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2. Rainbow Parties: The Ultimate Oral Tradition
Only parents raised on Penthouse Forum letters could have come up with the idea of a "Rainbow Party," in which young girls (the younger the better!) wear different shades of brightly colored lipstick and successively perform oral sex on a boy, leaving a ROYGBIV spectrum of colors on his penis.
As Cathy Young pointed out in her 2006 Reason story, "The Great Fellatio Scare," the basic mechanics of oral sex undercut the notion almost as much as the absolute lack of evidence that any such gathering has ever happened anywhere outside of the fevered imaginations of grownups writing poorly sourced stories for the Washington Post and other mainstream news outlets.
From Young's piece:
In 2003, this peril was explored by Oprah herself, with the help of O magazine feature writer Michelle Burford, who interviewed 50 girls, some as young as 9, and painted a frightening picture of kiddie debauchery. “Are rainbow parties pretty common?” inquired a rapt Oprah, to which Burford replied, “I think so. At least among the 50 girls that I talked to…this was pervasive.”
Unless pervasive is tween-talk for bullshit—or maybe Jenkem—Rainbow Parties seem about as real as unicorns.
Next: Blinded By the Light, The Pretty, Pretty Light...