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Assad's Big Sleep
Look who is asking for regime change in Syria.
PS-Evidently it's a hoax, just to be clear. It did make too much sense...
|3.23.05 @ 3:12PM|#
Anyone have anything on the authenticity of this site? I have my
doubts. After looking through it they have grown. This doesn't
sound very presidential, even for Clinton.
"Chelsea is visiting today. With curly. I hate curly. He is polite,
but I can feel it's fake politeness. He belongs to the East Coast
establishment. I remember we were eating and my wife asked me for
my opinion about a legal matter and this dickhead cut me off and
gave his opinion. Can you believe that? He just came out of
university. What kind of opinion can he have? Based on what? I've
been in politics for 30 years. Same goes for Hillary. I couldn't
believe my eyes. I had a fork in my hand. I swear I was about to
poke his eye out. Chelsea probably saw my face and changed the
subject. I don't like these privileged punks. Wouldn't surprise me
if he snorts cocaine."
|3.23.05 @ 3:18PM|#
Uh, since Bill Clinton has said in the past that he would "grab
a rifle, get in a trench, and fight and die" on behalf of Israel,
how is this a surprise?
And if you think I'm making that quote up, read the news account
here: http://www.papillonsartpalace.com/clindton.htm
|3.23.05 @ 3:30PM|#
I dunno, this stuff is too good to make up:
It�s a strange thing, being a politician. When I was running for
office journalists asked me what my favorite song was. I couldn�t
tell them the truth. My favorite song is �Be my Baby� by the
Ronettes. Obviously I couldn�t say that, because it�s too romantic.
So I decided to say it was �Don�t stop thinking about Tomorrow� by
Fleetwood Mac.
It was the right thing to do at the time. You�re a politician,
you�re telling voters you are going to change politics as they know
it, so what better theme song than �Don�t stop thinking about
Tomorrow�? It was perfect for the campaign.
I do like Fleetwood Mac. Most baby boomers do. If I�m right their
album �Rumors� is still the best selling album in the United
States. Their best song though, is, you will agree and you will
know I�m being honest with you, their best song is �Tell me Lies�.
Am I right or not? I couldn�t use �Tell me Lies� as my theme song
during my presidential campaign.
The problem with telling people you like something, without really
liking that particular thing is the fact that you will be
confronted with that thing for the rest of your life.
I can�t tell you how many times I had to listen to some saxophone
player play �Don�t stop thinking about Tomorrow� when I was
president. It wasn�t fifty or a hundred times, not just here in the
US, but also overseas. I never liked the song, but after all the
times I was forced to listen to it, I genuinely dislike the song,
but that�s my own fault. I was the one, who told them I liked
it.
|3.23.05 @ 3:33PM|#
Uh, since Bill Clinton has said in the past that he would
"grab a rifle, get in a trench, and fight and die" on behalf of
Israel, how is this a surprise?
Because he's not running for anything now.
|3.23.05 @ 3:39PM|#
"Because he's not running for anything now."
He wasn't running for anything when he made the "grab a rifle"
comment either (July 2002).
|3.23.05 @ 3:45PM|#
If this is real, shouldn't it be headline news when Clinton
says, "The Republicans are turning our country into a banana
republic"?
And this little exchange:
"I woke up at three in the morning that night. The former president
Bush was banging on the door, saying �Bill are you awake?� No,
George I was sound asleep. I got out of bed and opened the door.
George told me he couldn�t sleep. My first instinct was to shut the
door. I mean, he can�t sleep? What does he want me to do about
that? George asked me to go to the bar with him and get a drink. He
told me at home in Houston, he and Barbara never went to bed
without drinking a glass of brandy.
I didn�t want to go to the bar. I wanted to go back to bed, but I
thought why not?
I followed him downstairs to the bar. It was just an average hotel
bar, with Thai pop music in the background and a few disco lights.
We sat down and George ordered Chivas Regal. So did I. As soon as
the waiter disappeared a young Thai lady, with long black hair and
a lot of make up on came up to us. She got down on her knee in
front of George and took his hand.
�Daddy� she said. George looked at me. �I think you got the wrong
guy" he said. �Daddy�, she continued �Take me with you to America�.
Bush said �I don�t think my wife will agree to that�. He tapped the
ring on his finger. The girl got up and sat down on his lap,
putting her head on his chest. She said �Adopt me, daddy�.
Oh my God, I had so much trouble trying not to laugh out loud.
George replied �I don�t think Barbara will like that either. You
know we�re kind of happy all our kids are grown up and left the
house�. She pouted. That was when the waiter came back with the
drinks. He started shouting at the girl. She shouted back.
