The Life of Julia (Libertarian Remix)

How Obama's - and Romney's - policies will make one woman's life more miserable.

(Page 2 of 7)

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  • TripleT||

    I need new glasses before I can read this shit.

    Any chance of larger images ??

  • Bardas Phocas||

    Under Obamacare, you will receive new government designer glasses in 2016.
    Until then, squint like rest of the proles or buy some on the black market.

  • Mattiacci||

    Yep - here you go:

    http://media.reason.com/mc/ngi.....5/3yrs.jpg
    http://media.reason.com/mc/ngi.....3-5yrs.jpg

    Can't include more than two links, so replace the end of those URLs with the following to get the rest:
    18yrs.jpg
    25yrs.jpg
    31yrs.jpg
    42yrs.jpg
    67yrs.jpg

  • Pip||

    Zoom your browser to 200%

  • Pi Guy||

    CTRL+ a couple of times. CTRL- zooms back out.

  • Fist of Etiquette||

    Obama plans to be president for the another 64 years? He could be like Castro, only with longer and more boring speeches.

  • MotorCityPatriot||

    Well he is more like a Caesar

  • daveInAustin||

    The government will take care of us from cradle to grave.

  • AlmightyJB||

    Yeah, they'll take care of us like a parasite.

  • Rich||

    Please let this go viral.

  • AlmightyJB||

    Yeah, It's pretty much everywhere already.

  • Tman||

    Who is running the show in Obamaland these days?

    Did they not realize how incredibly easy it is to mock this stupid campaign for "Julia"?

    It saddens me to know a cabinet this stupid is actually running the free world.

  • Aresen||

    You forgot the quotes around your second to last word.

  • ||

    By actually running the 'free' world, you mean completely fucking it up, right?

  • Pip||

    Shorter Life of Julia:

    FUCK MEN!

  • ||

    Literally and figuratively?

  • ||

    Even shorter

    FUCK ME!

  • Hugh Akston||

    My theory is that either Obama really hates being POTUS, so he's doing everything he can to make himself look like an idiot, or he knows the ROMNIAC 1000 has no chance of beating him and he's just in it for the lulz.

  • wareagle||

    Obama, in fact, loves being POTUS in the sense of the title, the trappings, and the power. It's the actual work associated with the job that he hates. The man's only skill is campaigning, which he has been doing for more than 4 years now. Should he actually win re-election, he will have absolutely no clue what to do next.

  • Tman||

    Should he actually win re-election, he will have absolutely no clue what to do next.

    Part of me wants to see him win just because of this. Can you imagine what insanity will arise if he actually starts leading?

  • AlmightyJB||

    He know's that his base are morons.

  • plu1959||

    Unfortunately, both you and he are right.

  • Mickey Rat||

    No, he is shoring up his base voters, who are idiots

  • Michael Ejercito||

    It would be better than a slideshow about what the government did for Eurie Stamps, Timothy Cole, Grant Snowden, Gerald Amirault, and Harold Fish.

  • ||

    This is what I asked for!

  • Barack||

    I so depressed.

  • Pro Libertate||

    If libertarians were in charge, she'd live an extra hundred years and have a second home on Mars.

  • Ska||

    And her pussy would taste like cinnamon buns.

  • Killazontherun||

    Why? You can't improve on the taste of pussy.

  • plu1959||

    A little variety wouldn't hurt now and then. Like flavored coffee.

  • Pip||

    Have her eat garlic.

  • section9||

    What's all this bull SHIT about tuna, anyway!

    I bet it's all just a fish story...

  • AlmightyJB||

    Here you go dude. If you share she might even return the favor. Some are kind of on the sweet side. Watermelon is pretty good. Zero Calories.

    http://www.idlube.co.uk/acatal....._Lube.html

  • Ska||

    I just thought genetic enhancement of all organs would be standard, including flavored vulvae.

  • Killazontherun||

    Oh, like having Cinnabun while eating pussy. Nice.

    Similarly, in libertopia with cosmetic surgery it will be possible to have your farts smell like hyacinth and sound like wind chimes.

  • WarrenT||

    Well, if you're determined enough you can do this now.

  • Killazontherun||

    I've got a glance at the new medical device regulations. I'm not sure if my band-aids are even legal now.

  • plu1959||

    Do tell.

  • mad libertarian guy||

    That defeats the entire fucking point of going out of your way to attain wretched gas.

    There are few things more fun than a legit dutch oven or locked window fart to make the entire family suffer.

  • Killazontherun||

    If I could teleport my farts to the mouths and noses of my enemies that would be one thing, but for now, it is like being a suicide bomber.

  • mad libertarian guy||

    I fear not my own farts.

    Nasty they are, yet sometimes one must suffer in order to experience joy.

  • Ted S.||

    Some of us hate the sound of wind chimes.

