Even agencies that have nothing to do with drugs feel obligated to moralize online. Hence, NASA declares: "You can't do really neat things like being an astronaut or a NASA scientist if you're on drugs." The site also has a quote from second-man-on-the-moon Edwin Aldrin, who seems to have left his memory along with a couple of gin bottles somewhere in the moon's Sea of Tranquility: "My generation knew nothing about illegal drugs. Our highs came from exercise, hard work and serving our country." That's unconvincing coming from a guy nicknamed "Buzz" who copped to a drinking problem in his post-Apollo years.
4. The Government: Nature's Best friend -- And Yours!
Schools may do a good job of scaring kids about pollution and global warming, but federal Web sites have honed it to an art form. Visit, for example, the Environmental Protection Agency's site. In "When Greenville Turned Brown," written in the style of Dr. Seuss, one nefarious factory demolishes an entire city before the EPA comes to the rescue.
And the Federal Emergency Management Agency subjects kids to the most flaccid, dated gimmick around -- a rap song: "...People helping people is what we do. And FEMA is there to help see you through..." Talk about a federal disaster: Will FEMA be applying for funds to clean up its own awful site?
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