if they were
forced to have sex.
In the case of our 13 year old gal; she (or her parents if she were
intimidated) would have the option to file charges. A reasonable
jury would be able to determine if she had given consent on her own
free will. I see no reason why sex and marriage between a 13 year
old and a 22 year old should become a matter for the state to
intervene. And who are we to judge the actions of this
couple?
Side Bar: Is the Mann Act still in effect? Could the Feds end up
sticking their nose into this bedroom?
"Last I checked, the burden of proof is on the accuser not the
accused."
The burden of proof is on the accused when he makes an affirmative
defense.
If you're caught getting it on with a 13 year old girl when you're
22, the presumption is that you're a piece of crap taking advantage
of a little girl.
I'm sure this has already been said but there's a lot of
comments to wade through. In short, the guy's a f*cking pervert who
should be jailed for 100 counts of statutory rape. In addition, I
propose jailing the girl's mother who "consented" to this
outrage.
As for the purists who find this to be a "libertarian" issue, I
suggest they either pull their heads out of their asses or else
acknowledge the fact that public will never subscribe to their way
of thinking if it's going to be so detached from reality.
joe,
Also note that you are one making up arguments for other
people.
a,
Yes, polygamy should be legal.
Crushinator,
Yes, The Mann Act still exists. Its one of the more racist pieces
of legislation passed by the Congress.
I've never called for airlines to be nationalized. The only
industry I think should be nationalized is health insurance.
No, Hack, I'm a capitalist - I just happen to be one whose
philosophy is capable of encompassing the way the world works in
the modern era. An economy built around the private sector, with
regulation in the public interest. You know, a liberal.
Wanted to also add in that my grandmother married at 14 to a 21
year old. Married for 60 years, 2 kids, etc.
Of course we expected more from people way back then.
Ron,
The first question shouldn't be "where do we draw the line", it
should be "why do we draw the line".
We draw the line so that when a citizen feels there is some kind of
wrong commited against him - crossing the line, and in the case of
children the line was crossed against the parents - the state will
intervene when asked. If no citizen involved in the matter is
asking for state help, and all citizens involved in the matter tell
the state to bugger off, the state should get the out of the way
(and save everybody a whole lot of tax money).
a-
I have no problems with polygamy. The laws against it are based on
religious objections. There ought to be a law against
religious-based laws.
But tell me, what person in their right mind would want more than
one spouse? Isn't a single spouse one-too-many already??? If
polygamy is outlawed, shouldn't monogamy be next?
Crushinator,
The provisions of the Mann Act were also significantly extended by
Supreme Court activism to include acts far outside the boundaries
of the language involved in the Act; such extensions include
"transport" of women for non-commercial purposes (like
"debauchery"), for polygamous relationships, etc.
I don't know John Q, but I'll bet there are lots of places in this country where a girl marrying or having sex at 13 is more than acceptable.
Joe: "If you're caught getting it on with a 13 year old girl
when you're 22, the presumption is that you're a piece of crap
taking advantage of a little girl."
But should that NECESSARILY be a crime? How is this analogous to
the nutjob parents who refuse medical intervention for their
children for asinine "religious beliefs?" No one's arguing that
this guy should get citizen-of-the-year award, just that should he
HAVE to go to jail?
I'd also be interested to know where everyone is from, both
those for and against allowing people as young as 13 to give their
consent to sex.
I would imagine that urban folks are generally more against it than
rural.
While dancing around the right/wrong issue, it seems like the
real issue got lost. What I'm talking about is does the state have
the right define crime on tenuous and arbitrary grounds especially
when that definition may break an agreement of reciprocity with
another state? Would another state abide by the conviction or grant
amnesty since it presumably isn't a crime there? Assuming the baby
hasn't been born, where is the evidence of a crime? Can Nebraska
hold the 14 year old until the baby is born and then forcibly
conduct a paternity test? If they get a conviction can it be taken
to a Federal court because of the interstate nature of the marriage
and what happens then? Can they prove he fucked her in Nebraska and
not Kansas, if not, does the state have standing in the case?
