Aristocratic Humor

Nick Gillespie | January 24, 2005

Today's Wash Post has a story about the hottest film at the Sundance Film Festival: a documentary called The Aristocrats.

For the uninitiated, "The Aristocrats" is a legendary comic routine that is given a personal twist by each performer. Its legend stems from the fact that it is a relentlessly filthy shtick:

This is the joke: A performer walks into a talent agent's office and says, wow, does he have an act, a family act. This is the setup. It is always the same. But then the joke teller proceeds to improvise, describing -- sometimes for many, many minutes -- the father, mother, kids, pets, grandparents, and their despicable, degrading, horrible acts of interfamilial, mmm, inappropriateness.

It is like the Kama Sutra penned by the Horned One. A cruise to the Ninth Circle of Hell.

At the end of the joke -- and this part is always the same, too -- the talent agent asks: "So what do you call this act?" And the punch line is: "The Aristocrats."

Whole story here. The back story that's interesting: Though the documentary is packed with comics such as Drew Carey (read his filthy and very funny Reason interview here), Robin Williams, Phyllis Diller, and Don Rickles, it may not get a distributor because the language is so bad.

One of the main people behind the film is Friend of Reason Penn Jillette of Penn & Teller and no stranger to issues of free expression (read his recent Reason interview here).

The best part of the film (which I haven't seen) is rumored to be Gilbert Gottfried's post-9/11 version, delivered at a Friar Club's roast just weeks after the 2001 terrorist attacks--and right after Gottfried bombed with this gag:

"I have a flight to California. I can't get a direct flight," Mr. Gottfried said. "They said they have to stop at the Empire State Building first."

The NY Observer glossed Gottfried's version of The Aristocrats here.

Comments

|1.24.05 @ 4:31PM|#

This sounds utterly awesome!!!

Jeff|1.24.05 @ 5:05PM|#

I saw the documentary about the Friars' Club once, which featured lots of handheld footage of blue language spouted by the likes of Jimmy Stewart and John Wayne.
Like so many films that had distribution problems (the original edit of Blair Witch, and the Stauart Gordon Fantastic Four film), this will end up all over the internet.

|1.24.05 @ 5:47PM|#

I'm going to have to get a copy of The Aristocrats if it comes out on DVD. (Note to self: Do not mix this up with the Disney cartoon about the talking cats.) The Friars Club documentary that Jeff mentions sounds intriguing too.

B|1.24.05 @ 5:53PM|#

I don't get the punchline. Could someone please explain it to simple ol' me?

|1.24.05 @ 6:32PM|#

Trey Parker and Matt Stone (the South Park guys) did a hilarious version of this joke, as told by Eric Cartman. Man, was it filthy! And did I mention hilarious? I'm sure it can be found all over the peer-to-peer networks.

|1.24.05 @ 8:33PM|#

Gilbert Gottfried may be the funniest man on the planet.

|1.24.05 @ 8:56PM|#

I don't get the punchline. Could someone please explain it to simple ol' me?

Well, I'll take a shot. First, it's crucial to understand that when the agent asks, "What's the name of this act?" by "act" he means the group peforming the actions on stage -- as in "The Partridge Family" or "The Von Trapps" or "The Flying Wallendas" -- not the actions being performed, like the name of a play or something. So this family peforms all these depraved acts, and then it's revealed that they call themselves "the Aristocrats," which is perhaps the last thing you'd expect. There is probably also the subtext that real aristocrats are depraved.

OK, it really sounds stupid and unfunny if you try to explain. It's probably funnier to see (or imagine) the person telling it than reading about it.

|1.24.05 @ 9:10PM|#

Aristocrats, as in the in-bred European Aristocracy which purported itself to be better than commoners.

|1.24.05 @ 9:16PM|#

It's also probably funnier if you hear the long, detailed middle. It's one of that species of joke that depends on a surprise after a long period of suspense for its humor.

Like the joke about The Amazing Kabuzki. The Amazing Kabuzki was a famous magician who traveled the globe, delighting audiences across the world with his amazing magic.

One evening The Amazing Kabuzki told his audience, "I'd like to end this performance with a very special feat of magic that has never been seen before. May I have a volunteer from the audience?"

A young man steps up. "We've never met before, have we?" asks The Amazing Kabuzki. "No sir, we have not," the young man replies.

"What I'd like you to do," says The Amazing Kabuzki, "is to take this sledgehammer -- go ahead, heft it, feel it, and verify for the audience that it is indeed a real sledgehammer. Now, I want you to wind up and hit me in the head with the sledgehammer as hard as you can."

Reluctant at first, the young man lets The Amazing Kabuzki talk him into it. He winds up, swings the sledgehammer and hits The Amazing Kabuzki in the head wth it.

The Amazing Kabuzki drops to the floor like a sack of potatoes and lies very still. The audience screams. A doctor rushes onstage: "Something's gone terribly wrong! The Amazing Kabuzki is barely alive! He must be rushed to the hospital!"

An ambulance whisks The Amazing Kabuzki away.

For twenty years, The Amazing Kabuzki lies in a coma. Each day, a different relative takes turns sitting at his bedside, watching for signs of life.

For twenty years, they wait by his side in vain.

Finally, one day, the relative holding vigil sees The Amazing Kabuzki's eyelids flutter and his lips move. She calls in all the relatives.

They gather, speaking excitedly among themselves. Suddenly The Amazing Kabuzki's eyes snap open! He tries to pull himself upright in his bed. "The Amazing Kabuzki! He's trying to say something!" the relatives cry.

Slowly, painfully, The Amazing Kabuzki pulls himself into a sitting postion. Blinking, he looks around at his gathered friends and relatives. For a few moments, his mouth works without making a sound. Then he deliberately inhales, opens his mouth and says:

"Ta da!"

Franklin Harris|1.24.05 @ 9:55PM|#

Stevo Jokekiller, ladies and gentleman! Be sure to catch him at the Sands every Tuesday and Thursday!

|1.25.05 @ 2:09AM|#

As dumb as the Amazing Kabuzki joke is, once you tell it to someone, you can make them laugh for the rest of the day just by going up to them and saying, "Ta da!"

|1.25.05 @ 8:17AM|#

I always thought "The Aristocrats" did depraved sexual acts to begin with so I guess I never got the joke!

While visiting my girlfriend's house (for the first time) on Thanksgiving Day right after dinner we retired to the family room to watch football. While watching the game the family cat came in and sat on the floor. Next the family black Poodle came in and proceeded to bone the cat! No one said a word. I then said "that it looks like Spike likes to get a little Pussy now and again". They were actually mad at me for bringing up what happened right in front of us all!

I then found out that the cat was a male and it happened all the time.

I then protested that it wasn't right that the cat should be abused in that manner (I guess some abuse is ok).

I was then asked to leave for causing a disturbance in their house.

To me that family was an example of "The Aristocrats".