5 Govt Videos Every Bit as Terrible as the IRS Star Trek Parody

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Back in 2007, the prohibitionists at the White House Office of National Drug Control Policy (ONDCP) created an elaborate website that followed the adventures of pith-helmet-clad explorer Dr. Barnard Puck and his assistant Baldrick as they tried to study potheads in their native habitat. The results were more embarrassing - yet no less trippy - than a Dude, Where's My Car? marathon.

The ONDCP has scrubbed the "Stoners in the Mist" site and its long-form videos from the web and all that remains (like an LSD flashback) is this short promo for the series.

NEXT: Worst. Indiana. Jones. Knockoff. Ever.

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  • Counterfly||

    You know who else insulted the average taxpayer...

  • Hugh Akston||

    Sam Kinison?

  • Hugh Akston||

    Wait, no, Don Rickles. It's Don Rickles, right?

  • ||

    Rodney Dangerfield?

  • Linda518||

    If you think Philip`s story is unbelievable..., 3 weeks ago my aunt also made the small fortune of $5476 working fourty hours a month at home and they're friend's sister-in-law`s neighbour has done this for 9-months and brought home over $5476 part time On there laptop. apply the guide at this site... jump15.com

  • Drax the Destroyer||

    I'm sure Dane Cook was involved.

  • ||

    Are his initials B and O?

  • ||

    Ernst Stavro Blofeld?

  • ||

    The federal government steals your money under threat of death and then frivolously pisses it away on useless shit? Tony will tell us this is right and proper...because.....all profits are illegitimate? All money belongs to the government? We didnt build that?

    Help me out here shithead.....

  • Drake||

    It's all stimulus. Without it we would all be living in desperate poverty.

  • Libertarius||

    You just don't understand the nuances of putting green ink on paper in the absence of any rational, logical standard. You might be able to build railroads, grow corn, perform an appendectomy, fly an airplane or operate a CNC machine, but the government and it's heroic bureaucrats are charged with the herculean task of putting ink on paper, extorting it back from those who produce its value, and then wasting it profligately and masterfully.

  • sarcasmic||

    Multiplier effect. That $60K turns into like $80K or something when government spends it. Government creates value out of thin air. It's magic!

  • Doctor Whom||

    You libertarians are committed to the principle of [straw man], so if you were smart like me, you'd also believe in [non sequitur].

  • ||

    Winner.

  • Ska||

    You have the worst mad libs book I've ever seen.

  • ||

    Ooh, ooh, let me try!

    You libertarians are committed to the principle of inferiority, so if you were smart like me, you'd also believe in cake.

    Creativity Tools
    Random Word Generator (Plus)

  • phandaal||

    Magnificent.

  • Loki||

    Because this gives film school dropouts jerbs. Jerbs created or saved, FTW!

  • some guy||

    Hey, hey, hey. Tony is only for the good spending, not the bad spending. The bad spending was obviously a mistake that shouldn't have happened and more regulations need to be put in place to prevent it from happening again in the future.

  • Copernicus||

    The White House tour money had to somewhere.

  • Raven Nation||

    Wouldn't it be "interstellar poon hound?

  • ||

    So how much is $60K in quatloos?

  • ||

    Nice Gamesters of Triskelion ref.

    +1

  • ||

    Seemed apropos given the picture.

  • ||

    I tried to watch the star trek video. 40 seconds into it I wanted to grab my shotgun and blast the computer screen.

    Disband the fucking IRS.

  • Matrix||

    I though Kingdom of the Crystal Skull was the worst Indiana Jones knockoff ever.

  • Loki||

    THEY'RE RAPING HIM!!!!

  • ||

    Out of the videos shown here, that one was probably my favorite. The writer was able to give them pretty good lines up until the "bond" part, and the dad and daughter actors seemed to know what they were doing. But there's only so much you can do with bad material.

  • Alan Vanneman||

    Nick, is this how you spend the Koch's hard-earned money?

    When I was in, yes, Vietnam, the Army ran anti-drug commercials on Armed Forces TV. The classic of classics shows this guy toking up on patrol. His buddy says "Are you smoking that stuff again?" "Don't bring me down, man," he replies, "I'm enjoying the war!" Cut to psychodelic shots of the guy waving his machete to some dreamy trip music, followed by shot of him and his buddies dead on the ground.

    Also, classic anti-drug commercial aired once right here in the U.S.A.: Middle-class white guy nervously entering prison, encountering an endless series of large, "ethnic" dudes muttering things like "Um-umm! Fresh meat!" Now, whom could that offend?