As for what they did, who cares? The law is there to inflict
vengance on behalf of past and current victims and prevent future
victims. That said, it seems from the little information available
in this case, there is agreement, aside from the AG, that there is
no victim and minimal risk of future victims. With no vengance to
mete out and no one to protect, there is no basis for adjudication.
Unfortunately, we have an AG who thinks he can make milage out of
this unfortunate situation. Speaking of the AG, what is his real
motive? Surely, it's not just about protecting the public.
Russ D,
"We draw the line so that when a citizen feels there is some kind
of wrong commited against him - crossing the line, and in the case
of children the line was crossed against the parents - the state
will intervene when asked. If no citizen involved in the matter is
asking for state help, and all citizens involved in the matter tell
the state to bugger off, the state should get the out of the way
(and save everybody a whole lot of tax money)."
Explain to me how, under this reasoning, a six year old who is
beaten by her parents, and doesn't realize that such treatment is
improper, can ever be rescued by the police.
Russ D: Surely you aren't contending that parents should be able to marry-off their 8 year olds?
Joe,
If your philosophy is capable of encompassing the way the world
works, you can give up on nationalized health any time now.
a,
I'm for poly-gimme (poly lots of things, in fact), but only if all
parties are aware of each other (whether or not they agree). By
that, if you and I are married and I decide to marry someone else
too, you would be notified. If you didn't like it, you could
divorce me, but not stop me. All support and Social Security issues
(and such) can be worked out be contract.
I was born and raised a surburban Michigander, Lowdog. I think that people should be judged by their maturity and character, which does not necessarily correlate with their age.
joe,
Really, you need to take a criminal law course. :)
The burden of proof is on the accused when he makes an
affirmative defense.
There is no affirmative defense here (yet). The burden of proof
remains with the state. Note that statutory rape cases are one of
the few areas of criminal law (with serious consequences) where a
strict liablity standard is maintained. This is one of the more
unjust issues with statutory rape law.
"If you're caught getting it on with a 13 year old girl when
you're 22, the presumption is that you're a piece of crap taking
advantage of a little girl."
I'd say so, and I agree in this case with the Nebraska AG, but
sometimes cultural circumstances may come into play. Did this girl
share with her parents their obvious belief that it was
dishonorable to be unmarried and pregnant, and consent to willingly
cross state lines for the marriage?
MARRIAGE UNFAMILIAR,
MARRIAGE QUITE PECULIAR,
JAILBAIT CROSSIN' STATE LINES --
COMITY TONIGHT!
Well, this guy should have went past Kansas and kept straight for
Saudi Arabia. Muslims get upset when you point out the fact that
their prophet married a girl when she was 9, and started screwing
her when she was 11 (ewww, wot a creep!!), but in some parts of the
uncivilized world this is not an uncommon practice. And of course,
we're all familiar with those arranged marriages in India and other
places where children as young as six years old (!!!) are hooked up
by their families (double yuck!!!!)
This situation reminds me of a legal class I took a couple of
months back. The attorney who taught the class had a case involving
a young couple from Mexico that was living here in the states. He
was about 19, she was 14, and apparently where they came from in
Mexico it was not uncommon for young couples of this age to be
married.
They moved here to the US, got into a fight, the young man
unfortunately and stupidly took a swing at his wife. The cops got
involved, and the young man was brought in for domestic violence.
When they found out that his wife was "under age" (even though they
were legally married in their country and had birthed a child), the
young man was to be charged with pedophilia and a whole bunch of
charges.
The attorney basically saved the family and got the young man off
by calling immigration in on his own clients in order for them to
be deported, since the Feds'jurisdiction superceded the
state's.
Also, do the bloggers here that support polygamy also support
polyandry? If you support the former and not the latter, why
not?
"Explain to me how, under this reasoning, a six year old who is
beaten by her parents, and doesn't realize that such treatment is
improper, can ever be rescued by the police."
How the fuck can you compare a six year old with a thirteen year
old? There's light years of difference.
