Captain Phillips, Machete Kills, and CBGB

Tom Hanks goes to sea, the Mexican avenger returns, and a punk-rock chronicle flames out.

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There’s also a feeling of trade-offs being made at every turn. Could the fact that we see so much of Hilly’s daughter Lisa (Ashley Greene) have something to do with the related fact that the real Lisa is one of the movie’s co-producers? And what about having Sting’s daughter, Mickey Sumner, play Patti Smith? Might that in any way have enabled the use of the Police track Roxanne in a performance scene toward the end? Just asking.

The casting is largely bizarre. Harry Potter vet Rupert Grint comes off best, adeptly playing Dead Boys guitarist Cheetah Chrome as the lovable doofus he was. (It must have helped to have the real Cheetah on set to provide guidance.) But Malin Akerman—of all people!—bears no resemblance whatsoever to Blondie’s Debby Harry; and Kyle Gallner is preposterously un-Lou-like as Lou Reed in an interview scene.

The music, of which there isn’t enough, is sadly disappointing. The big hole at the heart of it is the lack of Ramones tunes—really: CBGB without the Ramones. (The band’s conservators wisely denied permission for Ramones music to be used.) And the groups we do see playing—actors impersonating Talking Heads and Television and so forth—climb onto the cramped CBGB stage and deliver big, glossy renditions of famous songs taken right off the original records, which is very silly.

Rather than waste time seeing this movie, you’d be better-served just re-reading Please Kill Me, Legs McNeil’s peerless punk-rock oral history (from which many of the anecdotes in the film appear to have been lifted). CBGB just isn’t punk enough.

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  • Fist of Etiquette||

    I hope the picture in the teaser for this post is from Captain Phillips. That would be kickass.

  • Tommy_Grand||

    Good reviews.

  • Mint Berry Crunch||

    Maybe I need to watch the first Machete again. I remember thinking the fake trailer from Grindhouse was hilarious, then being completely underwhelmed by the actual movie. Could be I just wasn't in a silly enough mood when I saw it.

  • ||

    One is by Tom Hanks, and it’s a striking reminder of what a meticulous and affecting actor this most likable of Hollywood stars still is.

    I must be the only person in the universe who thinks Tom Hanks is a wooden, 1 dimensional scale-rate actor who achieved superstardom largely by rubbing cocks with the equally-overrated Steven Spielberg. Finding out he's also a statist fuck was unsurprising given it's Hollywood, but is actually low on the list of reasons I think he's most deserving of the leading role in a snuff film.

  • Juice||

    Hey! Wow, someone else hates him too!

  • RBS||

    Yeah, well he's got a the beetus now so he's a fucking hero...

  • ||

  • triclops||

  • triclops||

    sorry, that wasn't it.

    Here is the great one:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ILIvPzyK_8I

  • Killazontherun||

    Speilberg isn't overrated. He's an obnoxious fuck, emotionally manipulative, creates a great deal of shmaltz, even the thought of ET can get my blood boiling, but to do what he does you have to be enormously talented. In between those movies you rightly hate him for, ET, Schindler's List, AI (though some damn decent scenes here and there, what a phony ass set up for the ending), etc., there are some really first rate movies like Empire of the Sun and Jaws.

  • Juice||

    this most likable of Hollywood stars

    Then why does he annoy the shit out of me to the point that I can't stand to hear his voice?

  • R C Dean||

    Most likable = least annoying? As in, other Hollywood stars will annoy the living fuck out of you, so he's still the least annoying?

  • OldMexican||

    MA-CHE-TEEEEE!

  • Almanian!||

    I love Danny Trejo, and am glad he's risen from "that guy who's a badguy in all those movies" to Star Level.

    He's a car guy, so...

    Bueno

  • Skip||

    "Abdi, born in Somalia and raised in Minnesota, has never acted before. When he and three friends heard about an open casting call for the movie in Minneapolis (a city with a large Somali community), they turned out to audition for the parts of Somalian pirates; to their own amazement, they got hired. "

    One could get the idea from this that the vast majority of actors and actresses are grossly overpaid, leading them to compensate by embracing extreme liberal white guilt-related political views.