  • SusanM||

    Killaz, someone beat you to that idea

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fart_Proudly

  • section9||

    You know, there was a determined effort at the 1977 World Science Fiction Convention NOT to give "Logan's Run" the award for Best Picture.

  • Dr. Frankenstein||

    And fusion power in her lifetime.

  • Jake W||

    Fusion power is most likely, at our current technological rate of advancement we should see it in the next 20 years.

  • Dr. Frankenstein||

    So I've heard...

    repeatedly.

  • Randian||

    I can only hope that Jake was making the same joke.

  • Tman||

    And would spend her weekends at the Vaporizer bars.

  • ||

    Hey, when Julia has a kid, the show goes into reruns.

  • Pip||

    +1 dependent.

  • Jake W||

    It's fucked up to think that our publicly held debt will be beyond 100% of our GDP some day but unless the NWO takes over first at this rate it will happen. The really fucked up thing is that the people who ran up that debt lay it on our backs and retire, we can't give our politicians the finger and leave them with THEIR bills.

  • ||

    Thank you, Nick Gillespie, for reminding me that 1) 15.3% of my earned income goes to a pay as you go government ponzi scheme that I will never see a fucking dime from and 2) the general public overwhelmingly supports this fact.

    I'm going to go murder every person over 50 I can get my hands on. I'll see you all in Valhalla.

  • Jake W||

    Is Valhalla the name of the latest place they put all of the free-thinking bad people like you? I heard the government will keep us all safe by labeling you a terrorist and arresting you for no reason. I feel better now, *MAINSTREAM CANDIDATE* 2012!

  • ||

    Since H&R has established that All Libertarians Are Vikings, yes, Valhalla is the place all the free-thinking bad people go.

  • Spiny Norman||

    Valhalla is a town in New York. Ayn Rand is buried there.

    So there ya go.

  • AlmightyJB||

    That was my pet name for my daughter when she was little. Valhalla, not Ayn Rand.

  • Pip||

    "Valhalla, not Ayn Rand"

    Cumbersome.

  • AlmightyJB||

    You think that's cumbersome, when she started High Scool I changed it to Abandon All Hope, Ye Who Enter Here.

  • Michael Price||

    Wow, you really wanted to warn off those teenage boys didn't you?

  • section9||

    Tell Wotan you spent his grandchildren's inheritance.

  • plu1959||

    The Obama parts are awesome. But I think the Romney parts could use some work. Too goofy.

  • ||

    The Romney parts should just say "See Obama section"

  • JeremyR||

    I dunno. While the differences aren't great, he should have a sane energy policy that isn't directed at driving up the cost of energy so as to push "green" technology that his buddies have invested in

  • plu1959||

    Brilliant. Make it so.

  • PapayaSF||

    My thoughts exactly. Those parts are too off-the-wall and thus weak. But Reason writers have a hard time admitting that a Republican would be similar in many ways but (on average) not as bad. There are still comic possibilities, though. E.g. at 42: "Under Mitt Romney: Publicly held debt is a mere 90% of GDP, so Julia's online business is selling backpacks for carrying dollars...."

  • Randian||

    But Reason writers have a hard time admitting that a Republican would be similar in many ways but (on average) not as bad.

    Not as bad, eh? Can I have your a) crystal ball or b) whatever you're smoking?

  • PapayaSF||

    GOP presidents are usually more market-friendly, establish huge federal programs less often, and tend to nominate better Supreme court justices.

  • Aresen||

    GOP presidents are usually more market crony-friendly, establish huge federal programs less often to placate socons rather than bleeding hearts, and tend to nominate better pro-police Supreme court justices.

    FIFY

  • section9||

    Well said! I'll call some Republicans I know and see if I can break them away from beating their Mexicans.

  • newshutz||

    Or the Romney parts were not goofy enough.

    They should reflect the left's usual dementia concerning progressive Republicans.

  • Death Rock and Skull||

    The cartoon progression appears to show the old woman shrinking. That ought to cost the administration some AARP votes.

  • ChrisO||

    Julia could be the mother of all memes.

  • mad libertarian guy||

    "Due to Obamacare mandating free birth control of her choosing for Julia, she was able to enter the pornography profession where she had career advancements ranging from being solo to 1 chick sucking 3 dicks and going ass to mouth without fear of pregnancy."

  • Bardas Phocas||

    But then she becomes successful, with a popular website and making more than the poor little 99 percenters - then it's 100% confiscation and off to rice paddies.

  • BMFPitt||

    ranging from being solo to 1 chick sucking 3 dicks and going ass to mouth without fear of pregnancy.

    Last I checked, none of those get you pregnant, anyway.

  • Devil's Advocate||

    You didn't see what she did with it after it was in her mouth.

  • Killazontherun||

    It has that potential. Remember in the 90's when every other song lyric was about a fucked up chick named Mary?

