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Daily Brickbat

Absurd news bites, served fresh every day.

(Page 2 of 3)

Long Showers (1/29)
Chuck Richison's water bill usually runs about $55 a month, so he was a bit perplexed when the city of Corpus Christi, sent him one for $7,714,510.21. "It was the 21 cents that got me," Richison says. City officials said the bill was an error and promised to send one for the correct amount.

Sheriff Taylor Refused To Comment (1/28)
Five uniformed police officers and a trainee, about half of those who are typically supposed to be patrolling Greenville, South Carolina's streets, were found playing cards in a court building. The police department can suspend an officer for up to five days without pay. It can also recommend an officer be fired, but the Civil Service Commission has final say. No word on what punishment, if any, these officers face.

Bathroom Break (1/27)
You'd better have a big bladder if you plan on flying from Australia, Asia or Europe to the United States. The U.S. Transportation Security Administration has banned passengers from lining up for the bathrooms during flights. Flight attendants are expected to police the toilets, looking for suspicious packages and making sure people aren't trying to form a line. "Passengers are caught between a rock and a hard place. On one hand, they are advised to move around an aircraft during flights for health reasons; but now they are being told not to congregate. It doesn't make sense," said Warren Bennett, chief executive of the Board of Airline Representatives of Australia. It doesn't have to make sense, Mr. Bennett. It's part of the war on terror.

White Wedding (1/26)
Jacques Martin, mayor of the French city of Nogent-sur-Marne, has banned Muslim women from wearing headscarves during civil marriage ceremonies. French couples must be married during civil ceremonies, but they may later also have a religious wedding. "The state does not have to adapt to Islam today just as it did not adapt to Judaism and separated itself from Catholicism 200 years ago," Martin, told Le Figaro.

Proper Attire (1/23)
Malaysia's PAS party keeps telling non-Muslims they have nothing to fear. But everywhere the Islamic party has taken power, it has imposed new Sharia-based regulations on private behavior. Take the city of Kuala Terengganu. The PAS-dominated government there has placed new restrictions on what women—Muslim and non-Muslim alike—may wear to work. Out are short-sleeved tops, tight jeans, skirts with slits, or skirts cut above the knee. And Muslim women must wear a headscarf drawn tightly across their face. The state government of Terengganu has imposed its own restrictions, closing karaoke lounges and pool halls and barring Muslims from all places alcohol is served.

People's Choice (1/22)
The Iranian government has barred hundreds of reform candidates from running in upcoming elections. Reformist members of parliament say more than 80 percent of current reform-minded deputies have been banned from running by the council of guardians, an unelected body of conservative religious leaders and lawyers. Those who have been told they can't run include Mohammed Reza Khatami, brother of the current president, head of the biggest reform party and current deputy speaker of parliament.

Jonas Salk: Infidel (1/21)
Muslim leaders in Nigeria have told their followers not to have themselves or their children vaccinated for polio because the vaccine is provided by the United States. The leaders told them the vaccine had been laced with drugs that cause infertility or with the HIV virus. Some Muslim authorities reportedly admitted they knew those charges weren't true; they just wanted to resist a U.S.-led program. "People believe that America hates Muslims, and so whatever comes from the United States, no matter how good it is, people will reject it," said Sheik Muhammed Nasir Muhammed, chief imam at Kano, Nigeria's second-largest mosque.

Cuban Literacy (1/20)
Cuba has recently passed a law permitting only those who have government approval to access the Internet from home. Civil servants, Communist Party members and some select others will qualify. The state-owned telephone company Etecsa will monitor home use to make sure the law is complied with.

Gay for Pay (1/19)
Police in Victoria, Australia, will be paid for marching in a gay pride parade in uniform, whether they are on duty or not. Police commissioner Christine Nixon says its part of an effort to reach out to gays and lesbians. The police force says that officers are already paid to march in parades commemorating Anzac Day, Remembrance Day and Women's Day.

They Don't Call Them Procurement Officers for Nothing (1/16)
Robert Neal and Francis Jones, former senior procurement officers in the Pentagon, were sentenced to more than 24 years each in federal prison for conspiracy, extortion, money laundering, witness tampering and obstruction of justice. The two were found to have demanded cash, gifts and sexual favors from prostitutes sent by companies trying to do business with the military. Neal and Jones were also jointly ordered to pay $1.75 million in restitution.

Smarter Than the Average Politician (1/15)
A team of Israeli members of parliament finished in the middle of the pack in a televised IQ quiz. They beat teams of models and bodybuilders, but finished behind high school students and lawyers. But the models and bodybuilders may want to demand a rematch. The politicians have admitted to cheating on the test. "Like children, we want to succeed, (because) the whole country is watching," said Haim Katz, a member of parliament from the ruling Likud Party.

Priorities, Priorities (1/14)
Ontario's provincial auditor says the Ministry of Consumer and Business Services received about 4,000 complaints and inquiries related to debt collectors last year, including 800 written, formal complaints. But it conducted only 10 inspections of debt collection services. And 2,000 complaints about motor vehicle repairs brought just six inspections. But eight complaints about adult video stores—none in writing—prompted almost 1,600 inspections.

You Will Have a Good Time (1/13)
The staff at the US Army's Combat Equipment Battalion at Hythe, Great Britain, just had to attend the office Christmas party. No, really. They were ordered by the base command to attend the party or face disciplinary action. A memo from the base commander told them: "Let me make it clear that every employee's duty on December 19 is the Base Christmas Party. All employees not on approved leave will participate in the party... If you feel like I am trying to force FUN upon you, then you are correct."

Big Loads (1/12)
Christmas almost turned out badly for some residents of Livonia, Michigan. Postal inspectors spotted one employee apparently pulling DVDs out of the mail he was sorting and taking them to his locker. They confronted William Wrack as he went to his car and found 16 movies. Later, they searched his house and found 426 more DVDs. This is reportedly not the first time Wrack has been caught stealing from the mail.

Forget Your Rubbers (1/9)
Islamic leaders in Somalia have declared condoms illegal under religious law. They say they will flog anyone caught using or selling condoms. Sheikh Nur Barud, chairman of the Ulema Council, said the use of condoms will increase adultery, and those promoting adultery deserve to be punished.

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More Articles by Charles Oliver

  • Brickbats, Charles Oliver, December 18, 2011
  • Brickbats, Charles Oliver, November 20, 2011
  • Brickbats, Charles Oliver, October 17, 2011

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