Your lack of rationality is only surpassed by your paternalistic,
infantilizing attitudes towards youth.
--"Last I checked, the burden of proof is on the accuser not the
accused."
--"The burden of proof is on the accused when he makes an
affirmative defense."
The burden of proof is ALWAYS on the accuser. The burden to prove
an affirmative defense is on the accused but it does not shift the
burden of GUILT, that remains on the Accuser.
In stat cases there is no mens rea element so there is no real
burden on the prosecutor other than to show that he performed an
act, (which the pregnancy covers). So the Accuser has automatically
met the burden.
The accused may go free if they can prove a defense, and there
aren't many that are accepted in stat rape. Her consent is
irrelevant and so is the knowledge of her age (I though she was 18
crap). his only remaining affirm defenses would be insannity.
Eddy: Well, you stole my thunder. I was waiting for John Q to pick an age of consent around 18 and then see what he thinks about Kansas.
Note that I did use the word generally.
But I agree with you whole-heartedly, andy.
I knew this girl when I was growing up who was a total sex-pot at,
like, 12. She was the total aggressor and started having sex at 13.
At the time, I thought it was strange, but then I matured more
slowly than some (shit, some people still say I'm immature). But
looking back, that girl knew exactly what she was doing.
Note that age of consent laws in the U.S. range from age 15 to age 18, and the variance in age difference ranges too (four to eight years in some states, no distinction made in others). If this really were the air tight issue joe claims that it is then we wouldn't have such a welter of differing state laws on the matter.
I still want to know why Joe and Steve don't want mentally retarded women having sex.
"Does that mean it would have been ok for a 21-year-old to fuck
her?"
Not to speak for Lowdog, but just because it might not be ok
doesn't mean that the guy should go to jail.
greg,
Don't expect joe to actually understand things like burden
shifting, etc. :)
Born Again Iconoclast,
The term polygamy by its very definition includes polyandry. :) You
are probably thinking of polygyny (one husband, more than one
wife).
Hakluyt,Crushinator:
Thanks for being consistent.
Jennifer, what about you? You think a muslim/mormon woman can
consent to marry a married man? Or is that where you draw the
line?
Crushinator:
But tell me, what person in their right mind would want more
than one spouse? Isn't a single spouse one-too-many
already???
I hear you. Me personally I can't handle more than one spouse even
if I wanted to. But some people dig that.
Hakluyt, Thanks, it's been almost twenty years since I took
anthropolgy.
Oh the pain and humiliation of alzheimers ...
My conclusion on the matter, after reading this obscenely large
number of posts is...
*drumroll*
We are way to damn preoccupied with sex. From the people I know
personally, I can draw a range of starting ages for sexual activity
from 13 to 25(!). And guess what? All of them turned out fine. I
knew girls that got pregnant in high school. But I also know people
in their twenties that got pregnant/got others pregnant
accidentally. And guess what? They're all fine, too.
Certainly sexual activity can be injurous. I don't doubt that there
are risks from STD's, and pregnancy can complicate your life. But I
lose people I know every few years to car accidents, and yet we
still give licenses to 15 and 16 year olds, and younger in some
states.
For those who are concerned about your daughters, the boys that
they date are much more dangerous in the front seat than in the
back. And yet, you don't argue for a legal solution to this much
more real problem.
Sex has risks, but we need to keep them in persepctive. Among the
dangers facing young adults today, sexual activity is one of the
most overemphasized... and one of the least important.
wsdave,
Probably an argument for another thread. However, since we're here,
the point is not that I can't kill him because he is in jail. The
point is that I probably won't try because the state has exacted my
vengeance for me. Now I may not agree with the extent of the
punishment, but should I attempt to exact my own vengeance there
will be a price. Thus the incentive not to. Another example, if a
shop owner rips me off I can take him to court as opposed to
burning his store down and selling his children into bondage.
Didn't think I was raising to divisive a point here. I assumed that
the mitigation of vengeance was a commonly held rationale behind
the rule of law. If not, I'm curious. What do you think the role of
the law is? What am I missing?
