5 Scenes from a Sequestered America

Q: How bad is it going to get out there? A: Not very.

(Page 4 of 6)

thefinereport.comthefinereport.com

3. TSA Lines Are Getting Longer - But Only in the Future.

CBS News reports thus:

On Monday, Homeland Security Secretary Janet Napolitano told reporters that major airports had seen lines ballooning to 150-200 percent their normal size. The Transportation Security Administration later clarified that it was not yet seeing longer-than-normal checkpoint lines.

Got that? Lines are getting longer except where they're not. At least not yet. But you just wait and see.

Meanwhile, the Wall Street Journal talked to honchos at various big airports. "We haven't seen any delays out of the ordinary," said a person from San Francisco's international airport (SFO). DHS officials had said that there were major delays at Miami's airport and at New York's JFK over the weekend, though "a JFK airport spokesman said he hadn't received any reports of unusually long lines since Friday," when the sequester began. And neither the Miami nor JFK spokesmen reported any trouble this Monday. It all sounds, what's the word? - "Devastating!"

Next: Is Sacremento Burning...?

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  • Pro Libertate||

    It's total chaos here in Tampa, with martial law barely able to maintain even a semblance of order. I had to siphon gas from an abandoned truck just to get to work.

  • InlineSkate||

    Work? My building was looted and completely destroyed.

    It's chaos out here.

  • Brutus||

    St. Louis is a smoldering ruin, with shootouts everywhere and corpses littering the streets. Of course, it's always like that here.

  • DJF||

    Its so bad that I think the Vice President has advised everyone to have a shotgun and shoot through the door if they think they are in danger

  • AlmightyJB||

    I do that randomly anyways. Just in case.

  • Homple||

    Joe Hairplugs should have a chat with Oscar Pistorius how that works out.

  • Brett L||

    Luckily, lawmakers have been pouring in from across the state to stabilize Tallahassee.

  • Paul.||

    I had to siphon gas from an abandoned truck just to get to work.

    Ha! You've got it good in Tampa... where I live, things be so tough, we don't even have abandoned vehicles!

  • Pro Libertate||

    I know--we stole them.

  • Gladstone||

  • Bardas Phocas||

  • Fist of Etiquette||

    The sequester sneaked into my room last night and fondled my genitals.

  • Jordan||

    I'm liking this sequester thing more and more...

  • Paul.||

    The sequester is Warty?

  • AlmightyJB||

    It's an alias.

  • burserker||

    the sequester jester fingered my anus, without lube...

  • AlmightyJB||

    shocking!

  • dalewalt||

    It's not much better in Pittsburgh. The Three Rivers most likely will run red with the blood of the poor and disabled, and, thanks to the sequester, the Pirates will probably have another losing season. Even worse, Big Ben will have to cut back to molesting just one woman a week. Oh the humanity!

  • itsnotmeitsyou||

    Buildings are crumbling here in Cleveland. Roads have fallen apart. Roving gangs shoot old ladies. Industry has shut down. The river is on fire. The lake is draining... So, as we call it... Thursday.

  • Enough About Palin||

    Pikers at an Exhibition

  • ||

    Out of a total of $6.6 billion in funding for the program, $543 billion is on the chopping block

    Huh?

  • Gladstone||

    It now says "million." Fixed Typo?

  • ||

    looks like it

  • Fist of Etiquette||

    Made you look like a FOOL.

  • ||

    Why? cuz i found a typo 20 secs before Nick did?

  • Jordan||

    The sequester leaves no more funding for the laws of the universe. Mathematics is no more.

  • gaoxiaen||

    Thank God. I can drop calculus class.

  • Enough About Palin||

    "Thanks to Republican obstructionism in Congress"

    Eat shit and die, bitch.

  • Gladstone||

    Boehner and McConnell are like extremist radical ancap libertarians.

  • Doctor Whom||

    Words and concepts have long since ceased to mean anything. I read in the comments section of a Washington Post article today that Robert Moses -- Robert Moses! -- was an example of the profit motive run amok.

  • ||

    Not only does power corrupt, it also distorts reality. A lot.