  • Broseph of Invention||

    If Romney's president she will be. She'll be popping out memes left and right! She's not a meme vending machine, you know!

  • sloopyinca||

    Serious question: We bottled out beer 2 weeks ago and used some clear Grolsch-type bottles and have had them stored in a closed box since bottling.

    Is this gonna end up OK? The tops look like they got a very good seal, but I'm still a little concerned about the carbonation bleeding a bit.

    And does anybody know where I can get some cheap bottles online? I need at least five cases since we're about ready to bottle a second batch and the third one will be a week later.

  • Killazontherun||

    Sell by the keg!

  • DEG||

    I've never used Grolsch bottles for my homebrewing, but I think if you have a new seal on them you should be fine assuming you've aged the beer long enough.

    Some of the beers I've made have needed about three weeks to get to a good level of carbonation.

  • ||

    They should be fine, but definitely keep them out of the light Carolann.

  • AlmightyJB||

    I've seen the Grolsch bottles used before and they worked fine.

  • ||

    They should be fine but if you plan on them lasting a while brown bottles are better than clear.

  • EJ||

    You could try 22oz brown bottles with Grolsch style caps. Half the bottling. I've heard good things about those bottles.

  • Broseph of Invention||

    I've never used Grolsch bottles. Usually Austin Homebrew has good prices, but bottles are one of the few items they charge about the same for as the local places. I usually fill two dozen 22 oz bottles per batch, and use 12 oz bottles for the remainder, just in case you want to give some to friends.

  • R C Dean||

    Its been a good long while since I brewed, but I never had a problem getting cases of empties at a liquor store.

  • Bill Adams||

    Wow, a target as big as a barn door, and you miss the barn.

    Obama set this up, he's the target, pretending Romney will be as bad or worse is playing to the cool kids and never mind how the election turns out. Purgatory is ultimately better than Hell for those who have to live in it, and those little differences like who gets to pick the next two Supreme Court justices mean a lot.

    The real crime, of course: not that funny. The first few things we all thought of were much funnier.

  • Randian||

    Oh goody - hark, here cometh the first wave of the Hit & Republicans!

    Is this the most important election of our lifetimes, Bill? 'Cause I heard that in 2008, 2004, and 2000, and frankly I get confused.

  • ||

    There will be many waves of HitAndRunpublicans telling libertarians they just have to vote for ROMNIAC. First condescending, like this guy. Then angry: "don't you know what's at stake???" Then desperate, as their guy manages to clusterfuck a sure thing. Then, finally, resigned as they still have some hope, but deep down know he's going to lose because he's a super shitty candidate.

    These are the stages of HitandRunpublicanism, and you will watch many posters progress through them.

  • ||

    Just link them this and let them explain how they are somehow different:

    One woman adamantly explained to us that President Obama is not much better than President Bush, and that she would not be voting for Barack Obama again. Instead, she explained, she'd be voting against Mitt Romney (and for President Obama).

    http://reason.com/blog/2012/05.....aunch-with

  • Randian||

    That quote has to be my favorite summary of TEAM politics and the attitude of just about everybody I encounter IRL WRT politics.

  • section9||

    Listen, I'm a Palin guy at heart. Watching my "Team" nominate Greg Marmalarde and listening to the self-satisfied Sean Hannity tell me that this is the most important election in my lifetime makes me want to vomit. Where do I write in Paul

  • Pip||

    Flogged!

  • JW||

    OT: Parents of boy forcibly tattooed sue school district

    (Reuters) - The parents of a New Hampshire teenager who was assaulted and forcibly tattooed on the buttocks by four older students during school hours have filed suit against the school district.

    Michael and Tammy Austin are seeking unspecified damages from the district in Concord, New Hampshire, which they say failed to provide a safe environment for their son and to protect him from bullying in the May 2010 incident.

    A group of older students lured the boy, who was 14 at the time, to a house near Concord High School, where they tattooed a picture of a penis and the words 'Poop Dick' on his buttocks, according to the lawsuit filed in Merrimack County Superior Court.

  • plu1959||

    "Poop Dick"? That's what they came up with?

  • AlmightyJB||

    It's public school. Have you not seen Idiocracy?

  • ||

  • Rich||

    Donald Wyman, then 21, Blake Vannest, then 19, and two minors bullied the Austin's son for months prior to the incident, calling him insulting names

    They didn't know how to spell the other insulting names.

  • Randian||

    "older students"? It says one was 19 and another was 21.

  • PapayaSF||

    For the "damned if you do, damned if you don't" files:

    The school exacerbated the situation by calling an assembly on bullying on the victim's first day back at school after the incident, it said. Following the assembly, he was further harassed and bullied, the complaint said.

  • ant1sthenes||

    Ridiculous. Now, if they put a tattoo of a butt with a tattoo of a butt on his butt, that would be different.