Born Again Iconoclast,
...apparently where they came from in Mexico it was not
uncommon for young couples of this age to be married.
That's just the barbarism of primitive people according to joe. Its
gotta be stamped out by the enlightened urban planners like joe
(who for some reason have a similar streak as those involved in the
eugenics movement in the late 19th and early 20th century). First
its Kelo being just too damn stupid to understand her case, and now
its this.
Steve - I can't say without knowing the specifics, but I'm on
Hak/Jennifer's side in this one. I don't see any reason why not,
off the top of my head.
I knew another girl when I was 14 who was dating my neighbour, who
was 18 (she was also 14). I thought she was gorgeous, and totally
wanted to date her, but I wasn't mature enough for her.
I grew up pretty fuckin' rural. Where I'm from, you let people
decide for themselves what they want to do, and you especially
don't let the government tell you who you can associate with, or
fuck.
I'm also all for (as in, I don't have a problem with it) polygamy,
if everyone's consenting, yada, yada, yada...
Haklyut, greg,
I was using the concept of "affirmative defense" in a dicussion of
the moral implications of the act, not its legal status. I was
responding to a comment that asserted that the burden is on those
of us who consider sex with young minors wrong to prove why. The
whole world is not criminal law, you know. Most of it is urban
planning. :-)
andy, your inability to follow logic is surpassed only by lack of
mature emotion. Inhale. Exhale. Read the goddamn post I was
responding to. Ommmmmm.....
TPG, mentally retarded people have low intelligence, which is not
the same thing as maturity, experience, or self-knowledge. A
mentally retarded 25 year old is not a 13 year old. She's an adult
with a low IQ, and that's very different. FWIW, I don't think
really intelligent 13 year olds should be treated as legal adults,
either.
I have no intention of defending the 22 y/o in question. If a 22
y/o guy started hanging around my daughter, I'd start having some
serious heart-to-heart discussions with him. (Up to and including
showing off John Browning's view of perfection.)
Since the marriage is valid in Kansas, a line HAS been drawn, for
those insist on line drawing. This is just testing full faith and
credit. Since Mass. has legal gay marriages -- but most other
places ban them -- I'd say full faith and credit is pretty much
dead anyway.
I see an MSNBC poll on the matter has 57% believing that the couple
should be left alone. I guess we'll find out how a jury feels about
it soon enough.
First the guy who likes to accuse me of making up arguments for
people tells me I want to nationalize the airlines, then he tells
me I based my position on Kelo on what I thought was Ms. Kelo's own
private interest.
That's funny.
Surely you aren't contending that parents should be able to
marry-off their 8 year olds
Did I write such a thing?
If you could logically conclude that from my statement, fine. Such
a practice isn't common elsewhere on the globe, nor is it terribly
common throughout history. So it's kind of a silly point to
make.
But again, why should that be any business of the state's?
My personal feeling is pedophilia is wrong. But why spend so much
effort talkng about it when a) we already agree, and b) it isn't
all that common. The more common and equally disgusting coercion of
children - compulsory education, forced labor, military
conscription - is almost always a government venture.
Why? And don't give me Big Guy in the sky told me so
answers.
Hakluyt-
Don't worry, I won't be giving you any religious answers.
And I should preface all of this by saying that I am not
suggesting my opinions on sex should be enforced by law. I'm just
saying that some things are a bad idea, and in a free society one
can say that something is a bad idea.
In a nutshell, sexual experimentation involves 3 risks. Adults face
the same risks, but they are better equipped to handle them.
1) Pregnancy (if not done properly)
2) Disease (if not done properly)
3) Emotional
Don't worry, I'll get to the most controversial reason in a second.
But on the first two reasons, I don't have a lot of confidence in
13 year-olds to exercise good judgement and use precautions
properly. This girl obviously didn't. (One might speculate on
whether she would have been more assertive about birth control if
the guy had been younger and she had been in a stronger position in
the relationship, but that's admittedly speculation.)