  • SugarFree||

    "The government used to make stupid racist commercials, therefore it can make stupid, slightly less racist home movies forever."

    LOGIC!

  • ||

    Alan....Alan....I realize that the scenario in the anti-drug film you saw was complete horseshit, but if you had followed the spirit of it's advice your brain wouldnt be dead on the ground now.

  • OldMexican||

    Re: Alan Vanneman,

    Is your objection based on the ubiquity of badly-made informative videos created by the government, rendering any comment on them redundant or futile, or is it because you simply don't like it when people point out the big waste of time and money that is the government?

    Which one is it? I can tell you that you would show honesty if you said it was the latter; it would still paint you as a raving and crazy statist zealot, but an honest one at least.

  • ||

    OM what he is trying to say is "tu quoque".

    It's all they've got. Well that and BOOOOOSSSH!!

  • Enough About Palin||

    This is your brain:

    This is your brain on Anal Vanneman:

    Any questions?

  • OldMexican||

    "So I watched that IRS video. I am appalled at the utter waste of US tax dollars," tweeted Shatner yesterday.


    Alan Vanneman is appalled at the apparent waste of Koch dollars not more than 2 or 3 posts ago. Talk about priorities... or acid trips.

  • ||

    We got yoga, we got dancing, we got storytelling.

    Nice English language skills, there, FLOTUS.

  • phandaal||

    Eat yo' veg'tables!

  • Wind Rider||

    My faves were the 'stop smoking' spots they put on Armed Forces Television where commercials go. Became my cue to light up another one.

  • Agammamon||

    Remember, AFRTS doesn't have commercials - just things that break up the show that look an awefully lot like commercials.

    But they're not commercials.

  • omaninom||

    Hello guys, please visit the next link for helping a good friend to safe his house. I wish you all the best. Sorry for Off Topic.
    http://www.amazines.com/articl.....id=5562697

  • ||

    Have to do better than that, AnonBot. Libertarians don't have "friends" and if we did, we tell them to shoulder personal responsibility and save their own damn house because CORPORASHUNS.

  • phandaal||

    The Übermensch does not help anyone safe his house.

  • Ken Shultz||

    "So rotten that William Shatner, who played Capt. James T. Kirk on the original series..."

    Are there really people out there who know what Star Trek is--but don't know who William Shatner is?

    To my ear, that's like telling people that Van Halen's original guitarist was Eddie Van Halen.

  • sarcasmic||

    Wait a minute. Sammy Hagar didn't play lead?

  • NeonCat||

    Maybe Nick was stressing the "played" part, in case any of us thought ST was a documentary.

  • Ken Shultz||

    Maybe Gillespie fears Generation Y only knows Star Trek from the recent reboot movies--and the future with Gen Y in charge really will be like living in a fucking nightmare.

  • phandaal||

    "The children now love luxury; they have bad manners, contempt for authority; they allow disrespect for elders and love chatter in place of exercise. Children now are tyrants, not the servants of their households. They no longer rise when elders enter the room. They contradict their parents, chatter before company, gobble up dainties at the table, cross their legs, and tyrannize their teachers." - Socrates

    Sorry if the whacko birds on your lawn are bothering you. Those of us in the Millennial Generation who actually take charge of things will do just fine.

  • Ken Shultz||

    You've got it all backwards, Buddy Ro!

    My problem with Generation Y is that they do none of those things.

    They have good manners.

    They have NO contempt for authority!

    Disrespect elders?! Gen Y won't even disrespect their own parents.

    Contradict their parents?! Has there ever been an American generation that got along with their parents better than Gen Y?

    Tyrannize their teachers?! They do what they're told.

    You've got it all backwards--but thank you for pointing out the stark contrast between the way rebellious youth is supposed to be--and the pathological deference to authority that practically defines Generation Y!

    Don't trust anybody under 30!

  • phandaal||

    Gah. I'll go put some dirt behind my ears.

  • phandaal||

    Or, wait... I WON'T! Or whatever. Rage!

  • Calidissident||

    And yet members of the under 30 crowd are the most likely to support libertarian candidates compared to older generations.

  • phandaal||

    That's only pussies in their libertarian dorm rooms, obviously.

  • Agammamon||

    Well some people may know him from his more popular work on "TJ Hooker".

  • Mickey Rat||

    Star Trek: TNG is over 20 years old now. There are about four times as many Star Trek franchise episodes that do not star Shatner as do.

    I would not be surprised if there were not a large contingent of twenty-somethings who only know Shatner as Kaley Cuoco's dad, the shits.

  • Fist of Etiquette||

    Do you have to report all your winnings wagering on the newcomers?

