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4. Izzy, the mascot of the 1996 Atlanta Games.
Bomb attacks couldn't stop the 1996 Atlanta Games. Neither could the competition's sad-sack mascot "Izzy," technically known as "Whatizit" and colloquially known as "Whatthefuckizit" and "The Sperm in Sneakers."
Supposedly, 20 design firms competed to create the mascot for Atlanta and it's a testament to early 1990s slacker culture that Izzy came out on top. It made its debut at the end of the 1992 Barcelona Games and the reception was so negative that Atlanta's organizers ripped out the bottom row of teeth in Izzy 1.0 and gave him "longer limbs to give a more athletic look" according to Wikipedia.
Sometimes you go to athletic competitions with the mascots you've got. And other times you kick his teeth out, stretch his arms, and slap some sneakers on him. And you still lose.
Next: Mascots That Sprung From the Drunken Fever-Dreams of Crocodile Dundee