Everybody looked at us. The girl left. George looked at me and
raised his hands. �What was that all about?�"
Don't even get me started on the one legged pigeon story. Eight
years and he never used this anecdote before? And who in the hell
is Bobbi? His replacement daughter? Why's he always talking shit on
Chelsea's man, the weasel? I'm not buying it, but if some one can
manage to sell it with something to authenticate, I'll admit it is
pretty f'in hilarious.
|3.23.05 @ 3:50PM|#
If this really is Clinton, you have to be a little wistful upon seeing the guy's eloquence, whether or not you agree with his views. Perhaps the ability to write a coherent paragraph or two on geopolitics should be considered natural if the writer-in-question was once the leader of the world's most powerful nation-state, but when you consider that the Oval Office's current occupant has trouble matching the rhetorical skills of Chief Wiggum, it helps put things into perspective.
|3.23.05 @ 4:03PM|#
I can't believe this is really Clinton, given his concern for
his image and legacy. Hell, he's a politician, and an
extraordinarly skilled one at that. (That was not intended as a
compliment at all.) He's probably retired from political life, but
his wife isn't. Even granted that he has a demonstrated reckless
streak born of supreme self-confidence, I can't imagine Clinton, or
anyone in the public spotlight with half a brain, putting this
stuff out in public.
Also, that whole "he should have used 'Tell Me Lies' for his
campaign theme song instead of 'Don't Stop Thinking About
Tomorrow'" bit comes straight out of the Rush
Limbaugh/freerepublic.com joke collection.
Jesse Walker|3.23.05 @ 4:08PM|#
Of course the site is a joke. If Bill Clinton started blogging,
he wouldn't use a blogspot address; and I don't think he'd make
offhand comments about playing Internet poker either. He certainly
wouldn't write
this:
Kevin Spacey persuaded me to go club hopping with him. I
must've danced with hundreds of ladies and gentleman [sic]....So
there I was dancing in a gay bar. How do you dance without actually
touching anybody? I mean, I can dance or shuffle around is a better
word, when I have Hillary in my arms, but I don't think that's the
way I want to dance with any man. So I did my John Travolta
imitation. You know the dance with the pointing finger.
I had a great time. I danced with Kevin, with Bobbi, with
Kevin's boyfriend (his long term boyfriend Dana Brunetti. This is a
different one from the poker game toy boy). We danced to Frankie
goes to Hollywood - Relax!, ABBA and "I feel mighty real" and a
thousand other disco hits.
When "This is my life" was played, Kevin declared the club
officially dead and we went to a hetro hotspot.
Big mistake. I had to dance with dozens of drunk English women
in their twenties and thirties. That's not bad. Until they try to
forcibly kiss you by the dozens. That's not bad. Until there was a
massive catfight between large groups of women over who was going
to dance with me next. They were pulling each other's hair, biting,
scratching, pulling each other's dresses off and I swear I saw one
of them threaten other girls with her lipstick. I have no idea why,
but it worked. None of the women came anywhere near her. It was
unbelievable.
I also assume that Michael realizes that it's a joke, and is
linking to it on the grounds that it's funny.
|3.23.05 @ 4:11PM|#
Two fun links on a Weds? It looks like all the bitching over the actual Friday Fun Links has caused a resurgence. The free market works!!!
|3.23.05 @ 4:13PM|#
I wasn't sure if it was a joke I was missing or if maybe some of
the sillier posts hadn't been viewed.
Here's the icing:
"I woke up this morning. Looked to my right. Thank God Hillary�s in
Washington. I really don�t have the stomach to be with her today.
I�m in that mood where I just want to be left alone. I got up,
scratched my lazy ass and went downstairs. Didn�t even bother with
a bathrobe."
|3.23.05 @ 4:32PM|#
You know, until I delved into the site I thought you guys were
making these quotes up, but man, this shit is fantastic!
"Roger has broken out of the detox clinic in Arizona and fueled by
booze and drugs he is running amok in LA�s seedy clubs and strip
joints. Oh God, sometimes I really hate my family. Why can�t they
leave me alone for one damn moment? I had such a good time in Asia.
Why can�t I be happy?"
Whoever is writing this stuff is better than Robert Smigel and Jon
Stewart combined!
|3.23.05 @ 4:33PM|#
Yeah I've been following this blog for a few weeks now. Whoever
writes it is a genius. It'll sound almost legitimate for a few
posts, then he hits you with something like grinding with Kevin
Spacey or rescuing his brother from a coke binge.
