Capital Letters: Michael and Me

Michael W. Lynch from the February 1999 issue

(Page 3 of 3)

What about the argument that we need a better rate of return? I asked. "That's true." he said. " Why can't you do that investing in the market and having it controlled by the government. What's wrong with that?"

"Some would argue that's creeping socialism," I said, putting a little reportorial distance between myself and this opinion. "I want socialism to creep as fast as it can into the world because as an Irish Catholic all that word socialism means is that income should be fairly distributed and wealth should be fairly distributed among the people," Moore responded. "The camel will have an easier time getting through the eye of a needle than a rich man getting into heaven."

It was 11:40 a.m. I was hungry. I left for lunch.

Date: Wed, December 9, 1998 8:02:44 PM
From: [e-mail]
Subj: Moore's Tripped Up

Yesterday at quitting time I headed over to the Hay Adams Hotel, where a celebration was being held in honor of Mark Davis and Gary Aldrich, who had just co-authored a novel, Speak No Evil. I arrived about a half-hour late, circa 6 p.m. The room was packed and abuzz with talk of D.C. celebrities, Aldrich himself counting as one in some circles. (He is the FBI agent turned bestselling author whose book Unlimited Access alleged all sorts of White House "shenanigans.") Someone pointed out Donna Rice-Hughes, of Gary Hart fame, who is now an anti-porn activist. And several people told me that Linda Tripp was scheduled to appear.

About midway into Aldrich's speech, Tripp arrived, basking in the lights of an adoring TV camera. People who tell the truth about this town shouldn't be chained to the back of a pickup truck and dragged through the streets, said Aldrich, who soon would ask for a round of applause for those bold enough to tell the truth.

After the speeches, I edged my way to the bar to pick up a beer. Tripp was nowhere in sight. I ran into former America's Voice anchor Genevieve Wood. The topic somehow turned to Gus Van Sant's remake of Psycho. "I don't need to see any lesbians," blurted Wood. I turned around and was facing Linda Tripp.

"My name is Michael Lynch. I am from REASON magazine," I offered, as I shook her hand. My eyes were oscillating between her eyes and a diamond-studded brooch covering her blouse's top button. I was paralyzed, not knowing what to say. "I, too, tape my phone conversations with a Radio Shack recorder," came to mind, but I thought better of it. "So what did you think of the impeachment hearings today?" was another possibility, although I was sure others would use it.

She had registered recognition when I mentioned REASON, perhaps believing in free minds and free markets. Finally, with nothing intelligent to say, I resorted to flattery. I told her that while I was bored with the whole thing, there was someone on our staff to whom she was a personal hero. She appeared pleased.

I was soon out the door. Stepping off the elevator in the lobby, I was again confronted with Michael Moore. I pulled out my notepad and approached him to ask how he squared such digs with his egalitarian outlook. But it turned out he wasn't staying at the hotel, just stalking Linda Tripp. He was being prevented from going to the party by hotel staff.

"I see you everywhere," I said. He asked if I was trying to see Tripp. I told him I had just returned from doing exactly that. I asked him how he felt about being on my Washington beat. He said he didn't like it at all. I may make a libertarian out of you, I twitted, noticing that his mind was someplace else--perhaps on the footage of Tripp he didn't get. "I am half with you," he said. "Pro-choice, legalize drugs, keep the government out of our bedrooms, even when they are attached to the Oval Office." As I walked to the Metro, I thought, That's the part of libertarianism I like best too. Although I don't think there's a bedroom attached to the Oval Office.