  • Rights-Minimalist Autocrat||

    She should just go right into MILF bukkake in 2017. She obviously threw away her sense of shame long ago.

  • ||

    I have a feeling that captain zero's shenanigans over the sequester are just a warm up performance. Facing no election getting a pass from most of the press....we aint seen nuthin' yet.

  • Sevo||

    "Facing no election getting a pass from most of the press....we aint seen nuthin' yet."

    Campaigning 24/7, 365!
    Al campaign, all the time!

  • Ted S.||

    YOu know who else ain't heard nothing yet?

  • Brutus||

    Bachman-Turner Overdrive??

  • Nicole260||

    Bella. I agree that Philip`s posting is unbelievable... on monday I got a new Car from having made $7552 this past 5 weeks and over ten-grand this past munth. it's by-far the easiest work Ive had. I actually started seven months/ago and practically straight away startad making over $72 per/hr. I follow this website, jump15.com

  • Almanian!||

    No wai, fer reelz! Kewl!

  • Ted S.||

    I know Chicago's bad, but I didn't realize Nicole has been reduced to spamming H&R about her sex-cam work.

  • Almanian!||

    it seems heartless indeed to screw poor moms and their kids

    "Heartless", "awesome" - tom-ay-to, tom-ah-to...

  • Hugh Akston||

    Holy shit you guys, the Federal department holding the San Andreas fault at bay has been completely sequestered. We've had earthquakes ranging from 3.6 to 11.0 every hour since the sequester. Well we estimate, anyway, since the USGS's budget growth for next year was reduced by 2.6%, there's no more money for seismograph ink.

    Also, we think the earthquakes are coming every hour. But all the clocks have stopped since the sequester.

  • Pro Libertate||

    We're having sinkholes due to the federal government no longer pumping money into the ground to support everything.

  • Hugh Akston||

    All the federal spending that made the LA climate so pleasant is gone, ProLib. We're starting to see actual weather here. It's total chaos.

  • Doctor Whom||

    We were supposed to have snow today, but I don't see any. I guess the big, bad sequester cut away our snow budget.

  • Pro Libertate||

    There's probably not a snowplow to be found in LA, huh?

  • gaoxiaen||

    That's okay. The cops still have tanks and helicopters.

  • ||

    I hear there are predictions that water will fall from the sky in LA tomorrow, if we were not living through sequestrapocalypse I would not believe such a thing.

  • Pro Libertate||

    Water. . .from the sky?

  • Hugh Akston||

    There's no such thing, ProLib. Every Angeleno knows that water comes from Oregon and Colorado.

  • itsnotmeitsyou||

    No, it comes from the toilet.

  • Paul.||

    Huh, nothing is happening where I live, because the sequester has hit us so hard, time has actually come to a halt. I'm posting this from the past.

  • johnl||

    article = article.replace("place care", "place card")

  • Proprietist||

    things are surprisingly...uneventful

    You mean except for that North Korean regiment that has successfully invaded parts of Dallas, right? Thanks to the sequester, a shotgun is the only thing standing between me and certain death.

  • Ted S.||

    If the Norks want to kidnap Jerry Jones and take him back to DPRK, I'd almost be OK with it.

    Pesky non-aggression principle!

  • Proprietist||

    I told the soldiers he was the most powerful man in Dallas and sent them his direction. Hopefully the Norks will leave me alone...for tonight.

  • Mr Whipple||

    Thanks to Republican obstructionism in Congress, the nation was forced into the sequester last Friday

    This is really beginning to make me physically ill. How long can you keep blaming someone else and not be called a "Punk-Ass-Bitch"? He's been president for 4 years and he still can't get a simple budget through Congress? If he is really this bad of a "leader", he needs to resign. Srsly.

    And, with all of the airport delays, when do they start issuing travel restrictions? Currently, if you are on a list, you are not allowed to fly. Soon, you need to be on a list to be able to fly.

  • Libertymike||

    He's a racist, affirmative action, inarticulate without a teleprompter, Punk-Ass-Bitch.

