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3. Olly, Syd, and Millie, mascots of the 2000 Sydney Games.
The organizers of the 2000 Sydney Games realized that nobody could top Izzy in a one-on-one competition. So they instead drank 1,000 Imperial gallons of Foster's and created an unholy trinity of mascots: A kookabura named Ollie (why not?) who represents the Olympics' spirit of generosity(?); a duckbilled platypus named Syd (as in Sydney) who represents the environment (??); and an echidna called Millie (as in Millenium Games) who represented the year 2000 (???). It's not just toilets that flush backwards in Australia, mates. Even free association doesn't make sense Down Under.
How bad were Olly, Syd, and Millie? Worse than a Paul Hogan film festival or a Mel Gibson beer run. People in Sydney instead embraced Fatso the Fat-Arsed Wombat, an unofficial mascot who made up in crowd-love what it lacked in sponsorship.
Next: "A Genetic Experiment Gone Horribly, Ghastly Wrong.”