The author deletes all comments suggesting it's a fake, but I'm
amazed how many people are taken in.
|3.23.05 @ 4:35PM|#
Readers of the blog dedicated to my Burning Man book were hepped to this much-preferable version of Pres. Clinton last August. He used to have an Amazon associates link to my book, but took it down--in fact, temporarily took the whole site down--shortly after I linked to it. Strange. Glad he's going again.
|3.23.05 @ 5:04PM|#
I agree with Brian, the Clinton that comes across here is about as funny, thoughtful and likeable a guy as you could hope for. If somebody's trying to make him look bad, they're sure doing a terrible job of it. In fact, I half suspect, Clinton is paying some dude to write this stuff.
|3.23.05 @ 5:41PM|#
It looks like fan fiction to me. A fan of a tv show writing his own stuff about his favorite character.
|3.23.05 @ 5:51PM|#
I find that I fall for satire when my partisan opinions get so ahead of my rational brain that all critical faculties flee, and I fall for anything that validates what I wish to hear.
|3.23.05 @ 5:54PM|#
The link to This Is Burning Man makes me suspect a Burner involved, or maybe a Cacophony Society member. Elaborate and inspired prank. And yeah, a Clinton critic wouldn't even make the association.
|3.23.05 @ 6:20PM|#
Okay, I can't resist. Here's another one:
I used to play football myself in high school. I was pretty good
too. I was a really big kid. I was towering over everybody in my
class and everybody was always teasing me about it.
I remember we had this very important game against a high school
from Prescott, Arkansas. I had broken through their defenses and I
was home free, except for one scrawny little kid. Instead of moving
to the side, he tried to block me. With my size I knocked him over.
He fell to the ground and screamed like a baby. I kept running, but
I thought, with my size, maybe I broke his neck. I stopped and went
back to him. I crouched down next to him. I said �Are you Ok?� The
little weasel grabbed the ball, passed it on to his team mate and
they scored a touch down.
We lost the game and instead of playing against other teams during
the summer our team couldn�t do much else, but lick our wounds and
practice for the next season. It wasn�t just my fault we lost. We
lost really heavily. We just weren�t that good a team, you know?
But this didn�t keep the team, the high school and the whole town
from blaming me for the loss.
So every time we had to practice, and one of my team mates fell
down, he would say �Oooh help, call sister Bill�. In high school
they were calling me �nurse Clinton�. It�s no fun if a whole town
hates your guts and you�re just twelve years old. It was then that
it became clear to me that I had to get out of Hope.
Well anyway, I stopped going to practice and not long after that I
quit the team. The result of this decision was my heart by-pass
operation a few months ago. If I had kept up my condition as it was
when I was in the team, I would�ve been healthy right now.
This is the reason I get mad at parents, who don�t force their kids
to participate in sport. They say �Well, little Timmy doesn�t like
to sweat�. Well maybe little Timmy likes a heart attack when he�s
in his late fifties and spend the rest of his life scared to death
not surviving another one.
It�s important for kids to exercise. It will strengthen their
lungs, it will grow their heart and it will keep them healthy. If
you don�t work out as a kid, you will never be able to do so as an
adult. I tried, oh so many times to get back into shape, but it was
impossible. If you don�t build it up from childhood, forget it. So
my arteries clogged up and I almost died.
All because of a jerk from Prescott, Arkansas. Aaron Johnson, is
his name. I bet he still lives there. The little town hero. I still
have a score to settle with you, Aaron.
|3.23.05 @ 7:10PM|#
He wasn't running for anything when he made the "grab a
rifle" comment either (July 2002).
I knew I should've checked that link before I tried being funny.
;)
|3.23.05 @ 9:38PM|#
So Michael Young fell for THIS?
Somebody tell this guy:
http://www.tomgpalmer.com/archives/cat_the_fever_swamp.php
|3.24.05 @ 8:35AM|#
If Bill moved to Hot Springs, Arkansas before high school, he
would not have been playing Prescott. My HS played Prescott, Hope
(where he was born), and Malvern (BB Thornton's home town). Hot
Springs had much larger schools, so were not in the same league, or
district, or whatever. All those towns were and still are pretty
small, 10K or so population then, 10-20K now. Hot Springs was
probably 50-100K then.
I'm the same age as Bill. If he was in Hope, and playing, I would
have played against him. I think he did his HS in Hot Springs,
though.
|3.24.05 @ 9:12AM|#
"So Michael Young fell for THIS?"
That's not surprising given Michael's blind obsession with regime
change in Syria (and other middle eastern countries on the neo-cons
list).
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