  • Homple||

    Correct me if I'm wrong, but the law requiring a federal budget was passed during the Harding / Coolidge administration. At that time federal appropriations were made ad hoc, department by department. Spending was impossible to track or limit and was getting out of hand. A budget made possible management of the government at least possible.

    Operating without a budget today allows ad hoc appropriations that are very difficult to track and limit. A perfect world for Obama and crew. This will continue for some time.

  • Hugh Akston||

    You guys I just realized something. With the federal budget completely sequestered, what is going to happen to the internet pixel supply?

  • ||

    That's a good question, Hugh, especially coming from someone like you, you know, a total f

  • AlmightyJB||

    I bought a 3D printer so I can make my own internet pixels.

  • CampingInYourPark||

    I bought my pixels with bitcoins so ha!

  • Paul.||

    The nation's supply of LOLCats will be severely restricted to a need-only basis.

  • Mr Whipple||

    Stick to scalable vector graphics.

  • Paul.||

    What, ASCII art gets the shaft?

  • Mr Whipple||

    You still have a Commodore 64, don't you?

  • Paul.||

    *looks around nervously*

  • AlmightyJB||

    In Ohio we had the most snow last night that we've had all year so the republicans are now causing global warming because scientists say that global warming causes more snow except when it causes less snow.

  • JWatts||

    Except of course when it's exactly the same amount of snow. Then it's just a momentary lapse until the global warming climate change kicks into high gear.

  • DJF||

    Denier!!!!. Global Warming not only causes more or less snow it also causes the same amount of snow.

  • Paul.||

    Who will think of the Coboy Poets?

  • db||

    I consider myself something of a Cobray Poet.

  • Little55||

    like Vincent implied I'm in shock that a mom able to make $6936 in 1 month on the computer. have you seen this site link http://www.wow92.com

  • Tony||

    This "sequester" episode is very strange. Even though he's had some unfavorable polls recently, Obama can't possibly come out of this the big loser. If the economy goes bad, he can blame Republicans who embraced the sequester cuts. If it gets better (which it seems to be), that's always good for the president. Republicans are embracing it because they like cuts, and it's cuts, but they're a generation removed from the smart ones who knew that the first rule about enacting your ideological agenda is not to have your fingerprints on it. If a Republican president gets elected this strange, new version of the GOP might actually do what it has always said it's gonna do. That's the scariest thought of all--Republicans who aren't just fiscal hawks when a Democrat is in the White House.

  • Mr Whipple||

    If my business was doing poorly and I hired a manager to come in and change things and make it profitable again, but all he did was blame the competition and the customers, and what not, I would fire his fucking ass.

    Blaming other people for your own inadequacies only gets you so far. Eventually, people realize you have no idea WTF you are doing. Obama's entire presidency has been nothing but blaming other people and making himself look like a victim.

    Yo, FUCK him.

  • Homple||

    For progressives, successfully blaming a problem on somebody else IS solving it.

    Obama has proven that you can continue to fool enough of the people enough of the time.

  • JWatts||

    That's the scariest thought of all--Republicans who aren't just fiscal hawks when a Democrat is in the White House.

    It's Tony, so this can't be sarcasm. Ergo, he really thinks that politicians that aren't lying and aren't growing the government are "the scariest thought of all".

  • Tony||

    News as this may be to Republicans and libertarians, but the "size" of government isn't the only concern in the universe.

  • Mr Whipple||

    OF COURSE, size matters.

  • Sevo||

    "It's Tony, so this can't be sarcasm."
    Nope.
    Abysmal ignorance. That's all.

  • burserker||

    its Tony, fuck him and his nanny

  • General Butt Naked||

    Anyone else get the feeling that Tony is really disappointed that the sequester didn't cause a bunch of mayhem and death?

    I do, but I guess we'er talking about the same type of person who gets a giant shiny erection every time a bunch of kids gets shot up.

  • Sevo||

    General Butt Naked| 3.6.13 @ 6:35PM |#
    "Anyone else get the feeling that Tony is really disappointed that the sequester didn't cause a bunch of mayhem and death?"

    Pretty sure he's in shock since the sleazebag-in-chief told him the world was ending and it *DIDN'T*!

