(Page 2 of 2)
The winning entry is from the Times' mustachioed Maestro of Mixed Metaphors. Friedman asks why, despite some "breathtaking chainsaw-nails-pounded-into-heads violence," post-Saddam Iraq didn't "explode outward like Syria"? Because: "For better and for worse, the United States in Iraq performed the geopolitical equivalent of falling on a grenade—that we triggered ourselves."
Barely leaving us time to ponder the "for better" upside of that move, what "chainsaw-nails" are and how something can "explode" any way but "outward," Friedman's off to the grenade races without his obstetrics textbook:
"[Nobody's] willing to fall on the Syrian grenade and midwife a new order. So the fire rages uncontrolled ... and the Shiite-Sunni venom unleashed by the Syrian conflict" strains relations regionwide. Will venom-grenades give way to chainsaw-nails? It's a "breathtaking" performance that really makes your head pound.
This year, Rolling Stone's Matt Taibbi sponsored a "write like Tom Friedman" challenge in which the winners got fake grenades. Next year, inshallah, maybe I'll mail all my contest winners fake mustaches.
This article originally appeared at The Washington Examiner.