OK, about emotional repercussions: Most people get their heart
ripped out and handed to them when they start dating. It's
inevitable. It's part of life. We learn from it, and we get used to
it. But all of these things get even more complicated when there's
sex involved (and even more complicated still if somebody gets a
disease and/or pregnancy). There's nothing wrong with sex between
consenting and mature people, and even adults get hurt in
relationships, but I subscribe to the novel view that it's better
to not rush in and try to experience everything that adults
experience when you're only 13. It's better to get some emotional
maturity and experience in life. How much? I dunno. More than a 13
year-old has. And I realize that's an ambiguous statement, but I'm
not calling for a law. "I known it when I see it!" may not be a
good basis for law, but it's a damn good basis for living and
giving advice.
Do I want to legislate this? Hell no! Do I want to scare kids into
thinking that sex will scar them for life? Hell no!
But I will urge my kids to get a little more emotional maturity,
and a little more experience under their belts, before they add
that element to their relationships. Is that really so strange of a
notion, that sex is better if everybody involved has a little
emotional maturity? That relationships are complicated enough when
kissing is the most that's at stake? That maybe they'll be happier
if they move gradually with these explorations rather than jumping
in head first at the age of 13?
Finally, I want to say this loud and clear: If I have a 13 year-old
daughter and she gets pregnant, she WILL NOT get married and keep
the baby! I don't care if we have to get on a plane and go to some
other state or foreign country where the adoption laws are
different, but no 13 year-old daughter of mine will be keeping a
baby!
A-
I don't think the government should have anything to do with
marriages at all, but so long as it sticks its nose in where it
doesn't belong then it should grant marriage licenses to ANYBODFY
who wants them, straight gay or polygamous. I know that in Mormon
fundamentalist communities polygamy has led in many cases to
basically child sexual abuse (by which I mean 13-year-olds who did
NOT consent), but I think a lot of those problems stem from the
illegality of it--same way I'm more likely to get burned buying bad
pot than bad booze, because in the former case I have no legal
protection.
Oh, on age differences:
I met my wife when I was 22 and she was...well, older than 22 (I'm
not dumb enough to give away our age difference). I was starting
grad school, she had returned to school and was in the middle of
her program. We were in similar places in life. We were mature
people.
The maturity difference between 13 and 22 is a lot bigger than the
maturity difference between 22 and...well, older than 22.
More accurately, I'm not dumb enough to announce her age to the world. She wouldn't like that.
I don't know what to think. On the one hand, I don't think the
State has any real business in the sexual relationships of two
people, but on the other hand, I don't want to send the message
that a rapist* can escape prosecution by convincing the victim's
parents to consent to marriage. That strikes me as the sort of
situation that our society has spent the past five or so centuries
distancing itself from.
*Not saying that the present situation is anything like this, but
if this were allowed I can easily see it becoming justification for
future cases just like that one.
Joe: "andy, your inability to follow logic is surpassed only by
lack of mature emotion. Inhale. Exhale. Read the goddamn post I was
responding to. Ommmmmm....."
I did, you pompous [expletive deleted]. You were implying that a
six year old and a thirteen year old have equal inabilities to know
when they're being exploited/abused. While some 13 year olds are
dumber than bricks, not all are. BTW, why don't you try responding
to my other points?
ralphus,
Law are enacted to control behaviour (most often that "society"
doesn't like). The punishments associated with a law are what makes
people follow it. People do drugs because the joy is worth the
risk. MANY less people commit murder for the same reason.
Do you think that if murder had no punishment, there wouldn't be
more of them regardless of whether it was "against the law" or
not.
As for mitigating vengance, if someone killed my wife and child
because they chose to drive drunk, nothing short of their death is
gonna do it. They made the choice and must be held responsible for
their actions. Sorry, 2 years of defered jail and losing their
license for 3 years ain't gonna do it.
"People do drugs because the joy is worth the risk. MANY less
people commit murder for the same reason."
