Backed Up Toilets

Michael W. Lynch | September 17, 1998

(Page 2 of 2)

People should be free to enter into voluntary agreements. Markets don't have goals, other than providing individuals with a secure context for free exchange.

It's easier to start a stupid program than to kill one.

If Americans were polled on whether the federal government should regulate toilet size, they'd no doubt reject the idea based solely on a healthy dose of common sense. No president would propose such silliness, and few legislators would run for office on such nonsense.

But once the program is in place, interests will rally to preserve it. A coalition dubbed the ''tiny toilet consortium'' - an amalgamation of water districts, plumbing manufacturers and consultants - pooled its resources and produced the aforementioned report, which touts Americans' satisfaction with their truncated toilets.

Americans, however, are writing another story in their checkbooks. Plumbing suppliers in Windsor, Ontario, are doing brisk business with American buyers. U.S. border guards report stopping toilet- toting Americans at the Canadian border.

Humorist Dave Barry, after dedicating a column to tiny toilets, writes of receiving ''a huge quantity of letters -some of them far more detailed than I would have liked - from Americans who care DEEPLY about the issue of their toilets, and the vast majority of them hate the new ones.''

Americans may hate their new toilets, but Washington's not about to flush away any of its power. All new toilet owners can do is hope that the third time is the charm in the new flushing order.