Daily Brickbat

Absurd news bites, served fresh every day.

Charles Oliver | November 30, 1999

(Page 15 of 17)

Illegal Parking (3/9)
Irish police are known for aggressively clamping vehicles parked outside the arrivals entrance at Dublin International airport. Still, no one expected them to clamp an ambulance parked just outside the entrance, especially since it was parked in an area reserved for emergency crews. But that's just what they did. The police also refused to allow the ambulance crew to use a company credit card to pay the fine, forcing them to withdraw their own money from an airport ATM before they could leave in the ambulance. The ambulance was at the airport to pick up a man badly injured while on a ski vacation.

Safety First (3/8)
Michigan officials are looking into whether three Washtenaw County sheriff's deputies broke state workplace safety regulations. Are they accused of reckless discharge of firearms? Unsafe driving? No, they ran into a burning building and pulled people to safety. The Ypsilanti Township and Washtenaw County gave them awards for bravery. But someone lodged an anonymous complaint with the Occupational Safety and Health Administration. The department faces fines and other sanctions if OSHA finds deputies broke the law. In fact, the agency is reportedly looking into other instances when deputies entered burning buildings and a collapsed trench. A sheriff's department official told local media he had reason to believe the complaint was filed by someone in the Ypsilanti fire department. Members of the fire department and the firefighters union denied that charge.

Booze Cartel (3/7)
Since 2001, Northwest Airlines has lost $2.9 billion, so it obviously is looking for every way it can to save money. And that includes buying wine and liquor in Minnesota, where it's cheaper, and trucking it into Michigan to be placed on planes. Not so fast, say state alcohol wholesalers, state law says Michigan companies have to buy only from them. The airline says that would cost it an additional $3 million a year, and it's fighting the ban. (It did, however, agree to buy its beer in Michigan.) Other airlines fly in booze for their flights, which is perfectly legal, and Northwest did too until it shifted its wide-bodied planes to long-haul flights in the mid-1990s. The matter is now in court.

Baby Love (3/4)
Don't have dinner with your children in North Carolina—not if you plan on drinking alcohol. State Sen. Andrew Brock, R-Davie, has introduced a bill that would forbid an adult driving an automobile with a child under 17 in it from having any amount of alcohol in his or her body. That means someone who has recently consumed even a glass of wine or a single beer could be charged. Brock says he got the idea from a similar proposal in Utah.

Leave Those Kids Alone (3/3)
Students trying to start a conservative club at Massachusetts' Hudson High School found their posters removed by school officials. The officials also blocked access to a Web site for high school conservative clubs mentioned on the posters. The Web site includes videos of beheadings by Iraqi insurgents. The students say the videos show what the United States is fighting in Iraq. And they say the school censored them for their views. But school principal John Staplefeld disagrees. Sort of. He told the Boston Globe the videos implicitly condone violence as a way of "solving problems." And he said the videos don't address the more central problem of growing anti-Americanism in other nations. "Unfortunately, we really haven't dealt with the fact that we're not well received in the world anywhere," he told the paper. "That's the issue."

In God's Name (3/2)
Gerhard Haderer has been given a six-month sentence for blasphemy by a Greek court. The move comes after his comic book The Life of Jesus was banned by the country. The comic depicts Jesus as a hippie who surfs and is friends with Jimi Hendrix. It has sold some 100,000 copies in the rest of Europe. Haderer faces imprisonment if he enters Greece. His Greek publisher and booksellers were acquitted of blasphemy charges.

They Are the Champions (3/1)
China jailed more journalists in 2004 than any other nation, says the Committee to Protect Journalists. It finished ahead of runners-up Cuba, Eritrea, and Burma. But in fairness to those countries, their combined populations wouldn't even equal China's. This marks the sixth straight year China has imprisoned the most journalists.

Make Time, Do Time (2/28)
Men in Costa Rica can now be sent to prison for flirting with women. Ananova says local media report a new law allows women to have men arrested for paying them unwanted compliments. Those found guilty face up to 50 days in jail.

Cop vs. Cop (2/25)
David Laing was quite upset when a Texas police officer pulled him over, asked for his identification and asked to search his car. Laing, a Canadian police officer, knew Canadian law didn't allow that type of search. What's that got to do with anything? He was stopped in Canada. The Texas officer was there to show Canadian officers how they catch drug dealers in the Lone Star state. After Laing asserted his rights and left, another Texas officer, this time accompanied by a Canadian police officer, pulled him over again. They told Laing he was under the influence of marijuana and demanded to search his car. This time, Laing agreed, but they also searched his two-year-old son, who was with him. They found no drugs, and despite asserting minutes earlier that Laing was under the influence, they let him go. Laing sued the Royal Canadian Mounted Police, who settled out of court with him, but the RCMP defends its actions. The RCMP also says Laing was evasive when asked what his job was. Laing says he simply didn't want any special treatment because he is a cop.

Nip and Tuck (2/24)
If you are thinking about having your face Botoxed or your boobs enlarged, then you might want to avoid Illinois and Washington. Their state legislatures are considering "vanity" taxes on plastic surgery. The taxes would not apply to reconstructive surgery for burn victims, women who have undergone mastectomies, or others who have surgery done for "medical" reasons

Killing Time (2/23)
Why has homicide risen 450 percent in North Wales, United Kingdom, since 2003? Deputy Constable Clive Wolfendale blames Quentin Tarantino. "In today's society, more people are likely to spend their evenings watching a Quentin Tarantino DVD than reading a Jane Austen novel. Perhaps we should not be surprised by the consequences," he said. Attempted homicide has also climbed 50 percent since 2003. So apparently, a lot of people rented Kill Bill last year.

You Haven't Come a Long Way, Baby (2/22)
Whoops. After earlier saying women would be allowed to run for president in the June elections, now Iran's Guardian Council says they can't run. It didn't say whether the first announcement was an error or whether it changed its mind. But reform-minded critics say the council probably changed its policy under pressure from conservative religious clerics.

A Shot in The Dark (2/18)
Sean Roisten and his family were at home when someone knocked at the door of their apartment. Two men in ski masks allegedly pushed their way into the Brighton, Massachusetts, home. Roisten got his own gun and shot one of the men, who was holding Roisten's wife at gunpoint. Police, of course, arrested Roisten for assault and battery with a deadly weapon and unlawful possession of a firearm.

Straighten Up and Fly Right (2/17)
Helicopter pilot Jeremy Johnson is being hailed as a hero by people in southern Utah. He braved strong winds to rescue a family stranded in a flood. He then raised money for the family—which had its trailer, mobile home, and camper washed away—by flying people over the flooded area. But the Federal Aviation Administration isn't impressed by Johnson's efforts. It says he broke federal laws by not giving seven days advance notice of his flights. It also says he may have broken the law when, at the request of local authorities, he flew explosives and an explosives expert across a river to blow up debris that was contributing to the flooding.

Fidel Bloomberg (2/16)
Cuba has banned smoking in most buildings open to the public. It will still be permitted in restaurants, but only in designated areas. The law also bans cigarette vending machines and the sale of cigarettes within 100 meters from schools