Put That in Your Pipe

As an act of rebellion against political correctness, pipe smoking is hard to beat.

Rick Newcombe from the July 1994 issue

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I began smoking a pipe in 1978, at the age of 28. At the time, I was a two-pack-a-day cigarette smoker. I could not run a mile without collapsing from wheezing, and on many nights my hacking cough woke me up. There was no way for me to be a moderate cigarette smoker. I decided that cigarettes were poison for me, but I still wanted to smoke, so I tried a pipe.

It took a while to get the hang of it. I suffered tongue bite; I broke one pipe because I didn't know how to handle it; I was not used to smoking without inhaling; I smoked way too fast and burned the briar on several pipes--and made a dozen other mistakes typical of the beginning pipe smoker. Pipe smoking is a ritual that requires patience and study. You can't just go to a drugstore, buy the least expensive pipe you can find, and expect to enjoy the smoke. It can take years of study and practice before your enjoyment reaches that point of contentment that only professional pipe smokers know.

When it comes to pipes, I'm strictly a beginning student. Christopher Morley wrote in 1916 that "pipe smoking is properly an intellectual exercise." I have read 17 books on the subject and hundreds, perhaps thousands, of articles, and I still learn something new every time I visit a knowledgeable tobacconist. The best overview of the subject I've seen is The Ultimate Pipe Book by Richard Carleton Hacker, a fact-filled volume written in an interesting and fun style. Pipe collecting as a hobby has become such a passion for me that I own nearly 200 pipes, some dating back to the 1920s and '30s. I know the history of nearly all of them and the biography of the pipe carver. There may be only a few pipe smokers left, but we are intelligent and dedicated.

If smoking has any future at all, it lies in moderate pipe smoking. I realize excessive pipe and cigar smoking can contribute to some forms of mouth, throat, or lip cancer, but it is the excess that is the problem. It is relatively easy, with time and practice, to be a moderate pipe smoker.

As a statement of rebellion against political correctness, it's hard to beat pipe smoking. It's not nearly as risky as smoking cigarettes, and it offers unique pleasures. A whole new world of enjoyment will open up for you once you start discovering the various types of briar, the thousands of blends of exquisite tobaccos from all over the world, the hundreds of traditional and unusual shapes, sizes, and finishes for a pipe, and the possibilities for beautiful artwork carved into meerschaum and briar pipes. Remember the advice of this century's greatest scientist: Pipe smoking facilitates relaxation and objectivity. Also keep in mind that Einstein did not worry about defying convention. And to be a pipe smoker in America in the 1990s, you really must be an individualist.