Nothing's Shocking

Jeff Taylor | August 29, 2003

At 20 MTV is showing its age. Have Madonna, Britney Spears, and Christina Aguilera bring faux lesbo to basic cable? Yawn. Now if the trio had kicked off the network's Video Music Awards sporting Les Pauls and covering a Molly Hatchet or April Wine fret fest, we'd all still be agape. Hell, a few windmilled A-chords, something, anything different from this crew.

Comments

Living in a Van down by The Ri|8.29.03 @ 1:07AM|#

Cribs makes me feel small and insignificant.

David|8.29.03 @ 1:15AM|#

"Music videos" are inherently a contradiction. Music is something to listen to, not "watch." I was there in 82/83 when MTV began, and after about 1 year, I realized that all "music videos" are stupid, pointless, and blasphemous to Music.

And yes--I remember April Wine--they actually toured through my town not too long ago...

|8.29.03 @ 1:20AM|#

'Roller' by April Wine:

Gonna catch a flight to Nevada
Leave her friends at home in L.A.
Seven come eleven or blackjack
Gambling night and day yea

Cause she's a roller now, a high roller baby
She's a roller yea, a high roller baby

She likes to play for double or nothin'
She's tellin' all the boys she's hot
And everybody knows she's ready
To give it everything that she got

Cause she's a roller now, a high roller baby
She's a roller yea, a high roller baby

People try to tell her she's crazy
She doesn't hear a word they say
Tellin' all the boys to get ready
Cause she's givin' it all away

Cause she's a roller now, a high roller baby
She's a roller yea, a high roller baby

Cause she's a roller now, a high roller baby
She's a roller yea, a high roller baby

Bye-bye, bye-bye, bye-bye...

dhex|8.29.03 @ 2:18AM|#

blasphemous to music? when was the last time you went to a concert where the performers were hiding under a box because it would detract from the purity of sound? (ok, i can think of several i've gone to, but i think we probably have different tastes)

i mean, fuck. visual elements have been a part of musical entertainment for as long as there has been musical entertainment.

for the record i have no idea what apple wine is/was.

dhex|8.29.03 @ 2:24AM|#

and i haven't had cable in 10 years. i really don't think i'm missing much, except i heard mtv had a show that was all chicks in underwear making out a few years back, which sounded pretty promising.

Hugh Detritus|8.29.03 @ 2:44AM|#

Man, Britney didn't spend much time on the "innocence" portion of her stellar reinvention process. If she is mimicking Madonna she should be getting close to her "Like a Prayer" phase where she openly abandons her religion. What a star!

|8.29.03 @ 3:00AM|#

MTV jumped the shark years ago when they decided to stop playing music videos and dedicate almost all of their schedule on this whole entertainment schtick. Now doing the VMA's are a joke. They're praising entertainers that they talk about but will not air their videos. The VMAs NEED the sensationalism just to get people to watch the show.

|8.29.03 @ 3:14AM|#

'I was there in 82/83 when MTV began, and after about 1 year, I realized that all "music videos" are stupid, pointless, and blasphemous to Music."

It took a whole year???

It's nice to know some things never change.

Madog|8.29.03 @ 4:00AM|#

It might just be me, but I think G4 (computer & video games channel if you haven't seen it.) has the chance to be the next big thing in cable channels that cater to the youth. They remind me a lot of MTV in the earlier days - they're low budget, the hosts aren't very good, and their programming is limited. All of that means they really focus on the games and not the phenomonon.

http://www.g4tv.com/html/home.asp

Madog|8.29.03 @ 4:04AM|#

Another plug for G4 - Cinematch and Starcade are awesome. Cinematch might be the gamer answer to music videos.

|8.29.03 @ 4:20AM|#

MTV2 is the way.

Douglas Fletcher|8.29.03 @ 5:00AM|#

Maybe if they were feeling each other up too there might've been a story. I guess.

Rob|8.29.03 @ 9:07AM|#

Am I the only one who thinks that Madonna has officially "Jumped The Shark"?