That is making a pretty big leap. Many less people commit murder
because its wrong not because of the punishment. Many more poeple
do drugs than commit murder because it is perfectly moral thing to
do in most cases. Jail as deterence is generraly not effective at
reducing crime because most criminals do not anticpate being
caught, and the ones that dont mind being ccaught or expect to be
caught dont care how extensive the punshment is.
joe,
I was using the concept of "affirmative defense" in a dicussion
of the moral implications of the act, not its legal
status.
Right (said with a Bill Cosby accent). Sure you were. :)
joe, you specifically denigrated the IJ, and acted like they were
playing Kelo for a dupe, a stupid and ignorant dupe that is (I
doubt you'd have the courage to say this Kelo's face though). That
is both a judgment concerning the IJ and Kelo as well. Its also an
illustration of the elitism that you go for. BTW, I've reiterated
this point enough times for you to look foolish in your "playing
dumb" routine.
thoreau,
This girl obviously didn't.
Why obviously? Maybe she wanted to get pregnant.
...but I subscribe to the novel view that it's better to not
rush in and try to experience everything that adults experience
when you're only 13.
The problem with this of course is that you are making an
artificial and culturally-bound distinction between being a
"teenager" an and "adult." Until you can get past you are just
spinning about in a Godelian box. :)
Has anyone yet come up with a good reason why regular rape laws are insufficient for prosecuting sex with younger types? I still dont see why a jury or judge couldn't possibly decide when a person, regardless of age, has given meaningful consent or not.
Jennifer,
You are absolutely right. Why should the state be involved in
marriage at all? It seems to me that the only purpose is to
recognize a pooling of resources. Why couldn't this be performed as
a business protocol? The people involved could simply file a DBA or
Articles of Incorporation. Divorce would lose its social stigma -
it would become a matter of dissolving a financial entity.
I still haven't worked out the issues of parental rights,
definition of family, and child rearing legal responsibilities.
Maybe Rick Santorum could furnish some advice (if he hasn't already
commissioned a hit squad to get me).
greg,
"That is making a pretty big leap. Many less people commit murder
because its wrong not because of the punishment. Many more poeple
do drugs than commit murder because it is perfectly moral thing to
do in most cases"
I'll ask the same of you. If murder is wrong, and people don't do
it because of that, then would taking the punishment away make the
rate go up, down, or have no effect?
Taking that idea further (and bringing it back on topic), if there were no stat rape laws, would more 13s be having sex with 22s?
"The problem with this of course is that you are making an
artificial and culturally-bound distinction between being a
"teenager" an and "adult.""
There's some in here who would argue that precisely because of this
cultural distinction that it becomes a real, substantial one, and
we should therefore treat teens more like kids than adults.
Couldn't the same argument be made for black people? "Oh, niggers
are too dumb/lazy/barbaric for their own good. Granted, it's the
fault of the cultural circumstances of slavery, but still, we
shouldn't give them the rights of white men."
Maybe I'm making a false analogy, but am I?
To start with stat rape laws probably have about zero effect on
the amount of sex between 21 and 13 year olds. No one gives a shit
about gov regs when making decisions on sex. That includes 21 year
old male sex decisions.
As for murder well it is difficult to say in a box. If the question
is "If murder was made legal TODAY, would the murder rate go up
tomorrow?" the answer is yes.
But that is a false question, because it assumes the present
condition that it has been illegal under common law for hundereds
of years. The real question is if common law never outlawed murder
in the first place would murder be more common now, and I think the
answer is no.
Murder rate is culturally driven (mostly) and has little to do with
deterence effects FROM THE LAW. In the absence of OFFICIAL
punishment for murder I am sure most people will defend themselves
from murders (even group and hunt them for protection) even if the
law made no mention of it being a crime.
Secondly, most people do not consult the law before committing
crime nor do they look to it for moral guidance. I personnally dont
kill people because it is wrong. That is how most poeple including
yourself I image feel about it. Removing the penalty for murder
will not change this. I may temporarily let murderous people think
they could go without punishment, but that would not last. If there
is no law against murder then their certainnly would be now law
against startin up a posse to hunt and kill murders. They would now
that.
wsdave,
I'm not taliking about deterring crime. I�m talking about deterring
vengance. If we as a society determine the punishment to fit the
crime then individuals are less likely to take the law into their
own hands. Am I wrong?
