The Blue-State Blues

Matt Welch | February 22, 2005

It's Bozo Day in California, otherwise known as the state legislature's deadline for submitting stupid-ass bills this session. Among the stinkers listed in this L.A. Times info-grahpic (reg. required):

* A $500 fine for displaying "sexually explicit material in a vehicle in public."
* Sixteen-month prison sentences for adults who "knowingly and unlawfully consum[e] controlled substances in the presence of children under their care."
* A ban on schools using the mascot "Redskins."

My favorite, though, is the "Truth in Sports Advertising Act," proposed specifically by Santa Ana Democrat Tom Umberg to punish my favorite baseball team for using the admittedly comical name "Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim."

Under the bill, California pro sports teams that use one geographical area in their name but play in another would have to disclose that fact, in much the same way federal law requires cigarette containers and advertisements to include warnings about the dangers of smoking.

The bill would require disclaimers in letters at least 12 inches high on billboards and for at least five seconds in television ads, among other restrictions.

Comments

|2.22.05 @ 2:10PM|#

the Truth in Sports Advertising Act will also permanently prohibit Clippers fans from chanting "We're number 1!"

Steve Smith|2.22.05 @ 2:16PM|#

What's cool about the Umberg bill is that it won't apply to any potential NFL team, so when (cross your fingers) a local community finally spends some redevelopment cash to build Spanos Stadium, the team can still use "Los Angeles".

It's hard to believe that there are still high schools that use "Redskins" as a nickname, much less having a Redskin mascot.

|2.22.05 @ 2:47PM|#

A football team with a disrespectful name plays two disrespectful seasons. I say chose another name for the team. How about the Washington Pandas. They are cute and cuddly and they don't have to do anything for their fans to show up and
spend hard earned money.

|2.22.05 @ 3:00PM|#

I dunno, I kind of like the idea of the Umberg bill. I mean, most New Yorkers would rather have the Jets associated with NJ. If only they could get the Mets to move there.

|2.22.05 @ 3:10PM|#

The Boston Red Sox (which is to say, World Champion Boston Red Sox, masters of all they survey) play in an old ballpark, in one of the densest parts of the city, with inadequate parking, in a stadium being rehabbed entirely with private money, which seats the fewest fans of any ballpark in the majors.

They manage to do ok.

The New England Patriots (which is to say...) plan in a completely privately financed stadium. They, too, manage to do ok.

Just throwing that out there the next time a billionaire starts whining that he needs some dough for a stadium or he'll go broke.

|2.22.05 @ 3:14PM|#

What if we throw in some CDBG money, a bike path, some low income housing and a couple of TDRs?

Just wondering.

|2.22.05 @ 3:30PM|#

Come on, there's nothing more hillarious than a team named The The Angels Angels. How cool is that?

For more dissing of Anaheim, my hometown, in the original Trivial Pursuit, the answer to "What city is Disneyland in?" was "Los Angeles." Those fuckers never gave me the damn pie piece.

Apparently, Sue (Swingers) isn't the only one that can't distinguish them.

|2.22.05 @ 3:35PM|#

I was too lazy to register to read the article. Did they also ban the "palefaces" and the "blackfaces" for team names? I hear these names are quite popular in NJ. What about the "Drunk Fuggin Indians"? Another biggie, I'm sure.

Seriously though, where does it stop? How about "Tomahawks", or "crusaders". Both could make some thin-skinned person squirm a little. (no offense meant to those who really do have thinner-than-average skin) (none meant to those with relatively thick skin either - there is nothing wrong with that and it isn't your fault)

I was gonna do a yahoo search for a few oddball high school team names to make the point of how easy it is to be offended if you look around long enough and WANT to be offended. 'found this site which has a good list going:

http://www.tekonsha.k12.mi.us/scaa/teamnames.htm

|2.22.05 @ 3:39PM|#

Would it be ok for a school on a reservation to use "redskins" for their school mascot?

People really do need to lighten up, methinks.

|2.22.05 @ 3:39PM|#

I especially like: Frogs, Sand Devils, Criminals, Hillbillies, Rice Birds, Golddiggers, Meloneers, Cornjerkers...

it just goes on and on...

|2.22.05 @ 4:27PM|#

A $500 fine for displaying "sexually explicit material in a vehicle in public."


Anyone who's rolled up on an SUV playing porn on the DVD player will understand this one...

PintofStout|2.22.05 @ 4:44PM|#

My high school's mascot was a Rebel. We had a confederate flag and everything!

Mike|2.22.05 @ 4:46PM|#

remind me again how it came to be
that being a stupid american is a desirable trait
wouldn't it be offensive if we cheered
"rah rah rah" we're the Carolina negroes with a beat box cheer and a big foam afro
the Minnesota Vikings became the New York kikes with dollar bills on their helmets
cause thats what they're like ya know

|2.22.05 @ 5:05PM|#

"I especially like: Frogs, Sand Devils, Criminals, Hillbillies, Rice Birds, Golddiggers, Meloneers, Cornjerkers"

Isn't this whole political correctness thing passe?

I want to make a law that says that every major league team out there has to have a name that is insulting to a large group of people.

New Hampshire Crackers
Carolina Negroes
San Francisco Faggots
New York Kikes

and so on and so forth. I think that skit was already done in 'Baseketball', but it would still be cool. Lets recognize that people naturall stereotype, and lets make sport of it.

|2.22.05 @ 7:40PM|#

Somehow, I knew joe would be able to work those comments in here somewhere ...

|2.23.05 @ 12:39AM|#

kkwais Some of those names apparently are not considered offensive by the groups they describe. For instance, "Crackers" was the traditional name for Atlanta professional baseball teams ("Braves" is a holdover from the current team's origins in Boston). So traditional that the Negro League team was named, oddly, the "Black Crackers".

|2.23.05 @ 1:48AM|#

kwais,
Detroit Dune Coons?

|2.23.05 @ 3:18AM|#

Joe can brag all he wants about the Sawks and the Pates, but those damn chowds won't get the Stanley Cup! By God, we've made sure of that.

You can thank us later.

|2.23.05 @ 10:15AM|#

One smalltown Illinois high school was known as the Pekin Chinks. They are The Dragons now.

See:

http://www.halcyon.com/marcs/mascotdrop.html

I'd be in favor of preventing the Los Angeles National League club from traveling under the legendary cognomen, Dodgers. I wouldn't pass a law, though. An MLB rule would do fine. When the second Cleveland NFL franchise* took off for Baltimore, they were told to leave "Browns" behind, so the League could bestow it on an expansion team. Unfortunately, "Colts" was not available for the ex-Browns' use.

Kevin

* The 1st Cleveland NFL team, The Rams, split for L.A., then bolted to St. Louis.

|2.24.05 @ 4:51PM|#

"One smalltown Illinois high school was known as the Pekin Chinks. They are The Dragons now."

How could they resist calling themselves the Ducks?