Franklin Harris|8.29.03 @ 9:26AM|#

Madonna jumped ages ago. She hit rock bottom with her cameo in the last Bond movie, which was the worst acting I've seen since "Battlefield Earth."

erf|8.29.03 @ 10:19AM|#

Why are their separate categories for Best Video, Best Male Video, and Best Femal Video? Does that mean "Best Video" is composed completely by genderless pop hit generating software?

dhex|8.29.03 @ 10:27AM|#

if they insist on broadcasting all this stuff and doing this whole mtv thing, faux lesbo pics on yahoo the next morning is the most preferable outcome for someone who doesn't have cable like myself.

ave faux lesbo!

|8.29.03 @ 10:31AM|#

Every year I watch the VMA's and every year they keep getting worse.

Watching Kelly Osbourne and Avril Lavigne (two very, very young women with exceedingly dubious musical backgrounds) present Duran Duran with a Lifetime Achievement award just seemed utterly stupid. Shouldn't they be awarded by one of their peers perhaps?

It's this sort of thoughtlessness on the part of MTV's style over substance that just churns my stomache.

Want more? MTV continuly mixed Johny Cash with Justin Timberlake and Eminem. That's like mixing fine cognac with Zima. Zimply awful.

At one point the network censors were bleeping (well really they just cut the sound) the word "bitches", but not "hoes" and 20 minutes later they flip flopped - cutting "hoes" but not "bitches". Utterly clueless.

I'm in my late 20s and realize that MTV simply isn't for me anymore - it's for the kids. But I like to keep up with it... in some cases it is on the cutting edge - but mostly it's just bland entertainment.

As for Madonna - don't knock her too hard - she's a complete pussy cat... I think she was the best looking woman there last night. We'll see how good Britney Spears and Christina Aguilera look at 45 after they have poped out a few kids. I doubt they will even be making their so-called music.

Paul Philp|8.29.03 @ 10:48AM|#

Madonna riffing April Wines 'Coulda Been a Lady' would indeed have been a moment.

Who still knows about April Wine?

Paul

|8.29.03 @ 10:52AM|#

What did they sing, "When I'm 64"?

Madog|8.29.03 @ 11:13AM|#

They're just trying to copy those russian girls in Tatu.

zarconimmo|8.29.03 @ 11:51AM|#

Ave faux lesbo!

Nuh uh. Ave vrai lesbo!

|8.29.03 @ 11:59AM|#

Will - I agree. I'm age 29, and I feel far too old for MTV. I think Viacom has decided that VH1 is for old farts like me. MTV is for the under 21 crowd. By the way, do they ever play videos on MTV anymore?

|8.29.03 @ 12:03PM|#

They actually do play the occasional video. I think they play an hour or two of videos a day. But they tend to be the same bling n' hoochie fests you can see on BET on heavy rotation. Not missing much.

|8.29.03 @ 12:18PM|#

Reminds me of this.

dude|8.29.03 @ 12:30PM|#

You know. . . I think of MTV as a profoundly conservative cultural phenomenon. Sort of an updated Dean Martin Celebrity Roast or phoned-in Bob Hope special from the 70s. Except without the drunk old people. Well, except for Ozzy. Really, does anything suprizing actually happen on it? Anything new? It's as barren as Clear Channel if you're hoping to encounter some sort of interesting music. But, like someone said above, it's for kids.

joe|8.29.03 @ 12:34PM|#

MTV was a lot better in the 80s, when they actually played music. Stupid 'Beach House' crap.

I'm going to go break my hip now.

|8.29.03 @ 12:56PM|#

The infuriating thing about MTV is its (more rare nowadays) occasional brilliance. It produced what I thought was the most compelling news program I've seen in some time, on professional video game players (including a past Pac-Man champion and the reigning Golden Tee title holder).

MTV was also ahead of its time on the ol' reality TV front (The Real World, which somebody should stick in a time capsule).

But 99.9 percent of its programming sucks. And panders to teenybopper "bands" and their "fans."

Martha|8.31.03 @ 3:18AM|#

"MTV simply isn't for me anymore -- it's for the kids."

Whose kids? Yours, maybe. Mine won't get anywhere near that rot.

Mack|8.31.03 @ 3:21AM|#

"visual elements [on TV] have been a part of musical entertainment for as long as there has been musical entertainment."

(Sure, Dhex, as long as you don't blink.)

I, too, was there in 1983 when MTV began, and I, too, began to realize that all "music" videos are stupid, pointless, and very, very annoying to watch -- every scene lasting only about a fraction of a second.

My eyes just aren't built like those of a housefly.

|9.2.03 @ 3:45AM|#

Video killed the radio star