Denny the Dullard

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Charles Oliver from the February 2005 issue

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Hastert doesn't seem to question whether the laws he passes actually do what they're intended to do, much less whether they square with his professed goal of making the federal government smaller. But then Hastert�Xa slow reader who watches little television and few movies�Xdoesn't seem terribly introspective or aware of life beyond the halls of Congress.

By Hastert's account, most of his fellow lawmakers are cut from similar cloth. "Back in 1977, a House committee study found that members worked eleven-hour days and spent only thirty-three minutes 'at such contemplative tasks as reading, thinking or writing,'" he writes. "I haven't checked recently, but I'm sure the breakdown is even worse today." When Hastert describes the creation of the Department of Homeland Security as "the largest government reorganization since 1947," I suspect he isn't just trying to divert attention from the fact that ostensibly small-government Republicans had created yet another new federal bureaucracy. He really doesn't realize that's what happened.

Hastert also seems genuinely surprised that his son Josh is a lobbyist (or "government consultant," as they prefer to be called now). "I never dreamed that Josh would ever want to do something like that," he writes. "When he was growing up, he was sort of an anti-government guy."

House Republicans under Hastert's leadership have undergone a similar metamorphosis. They've grown comfortable with government power now that they wield it. They may mouth the occasional "small government" words, but they are far more interested in process than principles.

That must be what it means to become the governing party.