  • John Thacker||

    Well-designed analysis of box office returns has demonstrated that "stars" basically don't matter for selling a movie. There's simply too many people capable of acting well; one's as good as another in most cases.

  • DarrenM||

    With more 'animated' movies, it's only the voice acting that matters. This opens up the number of people who can 'play' a part, i.e., increases the supply of actors. Eventually, we'll get to computer-generated voice acting that will replace actors altogether, or at least drive down their salaries. However, there will always be a demand for cult symbols. I can see even these being computer-generated, as long as noone knows.

  • WTF||

    One could get the idea from this that the vast majority of actors and actresses are grossly overpaid, leading them to compensate by embracing extreme liberal white guilt-related political views.

    Yes, they get paid millions of dollars for dressing up and playing make-believe. And they get this life and fortune through extreme luck. So they of course have no idea how the real world works, and assume anyone else who is successful also just got lucky.

  • jace||

    Yes. This has been a pet theory of mine for years. You go out to Hollywood, get a waiter/bartender gig, room with 2 or more aspirants and bam! your lucky break. Now, one of your roommates was taller, more handsome, had more casting calls, etc. but now you're the star. Not only the unwashed little people clamoring for a picture, along w/ paparazzi but Kings, Emirs, Princes and Presidents want to grace your celebrity. You have 'won life's lottery' and darn it that's just not fair. Couldn't something make it better for the little people Shouldn't gov't make it better?

  • Knarf Yenrab (prev. An0nB0t)||

    Greengrass doesn't have many films under his belt for an old-ish guy, but I don't know if there's more than a handful of directors I'd put in his league over the past decade. I even admired the shit out of Green Zone, from the little I can recall of it.

    Maybe Tarantino, PT Anderson, and Nolan. Ang Lee if we push it to the 90s.

  • Ketogenic Paleo||

    Captain Philips I wanted to see until I saw that white guilt trailer where the pirate whines about not having opportunities like in America. This review mentions the overfishing myth as well, when many pirates are ex-military and other non-fishers.
    Hint: it's not the lack of jobs, but the presence of millions in ransom money, that attracts Somalis to piracy.
    There's no way I'm watching a movie that's going to try and guilt-trip me into rationalizing the behaviours of a group of pirates because we're so rich and because globalization and whatever.
    Also I'm sure black American conservative thinkers like Sowell and Williams would agree, the best thing you can do for poor black people is to lower the standards of acceptable behaviour for them and let your white guilt keep you from criticizing anything that might be wrong in their subcultures.

  • Ketogenic Paleo||

    Ok maybe I'm being too political and need to relax... but I lived through both In Time & Elysium; I'm a little paranoid.
    (In Time was so absurd it couldn't be taken too seriously especially as it depicted white people outside of Africa dying of poverty; Elysium was annoying not just for its serious attempts at propaganda but its weird American ethnocentrism, as if the whole world is the Mexico/US border... tut-tut liberals, so much for multiculturalism)

  • herbisonmatilde||

    my friend's step-sister makes $84/hr on the computer. She has been laid off for nine months but last month her check was $21144 just working on the computer for a few hours. Continue Reading
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  • fxds1994||

    I just seen this movie (5:15 pm 10/11/13). It is a work of art, and in keeping with his fantastic ability to act, Tom Hanks puts on a stellar performance in this movie. It is worth every Pennie spent. Well worth buying the Blue-ray DVD when it hits the stores.

  • Teaganl||

    Since I started fre+lancing I've been bringing in $90 bucks/h… I sit at home and i am doing my work from my laptop. The best thing is that i get more time to spent with my family and with my kids and in the same time i can earn enough to support them... You can do it too. Start here.for more work detail go to tech tab.
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  • carminahultgren||

    my buddy's aunt makes $87 an hour on the internet. She has been laid off for six months but last month her payment was $19984 just working on the internet for a few hours. great post to read
    ===========================
    http://www.works23.com
    ===========================

  • juliajuli314||

    my roomate's mother makes $82/hour on the internet. She has been without a job for 9 months but last month her check was $15166 just working on the internet for a few hours. look at this now
    =========================
    http://www.works23.com
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