Ay, De Mi! Mi Cabeza Esta Rota!

Matt Welch | April 12, 2005

West Virginia sausage-making at its finest:

CHARLESTON, W. Va. - Two days after the end of the legislative session, state lawmakers are discovering something few were aware of: They voted to make English the official language of West Virginia.

Link via Sploid.

Comments

|4.12.05 @ 12:49PM|#

"English the official language of West Virginia"

It would be nice to do that for the whole USA.

|4.12.05 @ 12:51PM|#

Does this mean that everybody in West Virginia needs to learn standard English now? ;->

Whatever one might think of the merits of this law, I oppose any legislation so lengthy that most legislators have no idea what's actually in it.

|4.12.05 @ 12:56PM|#

Ken: No problem, just slip it into the social security legislation.

|4.12.05 @ 1:03PM|#

Official language? How French.

|4.12.05 @ 1:04PM|#

It might be fun to slip in a law like that making French or Spanish or Chinese the official language of the US. Then maybe people would realize that Congress has no F****g clue what they're voting on.

|4.12.05 @ 1:05PM|#

So they're going to start speaking english in West Virginia?

I keed! I'm 1/2 Elevated William-American myself.

|4.12.05 @ 1:09PM|#

As long as we're on the subject of omnibus bills, here's an idea:

Since a lot of this stuff is written by staffers and only skimmed by legislators, get some stealth libertarian onto the staff of a legislator who sits on conference committees for omnibus bills. At the last possible second, the staffer slips in another page. Most of that page has some pork, but buried in the fine print is something that says "All taxation of income by the federal government is hereby abolished" or "The possession, sale, and distribution of marijuana is hereby legal." Make sure that it's surrounded by some mundane pork, so nobody notices.

Then, after final passage, reveal to the world what just happened.

|4.12.05 @ 1:13PM|#

It should be a rule that any piece of legislation is repealed if a simple majority of the legislators slap themselves on the forehead and yell, "D'oh!"

|4.12.05 @ 1:15PM|#

No, no...you wait six months and then announce to the country that all pot convictions for half of the year are null, void and all confiscated property must be returned. That'll get their attention.

|4.12.05 @ 1:16PM|#

"Then, after final passage, reveal to the world what just happened."

Fired. Repealed 10 minutes later.

The difference is that with this law at least 50% of the legislators secretly like the law, they just don't want to admit it. So they'll hem and haw and it's entirely possible that it won't be repealed.

|4.12.05 @ 1:21PM|#

Eryk and sidereal have good points. Wait 6 months so that the repeal of this law doesn't completely erase the positive effects.

|4.12.05 @ 1:25PM|#

Matt, that should be "Mi cabeza está rota!"

gringos...

|4.12.05 @ 1:27PM|#

Kiga touku naru...

Matt Welch|4.12.05 @ 1:27PM|#

Soda -- Dammit, I know you're right, but I got talked out of it by Google Translator (which thought I was saying "this") ... Will try to fix it.

|4.12.05 @ 1:28PM|#

ummm... i think it's Mi cara es roja

I think cabeza means head, and rota means broken. So did he mean to say "my head is broken"?

|4.12.05 @ 1:35PM|#

I think cabeza means head, and rota means broken. So did he mean to say "my head is broken"?

You're right.

I thought Matt meant "My head is broken"

If he meant "My face is red" then he should say "Mi cara está roja."

You still want to use está.

The idiom is not quite right in Spanish anyways. But I think that's Matt's joke. Maybe?

Matt Welch|4.12.05 @ 1:35PM|#

independent worm -- Yes, I meant to say "my head is broken." I think it's very important, when speaking foreign languages, to formulate sentences that native speakers would never utter.

I once wrote an entire terrible song using high-school Spanish, called "My Muchachita" ... filled with all kinds of es/esta mistakes, deliberate verb-tense foulups to maintain rhymes (the chorus was "My muchachita/es muy bonita/y yo necesita/my muchachita"). I used to play it on the streets of Prague, and people liked it just fine ... unless they were Spaniards.

|4.12.05 @ 1:38PM|#

Another thing to consider, throeau, is that the amended language shouldn't be obvious on its face. It should read something like, "Title 20, Chapter 7 of the U.S. Code is hereby repealed" (the chapter mandating anti-drug classes in public schools).

|4.12.05 @ 1:40PM|#

Was ist denn los?

|4.12.05 @ 1:50PM|#

I think it's very important, when speaking foreign languages, to formulate sentences that native speakers would never utter.

Could not agree with you more, and i'm glad to hear that the Czechs enjoyed your song. Myself, i am fond of saying ich bin nicht der Bleistift to passing Germans.

And I find that chanting we are the command shit of hot maximum always gets my Russian soccer teammate fired up (he translates it into Russian inside his head, apparently). However,

|4.12.05 @ 2:12PM|#

Klaatu barada niktu?

Tienen gusto del Nino Rota?

|4.12.05 @ 2:14PM|#

Another thing to consider, throeau, is that the amended language shouldn't be obvious on its face. It should read something like, "Title 20, Chapter 7 of the U.S. Code is hereby repealed" (the chapter mandating anti-drug classes in public schools).

Good point.

Any volunteers to be the libertarian mole inside Congress? I'm too old to pass as a college intern, and I'm a dues-paying LP member. That would show up in a background check.

Any volunteers?

Better yet, if you do volunteer don't say anything, not even anonymously. No need for your comment to be IP traced back to you. Just get an internship, work your way up to a staffer position where you can insert something into a bill, and then work your magic.

Hey, I can dream.

|4.12.05 @ 2:29PM|#

unless they were Spaniards.

Yep. Spaniards are as protective of Spanish as the French are protective of French.

Or as West Virginian legislators are protective of English I suppose.

|4.12.05 @ 3:28PM|#

The term "official language" typically means that the language in question is the only one to be used for government purposes, road signs, etc. It doesn't imply the sort of government control of the language found in France.

|4.12.05 @ 3:33PM|#

Canada mandates bilingual road signs.

|4.12.05 @ 4:19PM|#

KLAATU... BARADA... n--...necktie... nectar... nickel... it's an n-word, it's definitely an n-word!...

|4.12.05 @ 5:07PM|#

I find it amusing to say things like "Tengo ni�itos viviendo en mi nariz."

"ich bin nicht der Bleistift" is definately going on the list.

But "we are the command shit of hot maximum?" Wtf? How does this translate into Russian?

|4.12.05 @ 5:49PM|#

Any volunteers to be the libertarian mole inside Congress? I'm too old to pass as a college intern,

Just tell them you're researching a book on life as a college intern, and offer to give them private details about their interns' lives.

And wear lots of makeup. ;-)

|4.12.05 @ 7:09PM|#

I believe that it's "Klatu Baratta Nicto". I love that movie because it shows how stupid human beings can be. ::::>))

|4.12.05 @ 9:28PM|#

Ahem! Post of April 12, 2005 02:12 PM.

|4.13.05 @ 5:14PM|#

Lord Duppy: My 'bot gives me:
мы быть грамматический определенный член приказывать shit яние) от горячий мама

Glad to be of help!