  • sloopyinca||

    Asses all the way down?

  • nipplemancer||

    This is horrifyingly funny. I cannot stop giggling over "Poop Dick." That poor boy.

  • BMFPitt||

    If either one of them are President for the next 67 years, by year 9 I'm just going to move to Cuba and start a revolution.

  • Ralph Wylie||

    Nick & Meridith-
    Please re-do this and show what it would be like in little Julia's life if Ron Paul were elected. It ain't gonna happen, but we can always dream.

  • Eduard van Haalen||

    Age 25 - with the help of her ruggedly handsome boyfriend and a bunch of recently-legalized bazookas, Julia fights off the zombie invasion which took place under Ron Paul's statist successor, Wesley Mouch.

  • Eduard van Haalen||

    Age 30 - Julia restores President-in Exile Ron Paul to the White House and the entire Federal Reserve Board of Governors is forced to accept their own notes as toilet paper.

  • Eduard van Haalen||

    "legal tender for all buttocks"

  • Eduard van Haalen||

    Age 40 - Julia is offered a position in the Cabinet, only to learn that all Cabinet Departments have been abolished. She laughs and has a party of marijuana and raw milk.

  • Eduard van Haalen||

    Age 130 - Julia ends a long life, which was extended thanks to non-FDA-approved drugs, shortly after retiring as president of Julia's Monocles, Inc.

  • dehaul||

    We're doomed.

  • Auric Demonocles||

    This whole Julia thing was idiotic and a ton were about Obamacare, but the worst was (emphasis mine): Julia decides to have a child. Throughout her pregnancy, she benefits from maternal checkups, prenatal care, and free screening under health care reform.

    That's not how insurance is supposed to work, dumbass. Insurance is for mitigating risk.

    Also, the entire section for Romney is: "Health care reform would be repealed." Did you realize that Obamacare is the only reform that can ever be done?

  • Broseph of Invention||

    I think Obama has more faith in Romney's conservative credentials than I do. Mitt didn't sound half bad.

  • TingoZing||

    OK so who comes up with all that stuff? I dont get it?

    www.Privacy-Dudes.tk

  • Sharon Stone||

    Statist fucks.

  • sloopyinca||

    -4 months: Julia is aborted by her mother and the procedure is paid for by the taxpayers, courtesy of planned parenthood.

    The End.

  • Auric Demonocles||

    +1

  • XM||

    Why is "screwed under Romney" mostly tongue in cheek while "screwed under Obama" is based on actual policy?

  • Spoonman.||

    Because nobody has any idea what Romney will do.

  • HobbesTheTiger||

    Romney hasn't been President so we don't have any policy to go off of (besides gubernatorial).

  • Azathoth!!||

    Because there's quite a few folks here at Reason who voted for Obama, are planning on voting for him again, and having a hard time walking that fine line that lets them pretend that they're not statists while slapping down anything that might deter statism.

    Romney is a disaster, but neither of these people have any real idea what he'll do, but the 'tongue-in-cheek' segments get their liberals buddies laughing(yes, liberals are that simple-minded) so all the good cocktail parties remain inviting.

    Obama 2012! Right? Right?

  • Len Bias||

    I like how when she's 67, she gets preventative health care and free pills.

    Nothing about how she gets expensive, but life-saving, surgery when she's 75. Obama can't even pretend to give a shit about old people.

  • SusanM||

    Well, yeah! After all, libertarians give a shit about everyone. Ooops...wait.

  • ant1sthenes||

    Of course we do. It's tough love.

  • aelhues||

    So how come no one is mentioning people dreaming about having president for life, regardless of who, is scary? Even though it's a good exercise to imagine what a presidents decisions will cause if allowed to carry forward long term, I'd never use this kind of thing for campaigning.

    Too much temptation to think Obama really wants to be king/dictator.

  • Oliver1953||

    Really, weed? That's the first issue Reason could come up with to highlight the differences between libertarians and the other two parties?

  • ||

  • seanparnell||

    The first two shots at Romney are totally legit, tied to specific policies he advocates on drugs and immigration. The rest, though, seem like just cheap shots, unconnected to anything other than some caricature the Left is trying to build about Romney.

  • Erin Platt||

    This is BRILLIANT.

  • Keg||

    I was with you until the absurd "college is for billionaires and sex is banned" under Mitt Romney. Basically, you just made something up that has no basis in fact and sounds like something an idiot Democrat would say. If you want to represent us "libertarians", then don't embarrass us with that kind of intellectual dishonesty.

  • zamoracarl711||

    what Brian explained I'm impressed that a stay at home mom able to earn $4483 in four weeks on the computer. have you read this website makecash16.cøm

  • Stephdumas||

    I spotted 2 spoof videos of the life of Julia on Youtube.
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v.....re=related
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v.....re=related

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