Declarations of Impotence
7 forgettable State of the Union speeches by second-term presidents
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CREDIT: Whitehouse.govBILL
CLINTON, 1997
Funny, we've never been so prosperous!
Over the last four years, we have brought new economic growth by investing in our people, expanding our exports, cutting our deficits, creating over 11 million new jobs, a four-year record.
So this time we're really gonna balance that budget!
We here tonight have an historic opportunity. Let this Congress be the Congress that finally balances the budget. In two days, I will propose a detailed plan to balance the budget by 2002.
Retrospective laff lines:
This balanced budget includes the largest antidrug effort ever: to stop drugs at their source, punish those who push them, and teach our young people that drugs are wrong, drugs are illegal, and drugs will kill them.
WTF?
We face no imminent threat, but we do have an enemy -- the enemy of our time is inaction.
Big (failed) idea: Education reform.
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I don't remember much of anything this president says. And these speeches are pointless most of the time, anyway.
In earlier threads, I've proposed two speech options for Obama:
That which is ours is ours again. It will never be taken from us again.
I am O-Ba-Ma, chief. Also son of chief. Guardian of the holies, speaker of the holy words, leader of warriors. Many have died, but this is the last of the capitalist places. What is ours is ours again.
or
Mr. Speaker, Mr. Vice President, members of Congress, distinguished guests, and fellow Americans:
America, you can't spend your whole life worrying about your mistakes. You fucked up. . .you trusted us. Hey, make the best of it! Maybe we can help.
Thank you, God bless you, and may God bless the United States of America. -
Personally, I'd be more impressed to see him deliver something akin to this
Shit. I know shit's bad right now, with all that starving bullshit, and the dust storms, and we are running out of french fries and burrito coverings. But I got a solution...Now I understand everyone's shit's emotional right now. But I've got a 3 point plan that's going to fix EVERYTHING.
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Obama's not that advanced, I fear.
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Greatest of holies. Chiefs and sons of chiefs may speak the words, but the Evil One's tongue would surely turn to fire. I will begin. You shall finish.
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If I'm ever president, I'll start one State of the Union (broadcast from my house in Tampa) with "E Plebnista."
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Point of definition, a president is not a lame duck until his successor has been elected.
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This is absolutely correct. Obama is a lame fuck.
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who tend to strangle such ideas in the crib.
I would pay good money to witness the remainder of Barry's grand ideas, from now until his dying day, strangled in the crib.
And, since I do not presently have sufficient funds, the Koch brothers should dedicate a small fraction of their resources to hiring VFW bikers to follow Obama around and rev their bikes to ear-splitting levels each time he opens his mouth in public.
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When will we have a politician to tell us the truth, "I have nothing to offer but blood, toil, tears and sweat, roll up you sleeves and get to work, for there is truly nothing I can do for you but get government out of the way." Oh, now I remember .... politicians using those phrases don't get elected until there's a dire emergency.
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Summary:
chocolate rations are up
we're winning the war with Eurasia, the country we've always been at war with -
I would be impressed if he would return to the tradition of delivering the SOTU by letter. Throw the USPS a bone.
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Johnson and Truman weren't lame ducks. Johnson ran in 1968 and dropped out of the race after the New Hampshire primary. Harry Truman was exempt from the 22nd Amendment and was defeated in the New Hampshire primary by Estes Kefauver.
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And every year, every president has this obligatory phrase: "the state of our union is strong."
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There are serious commentators who propose that the Presdent may be in at least as strong a political position as he was at his first State of the Union address.
I am not not so certain that the content of the address will be forgotten by March.
Over/ Under of which of the President's proposals will have been enacted by summer recess?
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Which serious commentators did you have in mind?
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