What They Don't Report

Michael Young | June 28, 2004

As the coalition turns over sovereignty to the Iraqis, the good news is that most of them are still alive. The Onion reports.

Reason needs your support. Please donate today!

Try Reason's award-winning print edition today! Your first issue is FREE if you are not completely satisfied.

← Detainee Roundup | Main | With great but disproportion'd Muses →

See all 12 comments | Leave a comment

Editor's Note: We invite comments and request that they be civil and on-topic. We do not moderate or assume any responsibility for comments, which are owned by the readers who post them. Comments do not represent the views of Reason.com or Reason Foundation. We reserve the right to delete any comment or disable your ability to comment for any reason at any time.

|6.28.04 @ 2:17AM|#

I laughed my ass off when I first read this a few days ago. (I posted it at the end of the Skewering al-Sadar post a few days back since Hanah was looking for some good news in the Iraq situation.)

|6.28.04 @ 2:41AM|#

Hey Cheez,
The handover was officially scheduled for June 30, they moved it up two days to keep the bad guys off balance. A brilliant move in my opinion. Everybody was kept in the dark until this morning.

|6.28.04 @ 3:45AM|#

Thanks kwais,

I don't have a wall calendar and thought my swiss made watch had gone wobbly. Either way, it looks like I'll have a couple extra days to plan for a BBQ on the 3rd of July.

|6.28.04 @ 7:32AM|#

The article you link contains an inaccuracy as it lists the hand over date as June 30th, not June 28th.

|6.28.04 @ 8:10AM|#

I say this as a long-time fan of 'The Onion' -- I am still waiting for the Onion article with the title:

"Satirists trivialize removal of dictator who would have squashed them all like bugs"

It might describe, in detail, what sort of punishment might have been meted out to Onion writers, had they lived in Saddam's Iraq. It might feature a picture of a mound covering a mass grave with little markers where each of the writers would have been buried--hands still bound with wire ties and a single bullet hole in each skull--and another set of markers of a different color for the family members of the writers who were also killed, tortured, and executed.

|6.28.04 @ 9:05AM|#

Mark W,

pfthbith...(a raspberry extended to you).

Get a life, the onion, and this article are called humor. You would be amazed at the benefits of having a sense of humor. Perhaps someday you might get one too. Good luck to you on that.

|6.28.04 @ 9:48AM|#

Actually, if you define the Iraqi population as consisting of all Iraqis presently living, zero percent of the Iraqi population has been killed.

Using circular definitions for self-serving purposes should be popular at the Pentagon, seeing as how circular reasoning proves to be a favorite of the Office of National Drug Control Policy: http://www.mediacampaign.org/mg/transcripts/tr_ploy.html

|6.28.04 @ 10:49AM|#

Skepticos,

The Onion is *satire* -- what I was suggesting was, indeed, satire. Not light-hearted, laugh-out-loud funny, but then neither is 'the vast majority of Iraqis are still alive'. It seems to me that what I suggested was very much satire in the vein of the Onion (e.g. 'My husband would have loved democracy, says Iraqi widow' was an earlier Iraq headline--a rough approximation, at least).