Sermons on the Hill

In which our man in Washington checks out various political preachers

Michael W. Lynch from the June 1999 issue

(Page 2 of 3)

My beer drained and plate empty, I decided to leave before my earrings became the focal point in somebody's crosshairs.

Date: Thurs, March 25, 1999 10:37:44 PM
From: [e-mail]
Subj: Gore Stumps

Vice President Al Gore, after starting the year off with a promising policy agenda of enlisting the federal government in the fight against detached, single-family housing, has gotten himself into a few traffic jams on his road to the American presidency. He is committing gaffes of potato-head proportions, and polls have him trailing George W. Bush by 18 points.

All this stumbling pleases Republicans, but I think they are underestimating the man, just as they underestimated Clinton over and over and over again. So I'm betting on Gore, not because I want him to be president, but as a hedge, an argument stopper, and a conversation starter. To date, I have $150 at stake.

On Tuesday, Gore was delivering the keynote address at the annual dinner for the Joint Center for Political and Economic Studies, a Washington think tank that focuses on African-American issues. I signed up. I wanted to check out my horse.

When I told people where I was going, the response was universal: "That sucks. I feel sorry for you. I hope you survive." I brushed off the comments, as an anthropologist headed into the bush might brush off concerns about exotic diseases, threats of decapitation, and lack of air conditioning. This was research. My goals: to see if Gore is as bad on the stump as everyone says; to hear what he says to this particular audience; and to witness how he's received.

The report: He's as bad as everyone says. He's a charisma vacuum, the verbal version of the famous American Gothic painting.

When he's on script, he reads so quickly that he forgets to pronounce all the syllables. He's even worse when he ad-libs, which he did a great deal. He's never sure of the proper accent to affect. At some points, he fell into a Southern drawl. But he never stuck with it. It was as if he suddenly realized he wasn't talking to a room full of Tennessee tobacco farmers, as he was in 1988, when he bragged about his tobacco-farming prowess-- "I've hoed it. I've dug in it. I've sprayed it. I've chopped it. I've shredded it"--but to the descendants of many of those who actually hoed it, dug in it, and chopped it, and not as a diversion from prep school.

At other times, his script called for soulful phrases, but his delivery lacked rhythm. He opened, for example, by noting that the Joint Center was a force for "justice and righteousness," but he read the line so fast I don't think he even accented the right syllables. At another point, he explained the God-given mission of the United States, mingling Clinton's foreign policy with the prophet Amos. "In every one of those lands I've mentioned, especially in Kosovo, people look to the United States for a kind of hope that justice will come rolling down like mighty waters," Gore said, each word picking up speed but devoid of any particular emphasis.

I kept thinking, and writing in my notebook, that I want my bets back. As I sat through the speech, drinking glass after glass of Stone Pine Chardonnay, I just couldn't believe how horrible he was. And two days later, looking at both the text of the speech Gore's office faxed me and my transcript of what he actually said, I am struck that neither version of his remarks reads as poorly as it sounded. This is remarkable. Usually the spoken word pleases the ears yet pokes a bit at the eyes.

Consider this story Gore told as a way to connect with the predominantly black audience. "We are one of the most successful administrations in what we set out to accomplish in the history of the country because of our diversity," Gore boasted to big applause. He then took a trip to Hollywood. "One movie that came out a few years ago was a movie called Grand Canyon," he said, now completely off the script his office sent me. "It was a movie about the gulf between rich and poor, between majority and minority. There was scene that has really lingered in my mind. A character played by Danny Glover is helping an acquaintance played by Kevin Kline there in South Central Los Angeles at night. And there are scenes of disorder all around them. A siren wails in the background. A scene of violence is evident on the other side of the street. The signs of poverty are everywhere; windows and doors are boarded up. Litter. Scenes of urban devastation. And the character played by Danny Glover looked up and in a poignant moment said, `You know, it's not supposed to be this way.'"

Written down, it sort of makes sense. But out of his mouth, it was just a series of sentences. It was painful to listen to. The audience sat waiting for a summation, a point, the way a novice dancer might anticipate a cue from her lead. Gore never provided such a cue. He earned no applause. From a presidential aspirant, it's not supposed to be this way.

Gore's formula was simple: Recognize progress, but dwell on the negative, which points to the need for more government action. For example, after stating that blacks and whites graduate from high school at the same rates, he shifted his focus to problems facing African Americans. He got particularly riled up that the average black family has but 10 percent of the wealth of the average white family.

"It reflects injustices of five generations ago," said Gore, his voice now showing a bit of passion, which garnered him a bit of applause. Gore continued: "If you start with the family wealth that is not just 10 percent less, not just half, but one tenth the average family wealth in the majority community, then business formation and entrepreneurship has more of an obstacle to overcome." Not bad on paper. But he delivered it in such a blockheaded fashion that it was met with polite silence. This man just doesn't groove.

After a significant applause drought, Gore got some claps when he promised to "finish up quick, so the dinner shift can start." "Amen," said a UPI correspondent sitting two spots to my right. But even here he didn't deliver. He still had America's mission to get to, he hadn't yet held forth on the wealth gap, and South Africa still needed addressing.

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