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The Office of National Drug Control Policy spends $3.2 million on Super Bowl ads to inform sports fans that buying drugs helps fund terrorism. Of course, it is the War on Drugs that makes drugs so profitable.

Poor Sport

National Football League player Terry Glenn sues the league under the Americans with Disabilities Act. He claims that his depression makes it impossible to comply with his contract's substance abuse clause. He wants reimbursement for salary lost during a four-game suspension.

Sombertown

Tony and Angelica Flores spend a few hours in jail for failing to remove their Christmas lights in a timely manner. A Peoria, Arizona, law requires residents to remove decorations within 19 days after the holiday. The couple ignored a court date and got a letter saying the case had been dismissed. Then police officers showed up at their door.

Star Billing

Several states lobby for federal money to give moviemakers tax breaks. Canadian subsidies must be matched in the U.S., they say, or shows set in Chicago or Pittsburgh will continue to be shot in Toronto. But even with subsidies, the cheap Canadian dollar will pull productions north.

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