New at Reason

Tim Cavanaugh | December 30, 2004

What do Barry Bonds' creamy goo, Ashlee Simpson's leaky throat sphincter, and George Tenet's soggy yellowcake have in common? G. Beato finds out.

Comments

|12.30.04 @ 8:37PM|#

I feel that G. Beato really failed to adequately portray the complete acceptance of responsibility undertaken by this administration so far.

Case in point: Donald Rumsfeld. He takes Behalf-Responsibility to new heights.

Remember that when addressing the armor-foraging complaints of Spc Thomas Wilson, Rumsfeld accepted complete responsibility (on behalf of the "struggling" armor retrofit facilities currently upgrading the tin cans called Humvees, as if there is no earthly way we could possibly jumpstart more facilities).

Oh, and he also accepted complete responsibility for the initial lack of such armor as standard-issue (on behalf of the urgency of his own war planners, which meant you "go to war with the army you have", no time for messy details like force protection if you're in that big of a hurry).

Wait! Hold on, now, can he actually accept complete reponsibility on behalf of himself?

Can we get a call from the ref?

|12.30.04 @ 10:30PM|#

WHY 2004 SUCKED

People who died this year:

Ray Charles
Chris Reeve
Captain Kangaroo
Rodney Dangerfield
Marlon Brando
Johnny Ramone
Jerry Orbach
All those poor souls in Sri Lanka

People who didn't die this year:

Jerry Falwell
Julia Roberts
Michele Malkin
Michael Moore
Michael Savage
L. Brent Bozell
Jenny McCarthy
Jeremy Rifkin
Anna Nicole Smith
O.J. Simpson
Laura Schlessinger
Shania Twain
Joan and Melissa Rivers

Nuff said.

Good-bye 2004, and good riddance.

|12.30.04 @ 10:46PM|#

I dunno. Jenny McCarthy seems kind of cool and funny. Agreed though, the rest of those people can't die soon enough.

"Boyish fuddy-duddy Rich Lowry" . . . that's funny. . . he's like the skinny slightly more socially adept nerd to Jonah Goldberg's smarter, tubby, more awkward nerd. And they hang out because no one else will hang out with them. You could probably match up everyone in the rightwing blogosphere to a character in Revenge of the Nerds if you wanted to. Maybe I'll do that some day.

|12.31.04 @ 1:01AM|#

Sorry, I forgot the most obvious one: Paris Hilton didn't die thie year, either...

Kevin Carson|12.31.04 @ 6:59AM|#

I'm glad he gave Ashlee Simpson a good thrashing. Believe it or not, Jessica isn't the stupid cunt of the family.

|12.31.04 @ 11:20AM|#

Jim, great list but you forgot Ann Coulter, Bill O'Reilly and Tucker Carlson :-) Kevin, I agree, could those Simpson sisters be any more annoying? I watched about 2.7 minutes of the Ashlee show on MTV. What a waste of time...

|1.1.05 @ 12:01PM|#

Please, delete Shania from that list. It's Mutt Lange* who belongs on it. Shania's a treat for the eyes. I'd sure like to know whether she can sing or not. :)

Kevin

*Her evil, Svengali-producer husband. And I'm kidding. They've got a kid, and I don't wish death on his Dad.