  • fish||

    Down to last MF'ing quatloo!

  • sarcasmic||

    When Shatner wasn't badly acting he was acting badly.

    *rimshot*

  • Being Waterboarded||

    OT, but interesting:

    Panera Restaurants have several restaurants with menu items that allow the customer to pay whatever they want. So, a poor person could go eat there for free. Interestingly, these places still turn a profit, as there are enough people who pay more than the suggested price to offset those that pay less.

    What I take from this finding is more evidence that Americans are charitable enough to help out there fellow man so that government redistribution is not necessary to stop kids from starving in the street.

  • Being Waterboarded||

    Oops! Linky

  • Ken Shultz||

    "What I take from this finding is more evidence that Americans are charitable enough to help out there fellow man so that government redistribution is not necessary to stop kids from starving in the street."

    I'd also cite the fact that in the United States, the poor tend to be fatter than the rest of us.

    Starving in the street? Probably not. But they may develop diabetes. What's the solution from prog types?

    Limit the serving size of things like sugary sodas! Where else on earth are the poor so disproportionately fat that people in the government consider it necessary to try to restrict their food intake?

  • Being Waterboarded||

    Yup. What is interesting to consider is that most people that are fat are that way because of personal choices. The fact is, there is plenty of healthy food available at prices just as low as the junk food (how much is a can of beans?). Thus, poor people are fat in large part due to bad decisions regarding their food intake (or exercise regimen - which is also cheap/free). Perhaps it is not too much of a stretch to speculate that (for many) they might have also made poor economical decisions along the way somewhere, too, to contribute to their economic strife.

  • some guy||

    Just like most poor people (over the age of 20) are poor because of personal choices. Personal choices really are the first-order driver of everything that happens in most people's lives. ("Most" because every now and then someone gets hit by a bus or develops leukemia or something. At that point personal choices, such as buying insurance, are the second-order driver.)

  • Being Waterboarded||

    Yeah, that's my point. I've heard the tired argument that poor people are obese or have poor eating habits because of their economic situation. That's BS in most cases. Furthermore, I think that one reason progressives argue so vehemently that the obesity of the poor is caused by the economic situation is because if one credits personal choices as the first-order driver instead, then it is easy to start recognizing personal responsibility for other issues, too. Poor decision makers in one area (health) might well be poor decision makers in other areas, too (wealth).

  • Agammamon||

    Healthy food is cheaper than the junk I eat. If I changed my diet to vegetables and rice and cut out the fatty and sugary foods I'd probably drop most of the extra poundage I'm carrying - even without a huge amount of exercise - and save money doing it.

    But fuck that.

  • some guy||

    Obesity among the poor is yet another problem caused by the free market that must be remedied by government regulation!

  • Agammamon||

    Well you're not wrong about the first part - still, it beats the opposite condition governments kept people in for a thousand years.

  • ThatSkepticGuy||

    "It's never-ending mission is to seek out new tax forms, to explore strange new regulations . . ."

    Shitty quality and waste of stolen money aside, this thing is fucking insidiously Orwellian.

  • Jim Walsh||

    Has anyone mentioned those godawful PSAs for Social Security, featuring the cast from the old Patty Duke show...

  • Number 2||

    "Dr. Barnard Puck and his assistant Baldrick"

    Did Baldrick have a cunning plan?

  • E Blackadder||

    If you want something done right, kill Baldrick before you start.

  • honestgrifter||

    This wasn't the first time the Feds have used Star Trek to promote statism here are a couple of star trek advertisements for social security:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uD90_rqxaIg
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U5kZJFEKAko

  • herbertkperry||

    If you think Melvin`s story is flabbergasting,, last pay-check my bro basically also brought home $9266 working a ninteen hour week from their apartment and their neighbor's mother`s neighbour done this for four months and recieved a check for more than $9266 part time at Their laptop. applie the information available on this page http://2tu.us/6mll

  • Question of Auban||

    I actually like Incubus, the use of Esperanto actually makes it more spooky. Very effective direction as well.

  • Paul Sand||

    I have to admit, I like the Barney video. I think they should divert 5% of Education Department funding to making White House pet videos. (And then just delete the remaining 95%)

  • coradaved||

    as Raymond implied I am inspired that a student able to make $8012 in 1 month on the computer. have you read this site
    HTTP://JUMP30.COM

  • jeffcng||

    what Valerie implied I'm taken by surprise that a person able to make $9303 in 4 weeks on the internet. did you look at this web page http://www.fly38.com

  • juliusaugustus||

    The IRS is a private delaware corporation

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