  • General Butt Naked||

    Have you noticed how far the goalposts have been moved back in the media's reporting of this thing?

    The stories from last week echoed Dear Leader's doom and gloom predictions, now they echo his doom and gloom (in a couple of months, you watch!) predictions.

  • Sevo||

    "Some things will get worse!"
    See, predictions are easy.

  • Not an Economist||

    The sad thing is Tony is right. Anything happens to the economy or anything related to something that was cut by the sequestration it will be blamed by Obama on the sequestration and the Republicans. And the press and Tony will parrot what he says as the absolute truth. And they will ignore any evidence to the contrary.

  • Sevo||

    Not an Economist| 3.6.13 @ 7:32PM |#
    "The sad thing is Tony is right."

    True enough. Obozo could commit buggery on the platz at noon, and the press would claim it to be some sort of 'diversity affirmation'.
    Liars gonna lie.

  • General Butt Naked||

    I think that people that aren't partisan bluebags, but maybe voted for the president are getting sick of the excuses. He's spent the last 5 years blaming republicans for his failure of an administration, I'd argue that he's got another year before his numbers start to dip (especially if the economy still sux).

    Also, I think Obama won reelection not because of some overwhelming popularity he possesses, but rather his limp opponent. I said the same thing about Bush and look what happened to him.

  • burserker||

    tony jerks off to mass shootings and drone attacks

  • Calidissident||

    The Republicans (with a few exceptions) are ok with the weak ass sequester because they're trying to fool their base into thinking they're actually doing something meaningful. And how is this gonna tank the economy when total federal spending is still increasing?

  • Dr. Frankenstein||

    You think you're tough for eating beans every day? There's half a million scarecrows in Denver who'd give anything for one mouthful of what you got. They've been under siege for about three months. They live on rats and sawdust bread and sometimes... on each other. At night, the pyres for the dead light up the sky. It's medieval.

  • JWatts||

    That was a great movie and then they re-made it. With Chinese North Koreans....

  • Dr. Frankenstein||

    I never bothered to watch the re-make. what would be the point. Sinks about using the Norks but you wouldn't want to offend the people who loan you money. Unless of course you figure out how to live within your means. NAH.

  • AlmightyJB||

    Someone just posted that scene the other day.

  • John Galt||

    I like the new "read this as a single page" link.

    I didn't appreciate the Janet Napolitano image while I was eating.

  • AlmightyJB||

    They call that the Janet diet. Slideshow of random Janet Napitano and Janet Reno pics while you eat.

  • SIV||

    Reason's Nick Gillespie, who notes that just this morning he received an Obama fundraising email that called the automatic budget cuts that went into effect on March 1 "Devastating."

    Nick made a few donations back in 2008 and 2012 and now they just won't leave him alone.

  • XM||

    If you're pro life, you have to agree to every single thing in life that theoretically sustains life, meaning you're fine and dandy with the concept of socialism.

    If you're pro choice, then you have to aligned with the darwinists and libertarians because you can't snuff out a life in your own belly and then advocate for the government to spend out of their minds to prop up the living.

    You learn something new from the internet everyday.

  • lucasw908||

    just before I saw the check of $8145, I didnt believe that...my... friend was like they say realy bringing home money part-time from there labtop.. there aunts neighbour has been doing this less than 23 months and just now cleared the morgage on there cottage and bourt a gorgeous Lancia. read more at,
    http://qr.net/ka6n

  • ZinxMinx||

    Gotta love those bought and paid for politicians!

    www.NetAnon.da.bz

  • jbk||

    Great article. It's Sacramento not Sacremento.

  • Free Society||

    Anyone who listens to Marketplace on NPR has heard them relentlessly pound the sequestration "cuts" like it's the worst thing ever. Because you know, if the feds spent only a few percent more than they spent last year, the the world will end.

  • abella||

    my best friend's step-aunt makes $87 every hour on the computer. She has been laid off for 9 months but last month her check was $12850 just working on the computer for a few hours. Read more on this web site and go to home tab....
    http://googlejobs.co.uk.qr.net/ka8z

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