Daily Brickbat

Absurd news bites, served fresh every day.

Charles Oliver | November 30, 1999

(Page 2 of 3)

Oiling the Machinery of Justice (2/1)
A Venezuelan court has sentenced Carlos Ortega to 15 years in prison for inciting civil unrest. Ortega, a former union leader, was convicted for his part in leading a two-month strike of the nation's oil industry that began in 2002.

Warrants? We Don't Need No Stinking Warrants! (1/31)
When two strangers tried to force their way into his Baltimore home, David Scheper slammed the door on them, called 911 and grabbed a gun as they smashed in the glass in his door. That was his big mistake. It turns out the two men were Baltimore detectives, and Scheper was charged with illegal discharge of a firearm. The detectives, who Scheper said didn't identify themselves as police officers, were looking for a housemate Scheper had kicked out weeks earlier. They didn't have an arrest warrant or a search warrant when they first tried to enter his home. But they did get a search warrant around two hours after arriving at his home. Prosecutors later dropped charges against Scheper. But he still hasn't gotten back guns, personal records and $1,440 in cash seized by the police. Nor has be been compensated for the $3,700 in damage to his home he says the police caused.

Fairy Tale (1/30)
Developer Marcus Salter says fairies have cost him big money. Well, not fairies, as much as the Scottish villagers who say they believe in them. When he started to move a big rock in the middle of his development, neighbors in St. Fillans complained he would disturb the fairies that lived underneath it. At first, he thought they were joking. But when the local community council started talking about complaining to planning authorities, he took the claims much more seriously. The planning commission's guidelines say nothing about protecting fairies, but they do say "local customs and beliefs" must be taken into account in approving development. Salter decided not to even fight. He's having the project redesigned to leave the rock in place.

Your Papers Please (1/27)
Ohio Gov. Bob Taft has signed into law a bill dubbed the "Ohio Patriot Act" by critics. The bill allows police to arrest anyone who refuses to provide their name, address, and birth date, even if that person isn't suspected of any other crime. The law also requires those applying for a driver's license to sign a form saying they haven't supported any terrorist organizations.

Swatting M. Butterfly (1/26)
Beijing police shut down a festival of films and seminars on homosexuality, and when about 30 participants decided to move the event to a nearby bar, police surrounded the bar before they arrived, closing it for "review." Police say organizers didn't have permission for the festival.

Drunk Tank(1/25)
If you can't beat 'em, house 'em. Some chronic street alcoholics can make up to 30 trips a year to Seattle hospitals. Officials estimate they can cost the city up to $100,000 a year each in jail stays, hospitalization and emergency services. So the city has decided to house up to 75 of them in their own apartment building. There will be medical personnel on hand, but residents will be allowed to come and go as they please and to drink on premises. Neighbors say the building, which hasn't yet opened, has already hurt their property values.

Cock and Bull(1/24)
The Honolulu Police Department has paid out around a quarter of a million dollars to five offices placed on paid leave nine months ago while the FBI investigates whether they accepted money from illegal cockfighting operations.

Water, Water Everywhere(1/23)
In the past two years, the Los Angeles Department of Water and Power has spent $1 million trying to convince residents their tap water is not only safe to drink but high quality as well. In that same period, the DWP also spent $88,900 on bottled water. DWP officials say that at least some of that water was handed out at community events or in places where water service had been interrupted, but critics note the agency bottles its own water that can be used for those purposes.

Trimming the Budget Deficit(1/20)
Italy has imposed a 25 percent tax on all hardcore pornography. The law, which is similar to one already passed in France, applies to all films and magazines, as well as merchandise sold in sex shops. Italian officials say they need the revenue to meet European Union limits on the size of its budget deficit.

Snow Porn?(1/19)
Jessica Scherer, her boyfriend, and another friend decided to celebrate the arrival of winter by building a giant snow penis. She says people walking by laughed at it, and people driving by honked their horns. But the New Windsor, New York, police say they got complaints about it. So they beat it down with shovel while no one was at home, even though apparently there are no laws prohibiting giant snow penises. "We probably weren't 100 percent correct in going on the property and knocking it down. But our intentions were pure. Some people were offended," said New Windsor Town Supervisor George Meyers.

Go Fly a Kite(1/18)
Police in Lahore, Pakistan, used clubs to breakup a protest outside the national Supreme Court. The crowds were protesting a ban on kite flying, which the court had earlier upheld. The court said it banned kites because several people have been killed by them.

Radio Free Europe(1/17)
British police are investigating children's rights advocate Lynette Burrows. The investigation follows Burrows' appearance on a radio show where she said that homosexuals should not be allowed to adopt children. Someone complained to the police, and they began an investigation into the "homophobic incident." Burrows said the officer who contacted her told her that her remarks were not criminal but the police were still required to investigate.

Don't Mess With Nessie (1/16)
During the 1980s, senior British government officials spent quite a bit of time debating how best to protect the Loch Ness Monster from poachers, according to recently released memos. "Unfortunately, Nessie is not a salmon and would not appear to qualify as a freshwater fish under the Salmon and Fisheries Protection (Scotland) Act 1951," wrote an official with the Department of Agriculture and Fisheries. Officials ultimately determined Nessie is protected under the 1981 Wildlife and Countryside Act and would not require special legislation.

Tokenism (1/13)
When Donald Pirone saw that a fellow MARTA rider was having trouble with a token vending machine, he figured he'd be helpful. He gave the man a token, but the man insisted on paying him face value for it. Unfortunately, an Atlanta transit policeman saw the exchange, and he handcuffed and arrested Pirone for selling the token. It seems state law bars people from selling MARTA tokens, even at face value. MARTA says the officers did the right thing. "There are customer service phones for people who are having trouble getting tokens out of the machine," said spokeswoman Jocelyn Baker.

Sheet (1/12)
Not quite sure about the lyrics to one of your favorite songs? Planning to look them up on the Internet? Better look fast. The U.S. Music Publishers Association says it is going to pursue legal action against Web sites that post lyrics and song scores. The MPA, which represents sheet music publishers, says it isn't just looking to shut the sites down or even reap monetary rewards. MPA president Lauren Keiser says that throwing some people in jail would make their campaign even more effective.