4 Tactics Public Schools Are Using To Get Butts Behind Desks

School competition leads to surprising tactics to keep attendance from falling.

(Page 3 of 4)

3. Suspension/Expulsion Reform

School officials in Maryland made the news earlier in the month after suspending a 6-year-old boy for pointing his finger like it was a gun. His family quickly got themselves a lawyer, and not long afterward the school rescinded the suspension and wiped it from the boy’s record.

Because funding is based on attendance, kicking students out of school obviously comes with costs. As a consequence, schools are now reconsidering the “no tolerance” policies that have led to such ridiculous outcomes and have proven to be so costly to school districts’ bottom lines.

In Colorado in November, legislators passed a law to scale back “no tolerance” rules, giving administrators and school boards more leeway in determining student discipline. The legislation followed another silly disciplinary incident where a 6-year-old was accused of sexual harassment and suspended for singing LFMAO’s “[I’m] Sexy and I Know It” to another student.

Other school districts are attempting to follow suit and reduce suspensions and expulsions as go-to disciplinary tools. The Washington Post noted this week that D.C. charter schools actually expel students at a much higher rate than their public school counterparts.

Beyond preserving funds by keeping students in school, the reform also takes into account that parents’ hands are no longer tied when dealing with authoritarian responses from school administrators and teachers. Had the parents of the boy with the finger guns found his school officials to be unresponsive, they could have essentially taken their business elsewhere. Maryland has many charter schools.

Next: Maybe we don’t actually need their butts at their desks after all.

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  • Aresen||

    My one regret about my school years is that I did not skip school more often.

  • Troglodyte Rex||

    1) Pay more to force the future burger flippers to go learn stuff they realistically won't apply in the future?

    2) As a resident of San Antonio who hears about this ceaselessly, her objection is due to the badge being against her religion as it is "the mark of the beast".

    3) See 1.

    4) Would work, but mandating the incorporation should come with a reduction in brick and mortar teacher salaries. IF they do less they should make less.

  • ||

    If you dislike the idea of carrying an RFID chip around with you, 3-6 seconds in a microwave oven will fry any RFID chip ever made. You can also use a needle to cut the antenna wires within the chip, rendering it incapable of powering itself.

  • NealAppeal||

    The school even offered to give her a badge without the RFID chip inside but she declined. It makes sense to me. They just want to make it appear that she obeyed when she didn't. In principle, you would be symbolically showing that you support the tagging and tracking.

  • ||

    Small steps, very small steps. Having the money follow the child makes a lot of sense. Next step is to allow education to fall away from the industrialized one size fits all model. As far as I understand there are still all sorts of state/federal mandates than every school is still be bound by.

  • waaminn||

    Sounds like some crazy smack to me dude. Wow.


  • Agile Cyborg||

    Well, I'm fucking clueless that this sort of bizarre shit is occurring in America. I'm absolutely fucking shocked that a fucking subhuman piece of shit cop would ticket a home-schooler. Dude, there's very little I'm NOT aware of on this planet YET somehow this article FUCKS with my pathetic mind. WHAT the FUCK! What bag of worthless intestines-hauling crap human being actually TICKETS for truancy?!!! I'm blown away. FUCKING blown away. whew

  • ||

    Charter schools whose students are in fact home schoolers... disregard the important socialization aspect of public education, do not serve the public purpose of promoting a sense of community...

    IOW, in addition to costing teachers an extra 10 grand a year in health benefits, such schools also lift the boot of social indoctrination off their neck, creating people who don't submit to authority and agree in lock-step with their peers and teachers. Oh dear!

  • Sebastian||

    I say sudbury and democratic schools for the win! I've always just ignored what my teachers say because they have no clue what they're even "teaching" they just read from a book they're given and expect us to just believe them like they were the almighty himself come down to dwell among us. Yeah when I've read more literature then my 60 year old teacher in the 9th grade and read her stupid mandated books in one day there's a problem. What a waste of 120,000 tax dollars for 12 years of public indoctrination.

  • mr simple||

    Yeah when I've read more literature then my 60 year old teacher in the 9th grade and read her stupid mandated books in one day there's a problem.

    Yes, it seems the school system failed you. Is this joe's law? I can't remember anymore.

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