Ralphus,
How is vengance any less a crime (depending on how it's carried
out) than the original crime?
"If we as a society determine the punishment to fit the crime then
individuals are less likely to take the law into their own hands.
Am I wrong?"
Only if the the penalty FITS the crime. As I expressed, it rarely
does. Thus the wronged party can extract their own revenge or, if
they fear the punishment (most often the case), just live with it
(though NOT be satisfied with the outcome).
If a drunk killed your family, would probation be punishment
enough? How about a few years? It happens all the time, because the
punishment doesn't fit the crime.
Russ D: OK, I get it--you are saying we don't need a law for something that is not a problem. That begs the issue of whether parents are allowing their 10 year olds to have sex (I have seen at least anecdotal evidence of this). Humor me, and assume that stuff like that happens--should it be legal, in your view?
I am not drunk... yet. Give me two hours on that. That being said, I am also working on two separate patent applications while I am writing these comments. I don't know if you read patent speak often, but it can do strange things to one's ability to put coherent thoughts out in writing.
andy,
It's a totally false analogy. The reason it's wrong to generalize
about people based on race is because, apart from physical
appearance, people's difference aren't race-based. Age, on the
other hand, is a real difference. Kids aren't adults, and shouldn't
be treated as adults. I do think we infantalize older teenagers,
but 13 is very much a kid.
greg,
"most people do not consult the law before committing crime nor do
they look to it for moral guidance"
That's my point. The LAW doesn't stop people from criminal
behaviour, nor does someone else's punishment stop them from
vengance. Their OWN punishment (most people have a pretty good idea
that murder leads to jail)stops them, so instead they cry on
national TV and demand that a new law (that STILL has no teeth) by
passed to protect the children.
What we need is punishments that fit the crime in the first place,
so people will feel that justice has been done (or vengance
served).
Why obviously? Maybe she wanted to get pregnant.
If that's the case then I stand by my statement that she obviously
didn't use good judgement. Deciding to get pregnant at the age of
13 is not a good idea. Economic considerations alone justify my
assertion.
The problem with this of course is that you are making an
artificial and culturally-bound distinction between being a
"teenager" an and "adult." Until you can get past you are just
spinning about in a Godelian box. :)
Fine, how about "person barely into puberty" vs. "person past
puberty with a little dating experience under his/her belt"?
greg,
So you're saying that of all of human behavior, only the decision
to commit a crime is not influenced by incentives? What if you paid
everyone to commit murder-- would there be more of it then? Of
course there would. And if you remove the punishment, the same
thing would happen.
wsdave,
You're missing the point. I'm talking about the purpose of law, not
whether a particular law or punishment is just or appropriate. The
ideal is that you create a system where grievances can be redressed
by impartial arbiters rather than the individual or a mob that are
likely to exact a toll greater than the offence. If a man steals a
horse he owes you a horse, not his life. This definition probably
applies more to civil than criminal matters, but it still applies.
I am not arguing however that mitigating vengeance is the only
reason for laws. Just one good one. I'm no legal scholar, but I'm
sure most would agree with this general definition of one of the
purposes of laws. If any are present I would love to stand
corrected. I'm always willing to learn.
300+ posts and no mention of Iraq, evolution, Kelo, or Gary
Gunnels' true identity.
Wow, apparently age of consent laws are another favorite topic.
Steve -
"So you're saying that of all of human behavior, only the decision
to commit a crime is not influenced by incentives? What if you paid
everyone to commit murder-- would there be more of it then? Of
course there would. And if you remove the punishment, the same
thing would happen."
No - I was saying that most influential incentive not to commit
crime is living with yourself and your conscience.
I was not trying to say that if you paid people to kill, or removed
all punishment, it would not effect murder. Paying to kill will
increase murder, but only marginally. However, most poeple will not
kill even if you pay them. Hell, in war some people can't kill even
when they are threatened. (See cool scene in Saving Private
Ryan).
Also, removing Government punishment for murder wil
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